I set myself down at least once a week and cry. Im a musician so connecting with my emotional side is very important to me. With respect to your question music is what breaks me down to the point of tears
I also feel that breaking down and crying grounds me as a person and outs my emotions back in check..
Hope it helps,
Micah
Guest
Artemis
12 years ago
I try to make sure that my boyfriend knows that anywhere around me is a “safe space” for crying. Which might sound weird, but I am very aware of this “men don’t cry” socialization, which really doesn’t help someone’s emotional health.
I wouldn’t expect everyone to cry at movies or books or whatever (though I do, I cry at Gandalf’s death every time. And the Fox and the Hound. And even Supernatural once. It was so sad.) but I would definitely worry if someone was unable to cry at the death of a loved one or a pet.
I watched “Eat, Pray, Love”. I did not see “Eat, Pray, Love”. Except for the scene where the guy in the ashram said you have it in you to love the whole universe. So, then what?
What makes me want to cry is the not infrequent implication that if I don’t cry on cue, or over nothing, or over something like “Eat Pray, Love”, I’m an unevolved troglodyte.
Why is anybody’s crying, if any, anybody else’s business?
I found “Eat, Pray, Love” to be a very sad book from a man’s perspective, given how quickly and easily she just dumps the guy she’s in a long-term relationship with to travel around the world, and sees Italian men as playthings to be consumed just like one consumes gelato. Quite depressing, actually.
Man, that is actually really insightful. I get what Richard is saying about tearjerkers I general being somewhat disingenuous, but the point of how she uses men is a good one. What if roles were reversed? Is there a movie like that where the hero moves through women in order to augment his personal growth?
Gold Member
Leia
12 years ago
I’ve seen my ex cry only twice in a 7 year period:
(1) When he told me about how he couldn’t cry at his 17 yo sister’s funeral (she died in a car accident…but he held the tears in for many, many years)
and (2) When I told him I had had enough and was breaking it off for good with him….
The fact that he gave that to you means that you were someone very special to him. You see, men are socialized not to cry in front of anyone. When a man finds that special someone, who will allowhim to express his vulnerability without fear of being judged, it is very special.
There are many reasons why couples break up but please be assured that you were very special to him. I hope he understands the real reasons for your breakup and does not take this as a reason to hold his feelings inside and never give them to another.
I first heard it around Christmas of 2010, and the theme of it is that Christmas is a time you spend with your loved ones as a celebration of the fact that you’re all together and you made it through another year. Thing is, 2010 was also the year my mother died, and that was the first Christmas without her. That year, we didn’t all make it.
Yes, Men do cry. Or, we just stay bitter. It’s very rare and we get over it real fast. But, it’s part of the healing process after we’ve hit rock bottom. No need to deny it, but no need to spend any more time on it than it’s worth. Cry, get over it, and move on. You got people that depend on you……
I long for the day when it will be odd to make a list of reasons why a man cries, because it means we’ll be over the whole collective anti-tears neurosis. I see some progress already. It used to be “men don’t cry.” Now it looks like “men cry, but only for particular reasons.” Someday perhaps we can reach the point of saying “Men are people, and people cry.”
Perhaps I’m just emotionally disturbed, but my smartass response would be “why NOT cry?”
Honestly? Nothing really. It is almost impossible for me to cry. I can maybe squeeze out a few tears if I really try and think about the truly awful stuff that has happened in my life, but I can’t seem to make myself break down and cry no matter how much effort I put into it. It isn’t that my tear ducts are broken — onions have proven this — but I just can’t get myself to cry really.
I set myself down at least once a week and cry. Im a musician so connecting with my emotional side is very important to me. With respect to your question music is what breaks me down to the point of tears
I also feel that breaking down and crying grounds me as a person and outs my emotions back in check..
Hope it helps,
Micah
I try to make sure that my boyfriend knows that anywhere around me is a “safe space” for crying. Which might sound weird, but I am very aware of this “men don’t cry” socialization, which really doesn’t help someone’s emotional health.
I wouldn’t expect everyone to cry at movies or books or whatever (though I do, I cry at Gandalf’s death every time. And the Fox and the Hound. And even Supernatural once. It was so sad.) but I would definitely worry if someone was unable to cry at the death of a loved one or a pet.
I sometimes cry out of pure joy. These are private moments and moments that are motivated by happiness and gratefullness.
Sad movies, thats about it.
I am a sucker for certain C&W songs, with “If You Get There Before I Do” being the all-time #1 water works prompter.
I cry when Timmy Lupus catches the ball at the end of BAD NEWS BEARS.
I’ll hafta think of some others.
I watched “Eat, Pray, Love”. I did not see “Eat, Pray, Love”. Except for the scene where the guy in the ashram said you have it in you to love the whole universe. So, then what?
Playing Amazing Grace at funerals,
What makes me want to cry is the not infrequent implication that if I don’t cry on cue, or over nothing, or over something like “Eat Pray, Love”, I’m an unevolved troglodyte.
Why is anybody’s crying, if any, anybody else’s business?
I found “Eat, Pray, Love” to be a very sad book from a man’s perspective, given how quickly and easily she just dumps the guy she’s in a long-term relationship with to travel around the world, and sees Italian men as playthings to be consumed just like one consumes gelato. Quite depressing, actually.
Man, that is actually really insightful. I get what Richard is saying about tearjerkers I general being somewhat disingenuous, but the point of how she uses men is a good one. What if roles were reversed? Is there a movie like that where the hero moves through women in order to augment his personal growth?
I’ve seen my ex cry only twice in a 7 year period:
(1) When he told me about how he couldn’t cry at his 17 yo sister’s funeral (she died in a car accident…but he held the tears in for many, many years)
and (2) When I told him I had had enough and was breaking it off for good with him….
I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Are you saying that you dumped him because he never cried?
I don’t think thats what she said, not sure how you got that.
The fact that he gave that to you means that you were someone very special to him. You see, men are socialized not to cry in front of anyone. When a man finds that special someone, who will allowhim to express his vulnerability without fear of being judged, it is very special.
There are many reasons why couples break up but please be assured that you were very special to him. I hope he understands the real reasons for your breakup and does not take this as a reason to hold his feelings inside and never give them to another.
Various things, for me, but always this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q
I first heard it around Christmas of 2010, and the theme of it is that Christmas is a time you spend with your loved ones as a celebration of the fact that you’re all together and you made it through another year. Thing is, 2010 was also the year my mother died, and that was the first Christmas without her. That year, we didn’t all make it.
Yes, Men do cry. Or, we just stay bitter. It’s very rare and we get over it real fast. But, it’s part of the healing process after we’ve hit rock bottom. No need to deny it, but no need to spend any more time on it than it’s worth. Cry, get over it, and move on. You got people that depend on you……
I long for the day when it will be odd to make a list of reasons why a man cries, because it means we’ll be over the whole collective anti-tears neurosis. I see some progress already. It used to be “men don’t cry.” Now it looks like “men cry, but only for particular reasons.” Someday perhaps we can reach the point of saying “Men are people, and people cry.”
Perhaps I’m just emotionally disturbed, but my smartass response would be “why NOT cry?”
Honestly? Nothing really. It is almost impossible for me to cry. I can maybe squeeze out a few tears if I really try and think about the truly awful stuff that has happened in my life, but I can’t seem to make myself break down and cry no matter how much effort I put into it. It isn’t that my tear ducts are broken — onions have proven this — but I just can’t get myself to cry really.