Stick a fork in the Good Men Picks bracket. It’s DONE.
Yep, last night UConn knocked off our national champion, San Diego State. As of now, we only have one remaining Final Four team (UNC), and even if they upset Ohio State and make it to Houston, we won’t care.
So, apparently San Diego State’s kryptonite is playing against a team with one really, really, ridiculously good player. That’ll do it. Well, that, and an absurd technical foul, horrible free-throw shooting, mistimed fouling, terrible shot choices, and foolish attempts at alley-oops. But I’m not bitter or anything.
With San Diego State eliminated and Duke up on Arizona at halftime, there really wasn’t much to get excited about with the NCAA tournament. As the second half of Duke-Arizona began, a friend—an imaginary one, of course—texted me, “So who are u rooting for now? Marquette? I’m out of ideas.” Usage of the letter U as a pronoun notwithstanding, the thought of having to root for Marquette is damn depressing.
Thankfully, that karma thing finally happened.
Duke loses. The world rejoices.
Here’s an idea, if there’s ever a disagreement—in Congress, with your brother, between your grandma and the cashier at Rite-Aid, whatever—I have a way to fix it. We’ll just show the disagreeing parties a video of Duke losing in the NCAA tournament, and the argument will automatically solve itself.
As Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky tweeted:
Nothing brings this country together like Duke getting beaten down on national TV. Twitter is a thing of beauty right now.
And DJ Gallo of the Sports Pickle wrote:
The Duke Blue Devils were knocked out of the NCAA Tournament in the Sweet 16 on Thursday night, bringing the 2011 tournament to an early—but wildly successful—end.
Regardless of how terrible your bracket looks right now, you are happy, knowing that Duke won’t be back until next year (when, of course, they’re expected to have some kind of superhuman team that will beat both of the teams from Space Jam). Either that, or you’re a Duke fan. And if that’s the case, I do not feel bad for you.
The Jimmer goes out with a whimper.
He hit this to give BYU some hope:
But then he chucked up that same shot like fifteen more times and, obviously, none of them went in. BYU lost to Florida 83-74 in overtime. Jimmer didn’t score a point in the extra period.
It’s kind of an empty end to this whole Jimmer thing. They’re out and … um … well … I guess that’s it. But maybe that’s best. We made it out to be something bigger than it was. Unless BYU won the national title and Jimmer then ascended through the roof of Reliant Stadium and into the heavens, the ending was always gonna be a disappointment.
Now we get to listen to people get really angry about whether or not Jimmer has a pro career for the next three months. Wake me up if the Knicks draft him.
Oh, and if Florida wins the national championship, will anyone hear it? Are we sure they’re actually even playing in the NCAA tournament? Can we ever be sure of anything? OK, I’ll stop.
The Butler did it!
Sorry, I just really wanted to be the one that officially killed that headline. Anyway, Butler is on the verge of their second straight Final Four. They’d be the only team from last year to make it again. Thus, by the transitive property—which decides any and all arguments, ever—Butler is the best basketball program in the country … if they beat Florida.
President Obama is still better than all of us.
Yes, the Prez only has two Final Four teams left, but that’s better than most. His bracket is in the 99.8th percentile, sitting at 9,543 out of 5.9 million. But I’m sure there’s a way to take this and make him look like a really terrible president, horrible person, and a stand-in for the lizard people that truly control all of the world’s most powerful enterprises. If you can think of one, let me know.
—Photo AP/Jae C. Hong