You know the scenario, a young lady is hanging out in the woods with her vertically challenged friends. Then, a mirror tells a mean old lady she’s a 6 out of 10, while the one in the woods is a 10; cue the nuclear meltdown. To even the score, the old lady poisons the young lady in the woods with a deliciously cursed apple…as you do…I guess.
The young lady falls into a deep sleep, awaiting the kiss of Prince Charming to break the spell. Low and behold, Prince Charming sniffs out where this cursed lady in the woods is sleeping. He breaks the spell and they live happily ever after. Supernormal stuff, right?
What’s real?
These are the types of stories we’re spoon-fed as children. Change some of the characters around, sprinkle in a plot twist or two, but they are all pretty much the same. They’re nice and clean and packed with a pretty bow, but they aren’t real.
Reality is knowing happily ever after is messy, ugly, scary, and also hypnotically exhilarating.
Real happily ever after comes after drunken arguments about stupid things, followed by hungover mornings of biscuits, gravy, and apologies. It shines through when insecurities try to darken our thoughts. When you’re too exhausted to take the fucking dog out, happily ever after gives you a little boost to get it done, because it makes the person you love smile.
Fairy tales have muddied the idea of what it takes to live happily ever after. We don’t get to see Prince Charming and the sorta-dead-but-not-anymore girl get into their first argument about how to load the dishwasher or wash clothes the “right” way. We don’t get to see how they persevere when life gets hard.
I don’t think the happily ever after we see in fairy tales would stand a chance. I think the happily ever after we see in fairy tales would run away with its tail tucked between its legs, instead of having the real conversations about real problems.
My happily ever after
I found my happily ever after. It isn’t the type I was told about as a kid. It’s hard sometimes, but then it’s the most immensely gratifying thing possible. That’s what makes it perfect.
Our happily ever after is something me and my partner work at constantly. It’s what pushes us to keep showing up, to keep growing, to keep moving forward. You won’t find our happily ever after in a fairy tale, but that’s because it’s not the only place it exists.
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Previously published on Gofindyourhappy.net.
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