Once upon a time, a grandma and grandpa decided to visit their grandchildren. Each day during their stay, the grandpa would lie down on the sofa and have a nap, as grandpas often do. One day, as a practical joke, the grandchildren decided to put some blue cheese in the grandpa’s mustache while he was sleeping. You know — that really stinky kind of cheese.
Not long after, the grandpa woke up sniffing. “Why, this room stinks!” He exclaimed as he got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t in the kitchen for too long until he decided that the kitchen smelled as well. “This kitchen stinks too,” He said. So he walked outside to get some fresh air. Much to the grandpa’s surprise, the open air brought no relief, and he proclaimed, “The whole world stinks!”
In the same way, the attitudes and beliefs we carry around with us determine what we think about the world. Like stinky cheese caught in our mustache, the reasons we think the world stinks sometimes can be right under our noses caught up in the beliefs we hold about the world — the meaning of life, the reason we are here, the way that we are supposed to live.
You see, every person operates out of a basic set of convictions and attitudes about reality, truth, meaning, and how the world works. These beliefs are right under our noses, and often we don’t know where they came from and what they are, but they affect our outlook on life and our perception of the world. We call this set of beliefs a worldview, and everyone has a worldview.
The prevailing world view of our day
Have you ever wondered why you believe the things you believe? Have you ever considered the principles that guide your life? If you’re like me, then probably not that much. However, recently I came across a study by David Kinnaman that really got me thinking.
David Kinnaman is the preeminent Christian researcher globally, and his research on faith and culture is fascinating. Kinnaman surveyed over 1,000 young adults in the USA to find out what they believe about life and the world — their guiding principles. From this survey, he came up with a list of six statements that he believes reflect the new moral code of the West, at least among Millenials.
One of the most significant findings from this study was that 91% of American Millennials believe the best way to find yourself is by looking inside yourself. Or — to put it another way — the answers are inside of you.
You don’t have to look very far to find a plethora of material that supports this view. Even the most cursory glance a Google reveals thousands upon thousands of websites that provide step-by-step guides on how to find the answers within yourself.
On the other hand, you won’t find too many websites about why looking within yourself might actually be unhelpful. You might believe that looking inside yourself is an excellent place to look for answers, but, as for me, I’m not convinced.
As an early millennial myself, I resolved to critique this idea. Having wrestled with it for some time, I have decided that I won’t be looking inside myself for answers, nor trying to find myself by looking within. I realize that I am in the minority here, and that means you might hate this article, but hear me out. There are some really good reasons that looking inside for the answers is a bad idea.
Here are five that I’ve come up with:
1. I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is best
The reality is, when I go to myself with a question, I tend to tell myself what I want to hear. For example, I might ask myself what I should do in a particular situation. Normally, when I refer to myself, I will tend to do the thing that I want to do anyway, and it’s usually the thing that benefits me the most, rather than what might be in the best interests of other people, for example. And then, once I’ve told myself what I want to hear, I back myself up all the way and justify my actions based on that. And so, because I tell myself what I want to hear, I am not a good person to go to for the answers to life’s questions.
I don’t think I am unique in this way. The reality is that sometimes I need an objective opinion that comes from outside of me, or else I risk just doing whatever the hell I want all the time.
2. I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is good
The second reason I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is good — at least not every time. When I’m really honest with myself, and I take a look inside — when I look at what is really in my heart — it’s not always good. I hear people say, “Follow the desires of your heart!” but, when I think about it, I know that is a bad idea because many (not all) of the desires of my heart are actually really bad, really selfish, and would potentially hurt other people. I am sure that my heart is not the only heart with a dark shadow side to it.
Thus, the second reason why I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I do not trust that those answers will always be good.
3. I don’t trust that I will always tell myself the truth
The third reason I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I simply do not trust that I will always tell myself the truth. If the idea that “The answers can be found within yourself” is accurate for everyone, what happens when two people get two different answers to the same question. Can both be true?
Have you ever had someone say to you, “Well, that’s true for you, but for me, this other thing is true?” How can two diametrically opposed things both be true? In reality, the only way a truth can be the truth is if it is true for everyone. And the only way that can be true is if the truth is given to us from somewhere other than ourselves. Truth doesn’t come from within. It might live there, you might find it there, but it didn’t come from there.
So, for this reason, I can’t go to myself for the answers because I don’t trust that what I tell myself is always true and not just something I’ve constructed for myself. In reality, the truth should sometimes disagree with your opinion. “The truth hurts” is more than just a simple idiom. Sometimes, when we are casually strolling down the wrong path in life, believing that we are on the right path in life, we need some truth delivered to us from an outside source.
4. I don’t trust myself to follow through on the answers anyway
There is a fourth reason why I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers. Even when I think I’ve found some answers within, sadly, it doesn’t necessarily change anything. For example, I may realize what I need to do in a particular situation, but actually doing it — that’s another thing altogether. And so, even if I do find some answers, answers don’t always lead to change. In fact, answers seem to lead to more questions. And the one question I can’t seem to answer is why can’t I seem to put the answers into practice? Even if I find all the answers within, I’m still going to need some external help. I need to be held accountable, but if I am only accountable to myself, then I tend to let myself off the hook too easily.
5. I have no right to disagree with anyone
Finally, if the answers are inside you and me, then we have no right to tell anyone else they are wrong. When you follow relativism to its logical end, it removes the right of anyone to disagree with anyone about anything. Who am I to tell you the answer that you found inside yourself is wrong?
So it stands to reason that if the truth doesn’t come to us from somewhere external, then the only measuring stick we have to judge right from wrong is whatever we feel inside.
So Where Do We Find Answers?
So, there you have it. That’s why I’m looking elsewhere for my answers. As for where those answers can be found, that is your existential quest. I would only recommend that you don’t use yourself as your central point of reference.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in gravity. You may have decided in your mind that gravity is not true. However, when you put your truth to the test and jump out of a plane at thirty thousand feet, the answer you found inside of you will be shown for what it is.
You are entitled to believe whatever you want about the nature of the universe, and I’m certainly not here to tell you what to believe. However, some truths exist outside of you, whether you like it or not. Sorry— the answers are not inside you — at least not all of them!
—
This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock