Every week I do a column full of comic book reviews as I've done since March 2003 and currently published at Comic Book Resources. Then, after the reviews post, I try to come over to Komplicated and expand on the thoughts and ideas listed there. Why talk about stuff at some other site? Oh, like you've never done any private projects when you're at work! Sometimes things get profound, sometimes it's gibberish, but it's always about comics … let's see what we get this week!
What? This week's reviews and last week's reviews …
DOUBLE DOWN: More tracks. More writing. No excuses. Let's go.
ONE MO' 'GIN: I typoed in the column this week. The Buy Pile started in March 2003, not 2006 as noted. Sorry about that. Anyway, happy anniversary and thanks for riding with a brother.
DISASSEMBLED: G.I. Joe. The Avengers. The Justice League of America. All of them are showcasing stories with a great deal of emotional tang and bite based on one key commonality: the good guys are not very good at their job. As a culture, we've come to be enamored with slashing at feet of clay when our "heroes" fail to be perfect. For example, his huge body count notwithstanding, has any American president endured slings and arrows as egregious as this? To be called a liar on the floor of Congress? In times such as these, hypercompetent protagonists turn off the buying public (*cough*Mister Terrific*cough*) while ones who stumble and flail seem to survive (*cough*Batwing*cough*Red Hood*cough*).
As such, it seems like more and more heroes spend more time getting punched in the face. Spider-Man sad sacked it up for a long time, but to see Superman struggling to run into orbit and Luke Skywalker diving out of an exploding spaceship … it's something else. Not really my cup of tea — when everybody is good at what they do, watching the struggle is elevated.
SOMETHING'S FISHY: Apparently, Aquaman is teaming up with Snake Eyes.
Not really … or kind of, based on a preview at CBR of a new DC character called "The Operative."
Before I ever started my website, there was a video game named The Operative, so I know I don't hold any great claim to the word, but this leapt out to me as interesting because it's such an unimaginative take.
My ego had a moment's pause when Marvel recently debuted a character called "The Operative" in Mystery Men … a fedora wearing, suit and tie guy crusading for justice.
Ahem.
This image was made in 2002, based on ideas I had from my original Operative Network website, launched in 1999. Even then, it wasn't exactly a new idea …
… but I at least thought it was a nice twist on things. Now? It's almost a cliche. "Operatives" aping appearances, low brims over mysterious eyes … am I saying these are Swipe File cases? No. I … just think it's funny. Easy to think when one is a megalomaniac.
NO REFRIGERATORS AVAILABLE: So, if you didn't read it, Justice League International had some … well, … let's do a [SPOILER ALERT] before we get into it …
…
…
…
…
… hang on …
…
…
…
Okay.
The UN got blown up, paralyzing and/or maiming Ice (Tora), Fire (Beatriz) and Vixen (Mari). The latest, wackiest Rocket Red yet, Gavril, also took his talents to wherever dead Russians go. Unscathed: Booster, Batman, Guy Gardner, August General in Iron. At fault: some hired hand light based villain with as much characterization as you can find on the thin panels of a cereal box.
Why all the killin' and blastin' (apologies to Xzibit)? To galvanize Booster's heroism. Not that all that "struggling to save his dead best friend through hundreds of timelines in his own series" did anything — that's not New 52, son! Again, women and people of color are made props for the interests of some white male protagonist. Exhausting and sad.
NO H8: Maybe what happened to those poor ladies caused a kind of backlash effect. How? We'll get to that shortly.
Yesterday's issue of Avengers: The Children's Crusade #9 was a big deal for a lot of people based on showing a same-sex kiss between two teenaged heroes. This is a big thing for a marginalized population and an important step towards equality in popular fiction.
Unfortunately, it happened in a comic book that was terrible.
Gotta toss in a [SPOILER ALERT] here, in case people haven't and/or want to read it …
…
…
…
…
…
… ready?
…
…
…
Here we go.
The Scarlet Witch has a huge, huge body count on her hands after her "no more mutants" line, the House of ATM, er, House of M crossover and what not. She's got a power level that would make Franklin Richards nod appreciatively (lotsa blood on his sticky little kid hands too) and about as much control as a car on the iOS version of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (seriously, touch screen driving stinks). So, instead of her, oh, I don't know, being tried for the many, many, many deaths she's directly responsible for, Cyclops instead posited this …
"Better she should spend what's left of her life trying to make up for what she's done, knowing it will never be enough, knowing she will never be forgiven, knowing I will end her life myself when it happens again, because it will happen again …"
Wait. Stop. Hang on. Stop everything. Scott Summers acknowledges that Wanda will kill again but instead of, oh, I don't know, stopping her or what not, he proposes she walk around in a mopey, unforgiven state until it happens and then he'll kill her.
WHAT THE WORLD WIDE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?????? This is anti-heroism. It's a mockery in the face of all the M-Town mutants dead, all the broken lives left around Wanda's carelessness. It essentially makes Wanda the Lindsay Lohan of comics. "Yes, she did all this stuff wrong, but we're not gonna punish her for it." Why, cleavage? "Oh, sorry DC shoved Kyle Rayner's girlfriend in a fridge and then blew up and maimed all the ladies in Justice League International, let's give the mass murdering redhead a pass."
No. Emphatically, enthusiastically, irrevocably … no.
In the immortal words of Onyx, "bu-bu-bu-but wait, it gets worse!" Steve Rogers, Captain America, titular head of all super law enforcement in these United States, doesn't whip out the cuffs and say, "not on my watch, punk!" He doesn't (reasonably) try to take her in and make an almost LOGICAL rationale for an Avengers vs. X-Men throwdown. No. Steve says this:
"You know you have a home with us here."
Given the battering the Avengers have received in the court of public opinion, thanks to Wonder Man (who's also, inexplicably, here all hugs and comforting) and Norman Osborn, what better move would there be than to offer free room and board with no consequences to a mass murderer?
WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCHLITZ MALT LIQUOR IS HAPPENING HERE?????
Easily one of the biggest affronts to common sense in months, maybe years. Essentially, the rules are different for you, Wanda Maximoff, you busty weapon of mass destruction you. Our quest for 'justice" ends right when it comes to somebody we've shared pigs in a blanket with. Every lawyer in the Marvel universe should use this as freaking precedent forever. So deeply stupid.
Nice that those two kids can finally express their love though. That was nice. It seemed like it happened in a completely different comic book from the rest of the pages … and honestly, it should have. A way better comic book.
CURRENT: In lighter news, Marc Bernardin stepped in on the penultimate issue of Static Shock and recognized his deficits, fixing them on the fly. To whit …
"First draft was 'Why do I always sound like a Bell Biv Devoe song when I talk to girls?' And then I realized I was an old man."
Hilarious. Thinking about Virgil's humor and rich inner life is a crucial element of the character. The last issue's out next month.
THAT'S THE NEWS, AND I AM OUTTA HERE: Two weeks of comments jammed in here, kids. You're welcome.
Playing (Music): "Ego" by Beyonce Knowles feat. Kanye West
[Source: Comic Book Resources]