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The world isn’t very pro-men these days. Let’s face facts. It’s not. I remember one day when I was talking to my counsellor and trying to understand the things that I do from a better perspective. I recall the discussion we were having around the steps that I was taking to better my life. I’ll never forget what she said to me,
“You’re lucky you’re doing this now, Raymond, it’s becoming an increasingly hostile world for young men these days and it’s not going to get easier anytime soon”
I didn’t take any note of it back then because the genders to me have always been inseparable; male, female, I’ve always enjoyed both of their presences and never judged anyone just because they were a certain type. Even when some people were outright vicious to me, I understood that was their personality and nothing to do with their gender.
I remember the time it fully hit me was when I wrote an article on my wife’s pregnancy, which of course I thought was a lovely thing to do, and I was curb-stomped by three women likening my article to a piece of misogynistic pile of trash. Reading my article made them want to violently throw up. Now don’t get me wrong, I could see why they didn’t like it, and my views have definitely changed since then, but it’s the first time I had ever been called a sexist. I was sort of scratching my head at this because I had always thought of myself as a feminist and being the curious man that I am I delved deeper into myself. I can see why they would think that though; my views on my personal marriage are somewhat traditional with a modern twist.
Nevertheless, I sort-of have night-sweats over my Son. He’s so sweet and innocent and full of naive joy for the world that I worry how this whole ‘men are broken’ view on the world will affect him when he’s older. I’m scared because I know it’s personally affecting me as an adult. The amount of stuff that I’m coming across and reading these days that’s so toxic and poisonous for young boys is frightening. That tell them they are broken. That tell them they need fixed. That tell them they are everything but normal. And the backlash to this is horrendous. MGTOW; I really don’t want to lose my son to those people.
You know what helped me in life?
When I found out that I was fine just the way I was. When I began to accept me for me. I am flawed, and so be it.
It was then that I stopped trying to match up with the media ideals of the perfect man. It’s was then that I stopped trying to match up to the group-think of men. You know? When one lad gets out his HUGE willy in the changing rooms, slaps it on the table for all to see and proceeds to tell us how many women he’s ‘fucked’. 99% of men in the room now feel less of men and think this is standard. But it’s not. Us men come in all weird and wonderful sizes and there’s no shape fits all.
I let all my anger go too. I had so much pent up anger, but it wasn’t from what you think. Media will tell you that it was my lack of acceptance and constant rejection in the dating arena that made me a sexually frustrated and very angry young man, but that wasn’t the case at all. I was scared of rejection yes, and the few times that I asked a woman out I was frustrated that she told me no, yes. My anger didn’t stem from there though. It was so much deeper than that. My anger and lack of self-confidence came from a life-time of rejection from my father and my friends, and a lifetime of my mother never taking me seriously and doing everything for me. I was never empowered to own any of my achievements or be independent. This is why I couldn’t get a date. And this is what we’re missing. This is the key ingredient my friends. If you want healthy and accepting men in society then you first need healthy parenting, or at least the educational tools to help men be better representations of themselves.
I’ll be trying my damnedest to do so with my son. I hope other men with sons reading this will do the same too; think about how the way communication, internet, and society is laid out for our sons to see. Does it empower them to make good decisions? Or does it make them feel broken? This is a choice that you have to make. I’m forever telling my Son that the way he feels is fine. Often, he’ll come to me and ask me why he feels a certain way, and 99% of the time I can tell him why, but at every point I tell him that what he’s feeling is perfectly natural. Feelings are natural. Being a boy is natural. I don’t want him to be frustrated because he can’t process his emotions.
And that’s the way it should be 🙂
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