Our post on hegemonic heterosexuality is proving popular, so I thought I’d provide a link to a site full of people who are fighting the hegemony by enjoying Valentine’s Day on… let’s say different terms. Enjoy!
Occupy Valentine’s Day By Katie Amatruda, LMFT and Trauma Therapist I feel assaulted wherever I turn by clichéd images of love – buy flowers, candy, diamonds, sexy underwear, even cell phones – to show love. Buy, buy, buy! Love, love, love! I say Bah Humbug! News blast – a lot of us are single, and are not going to be celebrating Valentine’s Day. So, Let’s occupy V-Day, and take this $17.6 billion* day away from Madison Avenue and make it our own. Valentine’s Day is a commercial day, in which the average person celebrating the holiday will spend $126.03. It… Read more »
Daisy: Yes, Danny, I’m afraid so. I found it terribly embarrassing. A CUPCAKE, forgodsake. Have no women ever given them a present before? I started to think, maybe they hadn’t. Just wanted to ask before I continued. To answer your question that is entirely possible that no woman has every given a present before. Add that to their belief in the idea that a present (oh and there is whole link between a woman cooking something meaning that its from her heart that you probably didn’t know about, probably related to the whole “the way to a man’s heart is… Read more »
Yes, Danny, I’m afraid so. I found it terribly embarrassing. A CUPCAKE, forgodsake. Have no women ever given them a present before?
I started to think, maybe they hadn’t.
Excluding female relatives on standard giftgiving events (Christmas, birthdays, and the like), I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if they *hadn’t* received a gift from a woman without it being a “my flirting was too subtle for you to get the hint, here’s a clearer message” gift. *Especially* around Valentine’s Day.
Young unattached men will go around saying, “Daisy gave me a cupcake!”–like I hit on them, so I quit. Married men only. (Isn’t that sad?)
Question did you actually give them to young unattatched men and that is how it turned out?
Just wondering because as a young unattached man I can easily see this not be the only outcome of such a gift.
Note, my last comment: Nothing AGAINST MEN, BTW, but if you give something to a man on Valentines Day, well, that supposedly means you are in love with them. Otherwise, would be glad to share the cupcakes, and older married men are fine with that.
Young unattached men will go around saying, “Daisy gave me a cupcake!”–like I hit on them, so I quit. Married men only. (Isn’t that sad?)
Agree with Jesus… I liked it when we gave Valentines to everybody as kids. That seemed so innocent… when I grew up and realized we were supposed to only have ONE person as a “Valentine”–I was disappointed forever after. I have always made a point to give Valentines or cupcakes or something to my female friends on Valentines Day and so does my cousin. I don’t know anyone else who does though.
Guest
Jesus_marley
12 years ago
Why does V-Day have be a day that celebrates ONLY romantic love? Sure that is how it has been so far, but does it really need to continue that way? I call on people here to do something different on V-day. Show somebody, anybody that you love them by doing something selfless. Show a complete stranger that you value them as a person by doing something nice for them. Volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. do something that will make a difference in someone else’s life. Let’s re-define V-Day. lets remove the commercialism and make it about other… Read more »
Guest
dancinbojangles
12 years ago
@not me: Heh, yeah, I could kind of tell. I totally agree though that it can suck super hardcore to be single or lonely or both on v-day. Then again, a lot of things that make people happy suck for those who don’t have them. Hmm, maybe like with food drives during Thanksgiving, we could gather hugs and affirmations, and give them out to the needy!
Guest
Not Me
12 years ago
@dancinbojangles: Nothing wrong with having a day to celebrate love. Love’s awesome. (Read this assuming that all instances of “love” below specifically refers to romantic love) Nothing’s wrong with having a day to celebrate births. Births are awesome. Why don’t we have – wait it’s called a birthday. Some people already have a day to celebrate their own loves. It’s called an anniversary. Some people even celebrate two – they day they first got together and the day they married. Is it really so awesome that people need a third day on top of that? What about people who already… Read more »
Guest
dancinbojangles
12 years ago
Hm, there seems to be one side that thinks Valentine’s day should be more open and less commercial, and another that thinks it shouldn’t exist. I definitely agree with the first sentiment, but disagree wholeheartedly with the second. Nothing wrong with having a day to celebrate love. Love’s awesome.
