Why Your Relationships Don’t Work

Answer the following questions to see if this article is for you:

• Do you reject compliments?
• Do you make excuses to justify looking good?
• Do you give someone else credit for your job?
• Do you finish your sentences seeking approval?
• Do you deny yourself orgasms?
• Do you not order what you want in a restaurant because it is too expensive?
• Do you laugh at the offensive nicknames you are given?

If you answered yes, then darling, that is the reason your relationships failed, are failing, and will fail.

Because you failed to take care of the most important one, your relationship with yourself.

Guideline

• Where does this lack of self-love come from
• Why you must love yourself first
• Physical appearance
• 2 things a happy person would never say

Source

You did not choose not to love yourself, you were taught to. And you may think, how? I don’t recall having a subject in high school that taught me this.

Ever since we were kids, we were taught to please adults and be good people: sharing our things, caring about everybody… Manners.

We were taught excellent manners to lack self-love, always putting our needs and desires last.

So let’s start solving this problem by learning the meaning of love.

What is love?

Image by the author

And how can we do this?

Loving ourselves first

Once you accept your worth, there’s no need for external reassurance. You’ll be able to love just for the pleasure of loving, and not expecting something in return.

However, if you lack self-love you have no love to give, and neither will you know what to do with the love you are given.

Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

We fail to adress the things we do wrong as lessons instead of self-worth. You must never mistake your self-worth regarding your behavior or someone’s behavior towards you.

Only YOU can decide your value, and for God’s sake, you don’t have to give anyone explanations about the magnitude of that value.

Physical appearance

This is a very controversial topic because a lot of people value their worth taking into account how beautiful they are.

Don’t worry, I am not here to tell you that you are perfect and there’s nothing wrong with you.

If you feel you want a bigger butt, a flatter belly or bulkier arms go for it. Nobody is stopping you.

But understand this. There are things you cannot change, for instance, your height, I am too tall. But too tall compared to what? Who decided on the perfect height?

Are you seriously going to value your physical appearance and self-worth regarding society’s fucked up metrics? The ones used to make us feel ashamed for being human?

Society presents us with this message: you will only be attractive when you are artificial.

Image by the author

Stop saying this

Imagine you are at a social gathering, and to make small chit chat someone says ‘Pf, I am so tired’. Darling, what do you expect us to do? If you’re tired go home.

Image by the author

These types of complaints are typical of people who have no self-love and desperately ask for attention and pity from the crowd.

What is more, happy and self-loving people will never complain about things that are out of their control. What’s the point of complaining about the air conditioning of the mall if you cannot do anything about it.

It’s negative thinking just for the thrill of it. So stop complaining, it’s worse than smoking.

True love and happiness come when one can love oneself and accept everyone and everything the way they are.

It’s a hard journey, but for sure, worth every step of the way.

I learned this thanks to Wayne Dyer’s amazing book: Your Erroneous Zones, you should definitely take a look at it!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article! I am grateful that I could share my knowledge with you and truly hope it somehow helped you. If you have something you would like to add or another insight on the matter, don’t hesitate to share it with me.

Have a lovely day!

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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