A year ago, my love and I hiked the stunning Black Balsam Knob in North Carolina to exchange vows and officially become Mr & Mrs. Standing on top of that mountain surrounded by such breath-taking beauty made our special day magical.
It was to be the first of the many adventures we planned to take during our marriage. Adventure was the theme of our wedding and we wanted it to be the theme of our life together.
Our goal was to travel as much as we could fit into our lives and budget as a family of four. While we had taken a few trips with the kids during our first year of marriage, to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, we planned a romantic trip to Charleston, South Carolina.
Just the two of us.
I spent months scrolling through Pinterest and pinning so many amazing places to eat, drink, shop and explore. We were so excited to spend a few days soaking in all the history and beauty Charleston has to offer.
The day was going to start with breakfast at Millers All Day. Being the Millers, beginning our anniversary day eating at the popular cafe, buying matching Millers All Day t-shirts and taking fun pictures in their photo booth was going to be so cute and perfect.
We booked a professional photographer to capture our special day around the gorgeous historic downtown area. It was definitely a splurge to hire a photographer, but the photoshoot was going to be our anniversary gift to each other, and we couldn’t wait for what we knew were going to be stunning pictures to love for a lifetime.
We rented a trendy apartment two blocks off the famous King Street. We looked forward spending our time walking and bicycling to the many shops, restaurants, and rooftop bars I had been drooling over and dreaming about.
Halfway through March, we began to worry. I tried to stay optimistic and naively crossed my fingers, still full of hope about how the coronavirus would affect us. It was an optimism that many of us still held onto in early March.
By the end of March, it became painfully obvious that life as we all knew it was coming to a grinding halt.
The world shut down.
Life shut down.
My husband was furloughed, the kids were going to virtual school. There was not going to be any vacation now and possibly not for very long time.
I felt too broken to be mad. And who on earth could I be mad at anyway? There was no one to blame for what was happening. But I was sad and disappointed.
So many people I know have had to cancel special plans. Birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, vacations, celebrations all gone in an instant. I am not alone in this I know, but it doesn’t take away my own sadness.
I’m just sad for all of us really.
My husband and I had to celebrate somehow though. We couldn’t just ignore the fact that it was our first wedding anniversary. Like everyone else during this pandemic, we had to come up with a way, no matter how small, to acknowledge the day, to celebrate and honor the occasion.
We live in North Florida and our mayor recently opened up the beaches. The rest of the country thinks it’s insane and has the wrong idea about what that looks like right now, but those of us that live here understand.
We packed some snacks, loaded up our bikes and drove 20 minutes to the beach. Our plan was to bike ride for a bit in the sea air and sunshine and maybe find a spot to enjoy a bite and the two cans of wine and hard cider I brought.
Our mayor only opened the beaches during certain hours, 6 am to 11 am and then 5 pm to 8 pm. The purpose is to allow residents to get exercise. You can walk, bike ride, or swim. You cannot bring a cooler, put down a blanket or chairs and camp out. It’s no different than walking or biking around any neighborhood.
Except this neighborhood has the therapeutic beauty of the sand, sun, and sea.
But in our excitement to head to the ocean, we forgot about the time limitations. We rode our bikes down to the empty beach at 11:30 am. Thirty minutes past the morning closing time. A police officer met us on the sand and politely informed us that the beach was closed until 5 pm.
They aren’t playing around.
We were disappointed and mad at ourselves for not paying attention to the time. We looked longingly at the ocean and soaked in its beautiful sight and smell for a minute, snapped a quick picture, and turned our bikes around.
We had to settle for biking around the neighborhood instead, the ocean view mostly obscured by the homes and buildings lucky enough to claim space next to the sand.
We tried to make the best of it.
Happily, we discovered a local ice cream shop was open. We followed the “only one party inside at a time” rule and made our purchase after chatting with the sole person running the store.
“Business has been great,” he told us. “Everyone always wants ice cream.”
We sat on the bench outside of the shop and enjoyed our treat. It wasn’t downtown Charleston but sitting in the sunshine with the sounds of the ocean behind us wasn’t exactly terrible.
Later that evening, my husband made us a special anniversary dinner, surf and turf with our favorite wine. We dressed up. No sweats and t-shirts allowed. I did my hair and put on makeup. After six weeks of being at home, I’d forgotten how nice I could look.
The kids ate dinner in their rooms upstairs so we could have the allusion of privacy. We enjoyed our dinner, exchanged cards (the first anniversary is paper after all) and watched our wedding video.
We may have gotten a little teary-eyed reliving the beauty of our special day.
It wasn’t the adventure we had planned. It definitely wasn’t the romantic celebration we had envisioned for our first anniversary.
But in this new normal, in this alternate reality, we are living in, we made the best of what we had to work with.
These days, we are all being forced to strip away the excess of our lives and focus on what we are left with. When it’s all gone, what do we still have? What really matters?
Am I upset that we missed our special first-anniversary trip and celebration? Of course. I’d be lying if I claimed otherwise.
But I am incredibly grateful for what I do have.
My health. My family.
And most of all love.
—
Previously published on Medium.com.
—
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Meghanrolfephotography.com