Editors: False accusations are quite unusual and rarely, if ever, lead to serious consequences for the falsely accused. To better understand this, please read the article linked below.
What kind of person makes false rape accusations?
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Being sexually harassed on the job for any woman or man is a traumatic ordeal. However, there is another side to this issue, and that’s when a person in power is falsely accused of sexual harassment. And that can be very traumatic and damaging too.
Whether you are a man or a woman, the owner, supervisor, manager or executive in a company, you are going to be working closely with staff members. You are a person in power to your them and as a result, you could be subject to false allegations of misconduct. As owner of my company and chairman of the board of several non-profits, I have had false accusations of sexual harassment leveled against me on three separate occasions over my 30 years of service. It caused me and my loved ones a significant amount of pain and embarrassment.
In all three instances, the accusations against me were found to be false. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t subject to temporary restrictions placed on me in my own company, had gossip and false innuendo spread about me, and had to explain to my significant other and loved ones what happened. I found myself demoralized, having trouble concentrating, unable to work at my normal level, unable to sleep and it took me quite a while to recover after the ordeal was over. There was also the fear that vendors, customers or the press might find out what I was accused of, resulting in devastating consequences for my business and my reputation.
Fortunately, in my case, I had taken steps in advance that allowed me to prove that I had acted properly. So here are a few suggestions on how to protect yourself in the case you ever are falsely accused of sexual harassment.
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Do Due Diligence on All Hires: The individual that falsely accuses typically has done this or other types of criminal behavior before, or are mentally unstable, or are looking for revenge or an alibi for their own bad behavior. Therefore, it’s worthwhile to spend time and effort to check references and the work history of anyone you bring into your company. This is true for most employment issues too. When I consult companies, I often get asked the question of how to improve the quality and productivity of their staff. I usually respond by telling them to start by hiring better quality people.
Have a 3rd Person in the Room: In my 30 years in business, I would try to avoid any alone time with staff that I wasn’t 100% sure of their loyalty or commitment to the company. That meant no alone meetings with newer employees or even employees that were not performing well. If I needed to have a difficult discussion with a staff member, my HR director was always in the room with me. And this rule applies whether the person you are engaging is male or female.
Be Appropriate With Inviting Staff Out: Obviously, inviting a staff member to a strip club or his and her massages are likely to get you in trouble. But there are more subtle mistakes you can make that can cause trouble for you too. Make sure you treat all staff members equally when taking people out and pick appropriate venues close to work and preferably during business hours. Taking a staff member out to a very expensive restaurant, two hours away at 8 pm on a Friday night, is probably not a good idea. If you want to reward staff with after work dining or entertainment, it’s best to bring one or more co-workers along. I would bring my significant other and invite my staff member to do the same, if I just wanted to take that one person out.
Keep All Communication Forever: Keep every piece of communication with staff including letters, emails, and personal notes forever in an organized and easy to locate manner. One of my accusers, after she was fired by one of my managers, claimed that I had asked her out for coffee and tried to get her to put her personal belongings in my warehouse when she was hired. Even if it were true, that alone would not be considered sexual harassment. However, I was able to show she was not telling the truth when I produced two-year-old emails indicating she had asked me out for coffee and asked me the favor of storing her stuff in my warehouse. Neither of which took place.
Stay Away From the Line: This is not 1925, 1945 or even 1995. It’s 2017 and the things you say and send can and will be used against you. Avoid all references to sexual matters, personal appearance, or other non-business topics. That political meme you are sending may be appropriate in the context of a verbal conversation you have had with another staff member, but when viewed by itself may be considered over the line of appropriate. As an example, imagine a man sending a screenshot of Anthony Weiner’s infamous tweet to a female co-worker with the message, “He’s a jerk-off. No way is he going to be mayor of New York.” I think it’s clear how that could be viewed as sexual in nature. And keep in mind, assume anything you send or post electronically lasts forever.
Document All Negative Interactions: If you have a negative interaction with a staff member, immediately document it thoroughly and send it to your HR department or put it in the employee’s file. I had a disagreement with a newly hired graphic designer at my company where I told her to design a marketing piece a certain way and she insisted that it be her way. She told me she has a design degree and I don’t know what I am doing. I told her to do it my way anyway and she ended up quitting at the end of the week accusing me of sexually harassing her. I had already documented the incident, including putting both versions of the marketing piece in her file. It exposed the lie she told about the nature of our conversation.
Don’t Do It: Ok, this is obvious, but the best defense starts with the truth. Always act with high moral and ethical standards when interacting with people in a work environment. Apply the mother rule and ask yourself if your mom would 100% approve of any actions you are taking. If she wouldn’t, then don’t do whatever you were thinking of doing.
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My experience has shown me that the best way to defend yourself against the potentially devastating consequences of having a false sexual harassment claim leveled against you is to be like a Boy Scout and always “Be Prepared.”
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I also notice the editors here felt it necessary to include the statement “False accusations are quite unusual and rarely, if ever, lead to serious consequences for the falsely accused.” I really think a statement like that requires some kind of citation. All I have are anecdotes. Many over the decades. So I can’t provide anything like solid statistics. But it’s also my understanding that there are now groups you can join that help men try to put their lives back together after being victimized by such false accusations. If, indeed, there are “rarely, if ever” any serious consequences, why… Read more »
Thanks for this. I’ve been following all of this advice for years, as best I can, given I’ve never been a ‘higher-up” in any place I’ve worked, mostly senior technical positions. I was “lucky”. Early in my career, I had a number of co-workers get wiped out by false accusations (where, in a few cases, I witnessed what had actually happened). I figured out much of this myself. Even still, I live and work in constant fear, and I’m not even a prime target, merely a convenient one who just ‘looks’ like that kind of sad, desperate guy who would… Read more »