Marzena Bielecka has some ideas about how to keep from getting “Friend Zoned”…over and over.
You keep asking, “Why doesn’t she want to be anything more than ’just a friend’ to you?”
Although friendship is valuable, it’s not what you really want from that hot girl you’re interested in. Somewhere between outright rejection and a relationship, there is the desert no man’s land of The Friend Zone.
What are some signs of being Friend Zoned?
You meet a hot girl and start hanging out together and everything is going well. She seems to really enjoy your company, laughs at your jokes, and maybe even flirts casually. She may say things like “You’re such a nice guy!” or , “I hope I meet a guy like you some day” If you ask her out to dinner or out to the movies, she might ask: “Who else is going to be there?”
If you think you might make a great couple, but she keeps throwing up obstacles when it comes to taking your relationship to the next level, bad news, you’ve probably been friend zoned! Why did it happen and how to get out of the friend zone?
The love chain.
The ‘Nice Guy’ effect.
Is it possible to be “too nice”? Of course it is. Unfortunately we females don’t always behave rationally. Sure, we usually complain that guys are just assholes and are immature and avoid anything resembling a committed relationship. However, we also tend to overlook “nice guys” and choose the “bad boys.” It’s not that we want to be treated like shit or anything, but “bad boys” are just more interesting and mysterious—their confidence is attractive and sexy.
Subconsciously we ignore the fact that there is a higher probability that they might hurt us, but we choose them anyway, hoping that “this guy will be different.” The same way a lot of us tend to choose bad guys, we tend to ignore nice guys. Paradoxically, if you show us ladies that you are confident in yourself, and that you can say “no” to us from time to time, we will start to notice you more. How weird does that sound…don’t be too nice to that hot girl you’re interested in.
You just aren’t her type
From what I have noticed, guys are a little more flexible when it comes to the “types” of girls they are interested in. If a girl is hot and isn’t too annoying and can actually hold a conversation, usually a guy will at least ask her for her number or out on a date, but for us ladies it’s more complicated. We are pretty particular when it comes to the “types” of men we are interested in: don’t take it personally.
For example, if she’s only into older guys, she won’t be afraid to put younger guys into the friend zone. If she’s into professional types with money, she isn’t going to be impressed by a teacher. If she’s only into tall muscular guys, then she’s not going to be impressed by the small, intellectual type. If she wants something serious but you are a total man-whore who can have anyone—she will friend zone you too, and so on.
Usually even our closest friends aren’t aware of the types of guys we are into. If we meet a guy who is cute and interesting, we might be flattered that he’s into us, but probably wouldn’t let him out of the friend zone
You should project yourself as a potential boyfriend
No matter what you think of when you think of us ladies, you have to remember that we have an animal side as well. If we see a guy that’s smart, supportive, and willing to do things for us without anything in return, of course we are going to be friends with him? Who wouldn’t be?
But if you reading this article you’d probably rather be a boyfriend, or at least a friend with benefits. I would suggest showing that hot girl you’re interested in more of your masculine side. Show her that you’re confident and that other women are interested in you. If you are only interested in that one girl that has put you in the friend zone, don’t limit yourself to only her company. Go out with the other girls and show her that other women find you desirable and enjoy your company. A feeling of competition between us ladies is always a turn-on.
You’re making it too easy
Humans often continue to act like children into adulthood. Similarly, like children, if the same old toy that we are comfortable with is always around, we get bored. What we really want is a new toy, a toy that other people want to play with. Sorry for this metaphor, but I’m afraid it’s the closest way to illustrate the truth.
If you want a girl, you can’t always be there for her. We ladies are players too, and we want to know that we have to put in some effort. If a guy is too obvious with his feelings, sometimes we get freaked out and demote him.. Learn to say no to her from time to time.
Being aware of the potential reasons why you’ve been “Friend Zoned” may help you solve the problem and take your relationship to the next level.