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John Green messes up his lines, and hijinks ensues on the CCWH set.
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Transcript Provided by YouTube:
00:00
Hi, I’m John Green, this is Crash Couse World History, and today we’re going to make it
00:05
rain! We’re going to talk about money, the stuff that makes the world go ’round.
00:12
It’s good.
00:14
What? Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know how to make it rain. Do I have to do it again?
00:23
Offscreen: Yes.
00:24
(bleep) What do I do? I do like… yeah? And then just be like…
00:38
Like this?
00:41
Offscreen: Yup. Exactly.
00:43
Okay. This is such a stupid joke.
00:46
Offscreen: That’s how it’s done.
00:47
All right.
00:48
Come on, Marc. You’re better than that. You’re better than that, Marc!
00:51
The Congo. Wow! What the (bleep)
00:56
The end of humanity.
00:59
Really good and terrible!
01:03
What is the, uh, what do I say before the Open Letter?
01:06
Right, but what do I say to get there?
01:08
We’re going to focus on Eth…Nope!
01:10
We’re going to focus on… Nope.
01:12
Cue the swiss-tage. Nope. Cue the swiss-tage. Nope.
01:16
But city-shapes…Bla.
01:17
But World War Wone… (mumbling) World War Wone?
01:20
Minister Katoya (to himself) Katoya? Katiya? Katillia?
01:24
An agressively Ilamic… Ilamic?
01:28
…by Wolfgang Schvievelbutch! Schievelbusch! Schievelbush!
01:33
Coins, with a standard size and weight… I-I-I did this thing, which is probably not
01:39
Probably shouldn’t have done that particular gesture.
01:41
He looks at Middle Easterner Sayi Jamal Alif al-Afghani, Ling Chi Cao from China, and Rab
01:46
– (laughs) We got to do this as three shots. There’s no other way.
01:51
Offscreen: Malthuseseses.
01:52
Malthus, Malthus’ essat, Malthuseses, Malthus?
01:56
Offscreen: Malthus’s essay, yeah.
01:59
Yeah. This essay..
02:00
Anybody with a pow… With a pow?
02:02
How far off am I?
02:05
Hold on.
02:07
Offscreen: Sounds pretty empty.
02:09
It is.
02:17
We’re also going to talk about the two most important Mughal emperors, Ackbar and I don’t
02:21
know how to say that guy’s name.
02:25
Most of the muggle rulers, especially Ackbar and…
02:27
Offscreen: You said muggle.
02:29
Mughal. Moogol.
02:31
Every episode of Fallen Stars involves a cannon.
02:33
That’s the shtick, is that they then get to, like, (air quotes) if it fires, I’ll pay you
02:37
thirty thousand. And then they’re like, (buzzing noises) pow. There’s a big explosion, end of show.
02:42
I hate myself.
02:51
(sneezes) Okay. Sorry, that was really loud for you, I bet.
02:54
That made people fear that the Germans were eager for war. Did that sound read at the end?
02:58
What? I go to math parties. That’s cool. My point is, dammit, what is my point?
03:01
I like to make fun of the English. They’ve earned it.
03:03
China would never do that.
03:06
Oh, wait.
03:07
Is that too long of a pause?
03:08
Does he have another joke? ‘Cause I have another joke. I’m gonna make one more joke. Umm…
03:12
I don’t have the joke. Is that a problem?
03:15
German peasants in Frisbea had revolted against the empire in 1515. (looks up) What?
03:20
Offscreen: Frisia.
03:20
Frisia. Frisbea. Frisbee. The land of Frisbees!
03:24
Offscreen: Yeah, that’s where they were invented.
03:25
Ruling over… (laughs) It’s like how you can only call champagne “champagne” if it
03:30
comes from Champagne.
03:31
Offscreen: Otherwise it’s a flying disc.
03:32
Exactly.
03:36
Not to be confused with the lost archy of the covenant. Did I sell it?
03:40
Stan: No. It was very hesitant. It’s fine.
03:43
A famine in Guangdong claimed the lives of as many as… (sighs) I got through Guandong
03:47
and then couldn’t get through “of as many as.”
03:49
The Rwandan genocide of 1994 is familiar to many Americans, often as an example of the
03:53
importance of American power in the face of post-Cold War problems.
03:58
Offscreen: Let’s say imitates (?)
04:00
Uhh… (laughs) Let’s.
04:05
We’ll continue our discussion of war next week. See you then. (laughs)
04:10
Offscreen: It’s a little too long a pause maybe
04:13
Thanks to you for watching, as we say in my hometown, don’t forget to be awesome.
04:16
Woop! Oh, that was hard. Nobody’s injured.
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video.