John Green messes up his lines, and hijinks ensues on the CCWH set.
Transcript Provided by YouTube:
Hi, I’m John Green, this is Crash Couse World History, and today we’re going to make it
rain! We’re going to talk about money, the stuff that makes the world go ’round.
What? Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know how to make it rain. Do I have to do it again?
(bleep) What do I do? I do like… yeah? And then just be like…
Offscreen: Yup. Exactly.
Okay. This is such a stupid joke.
Offscreen: That’s how it’s done.
Come on, Marc. You’re better than that. You’re better than that, Marc!
The Congo. Wow! What the (bleep)
The end of humanity.
Really good and terrible!
What is the, uh, what do I say before the Open Letter?
Right, but what do I say to get there?
We’re going to focus on Eth…Nope!
We’re going to focus on… Nope.
Cue the swiss-tage. Nope. Cue the swiss-tage. Nope.
But World War Wone… (mumbling) World War Wone?
Minister Katoya (to himself) Katoya? Katiya? Katillia?
An agressively Ilamic… Ilamic?
…by Wolfgang Schvievelbutch! Schievelbusch! Schievelbush!
Coins, with a standard size and weight… I-I-I did this thing, which is probably not
Probably shouldn’t have done that particular gesture.
He looks at Middle Easterner Sayi Jamal Alif al-Afghani, Ling Chi Cao from China, and Rab
– (laughs) We got to do this as three shots. There’s no other way.
Malthus, Malthus’ essat, Malthuseses, Malthus?
Offscreen: Malthus’s essay, yeah.
Yeah. This essay..
Anybody with a pow… With a pow?
How far off am I?
Offscreen: Sounds pretty empty.
We’re also going to talk about the two most important Mughal emperors, Ackbar and I don’t
know how to say that guy’s name.
Most of the muggle rulers, especially Ackbar and…
Offscreen: You said muggle.
Every episode of Fallen Stars involves a cannon.
That’s the shtick, is that they then get to, like, (air quotes) if it fires, I’ll pay you
thirty thousand. And then they’re like, (buzzing noises) pow. There’s a big explosion, end of show.
I hate myself.
(sneezes) Okay. Sorry, that was really loud for you, I bet.
That made people fear that the Germans were eager for war. Did that sound read at the end?
What? I go to math parties. That’s cool. My point is, dammit, what is my point?
I like to make fun of the English. They’ve earned it.
China would never do that.
Is that too long of a pause?
Does he have another joke? ‘Cause I have another joke. I’m gonna make one more joke. Umm…
I don’t have the joke. Is that a problem?
German peasants in Frisbea had revolted against the empire in 1515. (looks up) What?
Frisia. Frisbea. Frisbee. The land of Frisbees!
Offscreen: Yeah, that’s where they were invented.
Ruling over… (laughs) It’s like how you can only call champagne “champagne” if it
comes from Champagne.
Offscreen: Otherwise it’s a flying disc.
Not to be confused with the lost archy of the covenant. Did I sell it?
Stan: No. It was very hesitant. It’s fine.
A famine in Guangdong claimed the lives of as many as… (sighs) I got through Guandong
and then couldn’t get through “of as many as.”
The Rwandan genocide of 1994 is familiar to many Americans, often as an example of the
importance of American power in the face of post-Cold War problems.
Offscreen: Let’s say imitates (?)
Uhh… (laughs) Let’s.
We’ll continue our discussion of war next week. See you then. (laughs)
Offscreen: It’s a little too long a pause maybe
Thanks to you for watching, as we say in my hometown, don’t forget to be awesome.
Woop! Oh, that was hard. Nobody’s injured.
This post was previously published on YouTube.
Photo credit: Screenshot from video.