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Compared to the fathers of a generation ago, today’s dads have tripled the time they spend with their families, and do at least twice the housework. It’s the age of equality, after all, that teaches us the importance of giving a helping hand. Our hardworking wives need it, and so do our kids, parents, and friends. It’s up to us, dads, to be both the providers and the involved and present fathers.
It’s not exactly a piece of cake being everywhere at the same time and doing it all at once. Some would dare say it’s impossible. But everything is achievable with a little resilience.
The empowering capacity to stand up, recover from difficulties, and move on with the same kind of zeal for life is everything we need to succeed in our roles as fathers, husbands, sons and human beings.
Here’s why.
A Dad Is a Son’s First Hero
Nobody’s born a gladiator but we can all find it in us to foster warriors.
When you’re a father, this is the most important thing in the world. And, not only because your kids tend to look at you as if you were some almighty creature in shiny armor with amazing new gadgets popping up from your superhero belt, but primarily because your kids tend to look up at you as a dad.
This means no cursing, no meltdowns, and no unhealthy venting. Whatever it is that may be happening in your professional and intimate life, the way you’re handling these hardships and challenges is a valuable lesson to your kids. You need resilience to ground yourself, rediscover focus, and keep going.
More importantly, you need resilience in order to pass resilience down to your super-humans to be.
Change Is the Only Constant
Perhaps you like the routine; it may also be that you find challenges exciting. Whatever the case, change is the only constant in this rapidly transforming world, and you must find the best coping mechanism in order to adapt and take a positive turn. This applies to both your career and family life.
Without resilience, the smallest disturbance has enough power to derail you.
Imagine being a father who flees at the first sign of nuisance. Or retreats when it’s time to step up and take the lead. A unique kind of composure fused with the flexibility that comes from resilience allows you to keep your head long after you’ve lost the ground under your feet. It allows you to keep your cool.
Resilience is about staying in control, about flexing to respond and prevail. It’s also about making sound decisions and holding yourself responsible.
The Mind Suffers the Most
Not a single part of being a father is easy. The trials of married life and pressures of bringing home the bacon multiply at the very second you meet your mini-you. It’s enough to mess with your head as it is, but just wait to see how much messier it becomes with years. Spoiler alert: you’ll need your sanity.
Developing resilience will help you nurture your mind. It will teach you that, as a hardworking dad, you still must find some time for yourself, a quiet moment to think, to read and to grow. At the same time, resilience will fortify your mental strength. You’ll be forceful and resistant enough to stay sane.
Having Someone to Rely On
All the best qualities, and resilience is among them, stem from introspection and come with self-discovery. When times are hard and trying, a mentally strong individual – be he a loving dad, a successful businessman, or both at the same time – must seek support and discover it within himself.
Your family relies on you, so you’ll need to rely on yourself too.
But in order to do so, you have to know the person you are first and to embrace your weaknesses and strengths second. It’s a long and solitary road, the one that’s paved with hopes and dreams, but hurdled with self-doubt. It’s a road that must be crossed by everyone who pursues wisdom and wits.
As a dad, you’ll need both. Resilience will help you emerge from this journey as well, and this journey will hone it in return. Expect setbacks and failures, and be ready to turn to your spouse for help. The Resilience Institute offers plenty of tools and resources that can guide you through, so equip yourself on time.
Dads Need to Grow Too
This is for those times when you ask – but why me?
Is it selfish to stick to your dreams when there’s a family to support? Could you still climb to the top (metaphorically or literally), or will you spend all your time, energy and passion on somebody else?
It’s something that you’ll need to discover on your own, but yes, dads are entitled to dream too. It’s only with resilience that you’ll find time, energy and passion to work on that and make it come true.
Compared to the fathers of a generation ago, we’re now in a position to break the pattern and be much more than just dads. It takes a lot of introspection, plenty of courage, and some restructuring to make us superheroes to our kids, devoted partners, and be our own man – all at the same time.
So let’s not stagnate, but grow.
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Photo credit: Getty Images