Why Some Practical Relationships Thrive and Others Fail

Yesterday, my friend saw a seemingly perfect couple and told me he was jealous. He then went on to ask me why I think successful relationships work.

I told him I didn’t know.

However, as I thought about it more and more, I believe I have a pretty good idea of why some relationships work and others don’t. It boils down to 3 things.

1st Pillar — Proper Communication

Dogs try to talk to you but you don’t understand.

I could try to write this entire piece in a different language, and you wouldn’t understand a word unless you spoke it.

You need to speak your partner’s language and make sure they understand or you’ll be guiding them through complex terrain with a wrong map.

This means truly listening to what your partner is saying and not just waiting to respond.

If a relationship gets this right, it has a very strong first pillar even Hercules can’t destroy. If it gets it wrong, “Now tell me, who are you”? A little Easter egg puzzle for you if you have watched the movie Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson.

2nd Pillar — Trust

Trust in my opinion is the foundation of every relationship. Without it, all you have is rubble waiting to crumble.

Trusting your partner and then trusting you back shows you both feel safe and comfortable with each other. Knowing you can rely on them and they can rely on you as well.

Building trust takes time and effort and should not be rushed. Being reliable and following through with everything you say or promise is a good start.

When trust is present, you both will be open and vulnerable in each other’s company. Not scared to share all thoughts and secrets without fear of being judged or betrayed.

If you’re struggling with trust, communicate it with your partner and get it sorted out. Do you see how each pillar feeds into each other?

3rd Pillar — Intimacy

I don’t mean just physical touch. I find that intimacy is often limited to mean physical connection.

It’s a lot deeper than that.

Intimacy is that feeling of warm connection and closeness you feel with the person you love. Healthy physical touch only comes as a side effect of this.

Spend time with your partner and share some activities with them. Let them in and show them that they can trust you enough to let you in.

…

A great relationship isn’t about finding the perfect partner as that would be an impossible feat.

It’s about finding someone you communicate with effortlessly, trust, and can share intimacy with. Build on these strong pillars and you’ll have a home that can’t be huffed and puffed down.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to drink water.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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