Keeping our kids safe is our number one job, right? But kids can learn valuable lessons when we show them how to take risks.
___
Last winter I took my daughters ice skating for the first time. As we sat on the benches figuring out how to get the skates on, one of my girls asked, “Do you know how to skate?”
My response, “Nope, I have never been—but we’ll figure it out together.”
I’m not sure what we did that night qualified as skating … it was more just pulling ourselves around the rink by the wall on the side. We never made it to the center of the rink, and we definitely didn’t perform any pirouettes or fancy figure eights. But we sure had a lot of fun.
This weekend we made our first trip this year back to the rink to try again. All three of us did better. We skated on our own for the most part, free from the wall, with very few falls and quite a bit of holding on to each other. And we’ll be back again.
♦◊♦
We will keep trying new things and the more they see failure as part of life, the better.
|
We teach our kids lessons in a number of ways. One of the best is through experiences. My daughters had a blast this time and were proud of how they did, but they also learned some lessons.
Falling down is OK.
As they started to venture away from the safety of the wall or from holding my hands, they learned the ice isn’t that forgiving. The first couple of times they looked at me for help, but after that they pretty quickly caught on that falling is part of the deal. Skating is difficult, and getting better means taking your falls in stride.
We will keep trying new things and the more they see failure as part of life, the better.
Building confidence.
On this recent skating trip, I could see the confidence growing in my girls by the minute. Every time they took off from me and didn’t fall, they were excited—all smiles and eager to keep going.
The experience is huge for them, to see they can accomplish something. Increased confidence is transferable, meaning, when their teacher challenges them with a new task at school, they are more likely to proceed with confidence when they have had success with new things before.
Increased autonomy.
One of my daughters is much more independent than the other, so I wasn’t entirely surprised when after about 30 minutes she took off ahead of us. Forget that she is already better than me, and there was no way I would catch up with her … but even so, I watched with a lot of pride as she took off 20 yards ahead of us before realizing and looking back. The light bulb went on for her, “I can do this!”
We all hear our kids at an early age saying they don’t need our help, almost as soon as they can talk. But it isn’t usually the case, so we still open their snacks or pour the milk, etc. I’m often guilty of still doing things for them they are capable of doing on their own. So this was a great reminder for me, they are capable.
Forget that she is already better than me and there was no way I would physically catch up with her…
|
Security is still here.
The great thing about us trying this new thing together is the reminder to them that I am there. There is comfort for them to step out on their own, when they know that I am right behind them and will be there if they need a hand. It is times like these to reinforce that fact, so when they venture to new things when I am not around, they still know I’m always available.
One of my favorite things about having two daughters is getting to do things I’ve never done before. Not only is it fun, but I also believe the willingness to even try teaches a valuable lesson. The more we show our kids that risk is ok … even a really good thing, the better off they will be as they grow up.
Photo courtesy of author
I work with adolescent addicts (boys) and what people don’t understand is that their addiction includes the behaviors surrounding the use of drugs. They get as much out of buying/selling as they do using. So what we’re working with are kids that are addicted to the adrenalin rush they get in the overall behavior. So what do we do to satisfy that rush? These are kids that are used to running the streets, dodging bullets, running from the police on an adrenaline high. About 10 years ago, we joined a group called CHILL. They developed a program for kids like… Read more »