Your Marriage: Paying Now or Later

“Motion creates clarity. Waiting creates anxiety.”

Olly J

Several years ago my client Todd said, “My marriage is important but…..” My mind immediately went to “now he’s going to tell me why it’s not.”

Because that’s what the but means.

I get the same feeling when I talk with prospective clients. They say they want a better marriage, more connection with their wives, until we start talking money.

What they see as a cost, I see as an investment.

Here’s the deal. I won’t lie to a prospective client. I cannot promise I can save their marriage.

I can promise that if they learn the skills I teach and consistently implement them, all of their relationships will improve.

One of the challenges is how long a given marriage is struggling before either party reaches out. There is a belief that both partners have to be willing to get help for things to improve. But one person, doing the right thing, can turn the relationship around.

The problem is that most people wait too long. They know that their marriage isn’t what they want it to be but don’t think it’s “that bad”.

And, in truth, some marital issues will resolve by themselves with time. But most won’t!

I’ve talked with men who have been in sexless marriages for 5, 10, even 50 years. Or there have been serious financial disagreements or issues around the children or in-laws. And yet, they keep accepting what they say is unacceptable.

Taking appropriate action sooner rather than later is what will turn things around.

70% of people admit they had no idea of what marriage entailed before they got married. I propose that figure is actually higher—especially for first marriages.

Because no one has to go to Relationship School. And marriage is an extremely complicated relationship.

And if you don’t invest in understanding what makes it work, you will end up paying the high price that is divorce. Financially and emotionally.

So many more marriages could be saved if unproductive behaviors weren’t allowed to continue month after month, year after year.

What would the ROI of having a great marriage be for you?

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Previously Published on The Hero Husband Project republished with permission and is republished on Medium.

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