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I recently came across a Henry Thoreau quote which says, “if a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
I began learning drums from 7 years of age. I’ve been playing in various guises ever since. Sometimes I’ve put it down for a while, but I always seem to return to that primal beat. I love playing, always have, and always will.
There have been times when playing drums brings me alive and lights me up. When I get into that groove or rhythm, it just makes sense to my whole being. I’ve felt the same even just listening to great music.
I recently joined a band and am reminded that drumming is just something I was born to do. It comes naturally and I love it. It doesn’t matter that there have been dry spells because it always comes back. It puts a smile on my face, and dare I say, a smile on the face of others.
Marching to the beat of your own drum means something different to each of us. You don’t need to be a drummer or play an instrument to feel the beat of life pulsing within you. It’s whatever lights you up. It might be building cars, taking photographs, sliding down the face of a wave, designing technology or cooking up a storm.
When I am behind a drum kit doing my thing, I’m not sitting there wishing I was the guitarist, or the singer, or the sound engineer. In a band, we each have a role to play, and one compliments the other.
When you know your thing, you can sit right in the groove and deliver your gift. It’s the same in life. It’s the same in relationships. It’s the same for each and every one of us. The beat within you is the rhythm of life. It’s your essence and energy. But it takes getting quiet to be able to hear it.
It’s when I lose that rhythm for too long that things go haywire. It’s when I am not walking to the beat of my own drum, that things get funky, and I don’t mean like Jamiroquai.
When that happens, it might be that I am seeking my worth from external sources, other people, or not staying in my own lane. Maybe I’m not practicing what I know is my gift. Maybe I am not showing up the way that I know I can. Maybe I am cruising in 3rd gear. Maybe I am just being plain lazy. Maybe I have completely screwed up. Or maybe I’ve been knocked off course by things beyond my control. I know I have done and experienced all these things.
Don’t bring shame on yourself if you have gotten off track. But whatever the case, and it’s always the case, I need to get back to me, back to my own rhythm, back to my own beat. It’s not about individualism and screw everyone else. It’s about me being me, so that I can be my best for others also.
Meditation can help. Journaling can help. Talking to a therapist can help. Facing your own shadows can help. But ultimately, it comes down to knowing who you are and being ok with that. In fact, it is much more than just being ok, it is embracing every part of you, with acceptance, love, and grace.
It’s being kind to yourself whilst being honest. To slip in a baseball analogy, it’s stepping up to the plate, bat in hand, ready to face whatever ball comes down at you.
From the age of 8, I knew the power of music as I rocked out privately in my bedroom. At 12 I was in a marching band. At 14 I can still remember the exhilaration of watching an AC/DC video clip. At 17 I saw my first live rock band. At 18 I played my first gig. So, it was no surprise that at 21, I left a fulltime job to go play music. I have been in various bands on and off ever since. In 2012 I experienced the power of ‘sound healing’ and started to explore how I could bring drums into that.
Now at 53, as really at any age, the theme has been allowing the rhythm of life to guide me, as it always has.
The late Dr Wayne Dyer had this to say: “Be sure you’re stepping to the music you hear—no matter what other people think. It’s crucial to remain independent of both the positive and negative opinions of other people. If you gain their approval, you’ll become a slave to outside words of praise. If you gain disfavour, you’ll spend your life trying to change other people’s minds about you. Either way, you lose your selfhood. If you want to follow your passion, be independent of the opinions of others. Give yourself permission to two-step, march, waltz, or boogie to your own beat.”
I wonder what it has been or is for you? What beat do you walk to? What lights you up? What gift has been given to you, that you can share with the world around you? Don’t worry about keeping pace with others. Step to the music that you hear and live the life that you were born to live.
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