“The first step is to admit that we’re powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.”
I’d argue that is one of the most important sentences ever written. It was written by a man named Bill Wilson (AKA Bill W.) who founded Alcoholics Anonymous, the blueprint by which all 12-step programs are built.
Are you powerless over your bullshit?.
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It isn’t just in AA. You can apply that sentence and that concept to anything in life…and I do mean anything.
Full disclosure: I’m not saying that I’m an alcoholic. But as the son of two addicts, I’ve seen what the scourge of alcoholism and addiction can do to someone. Ann and Tony are no longer with us today because of that evil scourge.
Now, I’m not talking about alcoholism or addiction. What I am talking about is personal transformation.
Every personal transformation that has ever happened always begins with someone getting sick of their story. It’s like author Elizabeth Gilbert once wrote “I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting sick of their own bullshit.”
I’m in the personal transformation business. And I’m very good at what I do.
Breakthroughs and personal transformation aren’t rocket science. If I was a rocket scientist, I’d be making more money. It’s really simple if you think about it.
If you want to truly find your voice and transform your life, all you’ve got to do are these two things:
- Get sick and tired of your own bullshit, sad sack, ‘oh woe-is-me’ story.
- Share your newly empowered story with another soul.
In other words – disempower the sad shit and empower the good shit.
I’ll give you a perfect example of this. I’m not going to her use her name and what she shared with me because what she shared with me was intensely personal. But I do want to acknowledge the power in her empowering her greatness.
For context sake, let’s call this woman “Possibility.” And no, she’s not related to “Potential” either. Same context and similar growing feelings.
Similar fears too, but I digress.
Possibility was recently a participant in something really cool. And she shared with me the letter she wrote to the organizers of the thing she participated in.
This letter was beautifully written and intensely personal. And I’m honored she shared it with me.
But what it got me present to was a that she’s a woman who is tired of her own bullshit and wants to empower her truth and her light.
And she wants to share her empowered story with another soul.
That’s a story from my personal life, but I hope y’all get my point. When it comes to personal transformation, we all have to have that moment when we simply say “ENOUGH!”
- Enough with the anxiety!
- Enough with the self-doubt!
- Enough with the negativity!
- Enough with the crap!
- Enough!
In other words, are you powerless over your bullshit?
Keep this in mind, that crappy story that we all have is designed for one reason and one reason only…to keep us safe. That story we all have about all the reasons why we ‘can’t’ (whatever that means) is designed to keep us from getting hurt.
Most of the people I work with believe they’re powerless over their BS story. So, they defend it, and they fight back against anyone who tries to tell them that it’s BS.
And…full disclosure…I’m the world’s best at defending my own BS story. Imagine this: I’m a feral cat caught behind a boulder. I’m lashing out and fighting like hell against my rescuers. But I need to be rescued.
Callback to last week…
So, what do we do? What do we do?
First, I want to let you in on a pretty big secret. You ready?
You’re not powerless over your BS story. That BS story is powerless over YOU!
Yeah, how’s that for a reversal? You’re more powerful than you realize. Your power is truly limitless.
Every personal transformation that has ever happened always begins with someone getting sick of their story.
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Let’s take a look at the fundamental reason why we develop these BS stories that keep us safe. I’m about to play amateur therapist here but roll with me.
Something happens when we’re young – usually before we’re 7 years old – that sets off a series of events that lead to your creation of this story. It’s usually a traumatic event that teaches you that life isn’t safe.
For me, that event was the death by car crash of an aunt and uncle with whom I was very close. December 1, 1984 – I was but 7 years old.
Seeing my family’s reaction to this horrific event (and especially how my mom reacted to losing her best friend) taught me that life simply wasn’t safe. Life was dangerous and that any move that disrupted the status quo was crazy, stupid, and unsafe.
In other words, that’s why I’ve developed the protective shell of my BS story.
Let’s take a look at a couple practices that you can take on to interrupt that BS story.
- Look at what triggers your fears – I’m not talking about the fear of spiders or the fear of someone holding a loaded gun at your nose. I’m talking about the fears that live inside our heads. The fear that we’re not enough. The fear that we’re a failure. The fear that we don’t deserve the life that we want. Look at those triggers and go deeper. What’s at the root of those fears? Who said you weren’t good enough? Who called you a failure?
- Get complete – Oh God, here I go again with the completion. Again, roll with me. Things have gone the way they’ve gone, and that’s behind you. Letting your anger toward your past hold you back means you’re putting your past in your future. FORGIVE YOURSELF! I mean, ‘cuz that’s exactly what completion is. (Side note, I’ve gotta get complete around something myself…)
- Share you story with another soul – Speaking of the 12-steps, I think step 12 itself really lays this out like a champ. “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” That’s where the idea of sponsorship comes into play. But that’s also what my friend was practicing when she shared her story with me.
Again, this ain’t difficult. It ain’t that deep. It’s all about taking a long, hard look at your life and remembering what makes you great.
What makes you great ain’t that BS story. But it’s the soul, the power, and the energy that courses through your being.
That’s what makes you great.
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Plugscaloosa:
- Registration is open for my group coaching program – Own Your Voice! Own Your Life! It’s an eight-week, four session group coaching program designed to help you find your voice, and to share your greatness.
- For more information, just email [email protected]. Or to go royalheartscoaching.com/voice to register.
- Registration ends at noon Eastern Time (US) on Wednesday September 12th, 2018.
- For more information, just email [email protected]. Or to go royalheartscoaching.com/voice to register.
Photo by Ranit Chakraborty on Unsplash