Dallas Mayor Michael Rawlings said, “You can call a man who hits a woman a lot of things, but you can’t call him a man.”
Sir Patrick Stewart, who is most famous for his work in television and film, is also a leading activist in the fight against domestic violence. Last Friday he served as the host for the launch of “Ring the Bell,” a global campaign which Yahoo News explains calls on “1 million men to make 1 million ‘concrete, actionable promises’ to end violence against women.”
Over the last several years Stewart has spoken out about his own experiences as a child growing up in a home with domestic violence, he has described his father as “an angry and unhappy man who was not able to control his emotions—or his hands.” On Friday, while describing what that was like to the audience of about 200 politicians, actors, filmmakers and musicians Stewart said,
I became an expert. I knew exactly when to open a door and insert myself between my father’s fist and my mother’s body … The truth is my mother did nothing to deserve the violence she endured. She did not provoke my father—and even if she had, responding with violence is not an acceptable way with dealing with conflict.
Every nine seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten. Every nine seconds … Violence against women is the single greatest human rights violation of our generation. This is a call to action—not an action that will make things better in six months’ time or a year’s time, but action that might save someone’s life and someone’s future this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning.
Former NFL quarterback Don McPherson equates the need for men to confront men about domestic violence to the civil rights movement in the US. He said, “White people confronted white people to fight racism. Men need to confront men.”
You can call a man….but you can’t call him a man. So, can you call him a man or not? Maybe it should be “you could call a GUY who hits a woman….” I would also love to see much more precise language, because the following things are not necessarily synonymous: hitting a woman using violence against a woman physically abusing a woman domestic violence You can’t just use these phrases interchangeably. I can’t say universally that a man should never ever use force against a woman. There may be moments in which it is justifiable as self-defense. There may… Read more »
Where are the brave women calling for a stop to violence against men?
Why is this site ignore the plight of men and focus on men’s service to women?
I don’t remember much social outrage at the murders of Steve McNair and Phil Hartmann. Any celebrities come forward to tell women to police other women’s violence after those events?
Thebadman …Back to what Mediahound was saying about listening. Lot of women, so called “progressive feminists” appear to show a lot of empathy toward men and this issue in particular. If I heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times that feminism today is different and that they want to work with men. I don’t see it happening, do you? Every time VAWA came up for renewal, with factual data in hand, did ANY feminist group step up and take the lead and say, we have to change the language, men are being abused? Yet we’re supposed to join… Read more »
Tom, this is not directed at you but your concern oh so valid. I firmly believe MEN need to lead men’s issues and under umbrella of EQUAL RIGHTS, not feminism. Women will start to understand the difference between feminism and equal rights. Hypothetically, we would be up in arms if 1 million whites gathered to discuss how black people were the perpetrators of violence and whites were the victims. Awe, the poor whites, shame on those black people. Holy S#!t…we’d be outraged. Why is it that 1 million people can gather on DV and discuss how women are victims and… Read more »
BadMan–I don’t like your screen name, but it’s a good question…where are all those equal rights women? This type of unilateral activism from this Mayor, perpetuates the stereotype that men are all evil, oppressive, bad men, and sole perpetrators of DV and women can do no harm. It’s not balanced if it’s only about women. More legislation is coming to a town near you…it’s subtle fear mongering and not getting to the root cause: aggression. Aggression is a synonym for energy, not violence, plain and simple. Explore the definition, if you guys don’t believe me. Unchecked aggression can manifest in… Read more »
I’m a woman and I abhor violence-in all forms. In fact, after the recent events of women taking feminism to the extreme, and reading some of the articles on this site, I am starting to see things differently. I’ve been starting to get disenfranchised with the feminist movement for awhile now, because it’s starting to get to extreme. I feel that a connection with other women is important, but am unwilling to sit and listen when they say that men put women down to make themselves feel better because they lack any self esteem or worth. Basically, I’m a woman… Read more »
On of the best rebuttels of the standard line about dv is what I found here
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Great information John and it’s been around for a while …. now what? Other then some men, who cares to listen. I would venture to say that if you ask an average teen age boy if it was okay if a girl slapped a guy, kicked a guy or hit a guy, he would say yes and would more then likely follow it with something to the affect that he probably deserved it. I have no evidence to support what I just said but from what I’ve experienced with teen boy, I feel comfortable saying it.
I completely understand what you mean. As I have been there many many times. Both in my childhood and adult life. Men can be victims too. Especially since we are persecuted farther for being unable to protect ourselves. As though it is more shameful. In their eyes if we “let” it happen we deserved it. And therefor aren’t men at all. This couldn’t be more wrong.
Mediahound, your information, as with similar information presented by countless responders to these articles, is accurate. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear to matter. Things are not changing for men. Tiresome, isn’t it?
To add to the frustration, there are still many people who ask why men are angry.
To add to the frustration, there are still many people who ask why men are angry. So men are angry and the people asking the questions are deaf to any response? Sounds very much like bias to me – Institutional, Structural, Social. Some people are so uptight and self satisfied that they can’t see their own biases even when they jump up and take them by the throat. … completely open to exploitation by those who have a vested interest in the status quo – financial, social, pathological ….. None So Deaf As Will Not Hear – even the dead… Read more »
“So men are angry and the people asking the questions are deaf to any response? Oh, they hear the responses but I don’t understand that if they are listening, why there has been no action. Just reading through some of the responses to this article, what came to mind is VAWA and how many were up in arms because it affected GLBT (not sure if that the right acronym) and American Indians. How many years now, have men been saying there is factual data regarding female against male violence? Maybe I missed it somewhere, but did you hear of ANY… Read more »
How many years now, have men been saying there is factual data regarding female against male violence? Odd but just today I was reading about such reports – and how they emerged in the 1970’s – were attacked and kept hidden in a bottom draw ever since …. with other similar reports being added to the stash and hidden. Multiple reports and investigations across multiple countries and cultures have over the last 40 years all come up with the same findings – when you ask gender neutral questions about IPV you get parity. Wjen you only ask women about IPV… Read more »
Well – have celebrity will push agenda. Sir Patrick has become the recent poster boy of Gender Skewed Domestic Violence, so there is no surprise that he’s being trotted out and given air time. That in no way negates his personal experience, or that of his parents – it simply addresses that very large Pink Elephant that is so often ignored – men are Victims and Women Perpetrators too. When will there be a call for even a single women to hold up her hand and say no more to Gender Neutral Domestic abuse-violence. Men are just there to be… Read more »
MediaHound–thanks for balance. I recommend sending your thoughts and the list to the Mayor to alert him to the stereotype that women are the only victims and perhaps the culture of fear that he is perpetuating. That’s not leadership, in my book. DV is serious, but it goes both ways. Politicians need to engage in balanced discourse, because they are not listening to 50% of the population.
He said it in his bio, he believes “men need to confront men about violence”…nows your chance.
So, in a way, I can partially agree with the article. It IS time for men to talk to other men about violence. For example, the violence done TO men. Let’s confront other people with the facts of men being victimized in their relationships. Why aren’t we doing more to stop violence against men?
“So, in a way, I can partially agree with the article. It IS time for men to talk to other men about violence. For example, the violence done TO men.”
We can and should always agree that DV against women be stopped. Additionally, we should insist that it be stopped against men as well. It night be a little more than 50% of we look at things in that light.