Occupy Valentine’s Day By Katie Amatruda, LMFT and Trauma Therapist I feel assaulted wherever I turn by clichéd images of love – buy flowers, candy, diamonds, sexy underwear, even cell phones – to show love. Buy, buy, buy! Love, love, love! I say Bah Humbug! News blast – a lot of us are single, and are not going to be celebrating Valentine’s Day. So, Let’s occupy V-Day, and take this $17.6 billion* day away from Madison Avenue and make it our own. Valentine’s Day is a commercial day, in which the average person celebrating the holiday will spend $126.03. It… Read more »
@Daisy
Maybe you need to start with them first, so they can see you have a whole basket of cupcakes to distribute.
Daisy: Yes, Danny, I’m afraid so. I found it terribly embarrassing. A CUPCAKE, forgodsake. Have no women ever given them a present before? I started to think, maybe they hadn’t. Just wanted to ask before I continued. To answer your question that is entirely possible that no woman has every given a present before. Add that to their belief in the idea that a present (oh and there is whole link between a woman cooking something meaning that its from her heart that you probably didn’t know about, probably related to the whole “the way to a man’s heart is… Read more »
@Daisy:
Excluding female relatives on standard giftgiving events (Christmas, birthdays, and the like), I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if they *hadn’t* received a gift from a woman without it being a “my flirting was too subtle for you to get the hint, here’s a clearer message” gift. *Especially* around Valentine’s Day.
We DO need to romance and court our men, yes we do!
Yes, Danny, I’m afraid so. I found it terribly embarrassing. A CUPCAKE, forgodsake. Have no women ever given them a present before?
I started to think, maybe they hadn’t. 🙁
Young unattached men will go around saying, “Daisy gave me a cupcake!”–like I hit on them, so I quit. Married men only. (Isn’t that sad?)
Question did you actually give them to young unattatched men and that is how it turned out?
Just wondering because as a young unattached man I can easily see this not be the only outcome of such a gift.
Note, my last comment: Nothing AGAINST MEN, BTW, but if you give something to a man on Valentines Day, well, that supposedly means you are in love with them. Otherwise, would be glad to share the cupcakes, and older married men are fine with that.
Young unattached men will go around saying, “Daisy gave me a cupcake!”–like I hit on them, so I quit. Married men only. (Isn’t that sad?)
Agree with Jesus… I liked it when we gave Valentines to everybody as kids. That seemed so innocent… when I grew up and realized we were supposed to only have ONE person as a “Valentine”–I was disappointed forever after. I have always made a point to give Valentines or cupcakes or something to my female friends on Valentines Day and so does my cousin. I don’t know anyone else who does though.
Why does V-Day have be a day that celebrates ONLY romantic love? Sure that is how it has been so far, but does it really need to continue that way? I call on people here to do something different on V-day. Show somebody, anybody that you love them by doing something selfless. Show a complete stranger that you value them as a person by doing something nice for them. Volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. do something that will make a difference in someone else’s life. Let’s re-define V-Day. lets remove the commercialism and make it about other… Read more »
@not me: Heh, yeah, I could kind of tell. I totally agree though that it can suck super hardcore to be single or lonely or both on v-day. Then again, a lot of things that make people happy suck for those who don’t have them. Hmm, maybe like with food drives during Thanksgiving, we could gather hugs and affirmations, and give them out to the needy!
@dancinbojangles: Nothing wrong with having a day to celebrate love. Love’s awesome. (Read this assuming that all instances of “love” below specifically refers to romantic love) Nothing’s wrong with having a day to celebrate births. Births are awesome. Why don’t we have – wait it’s called a birthday. Some people already have a day to celebrate their own loves. It’s called an anniversary. Some people even celebrate two – they day they first got together and the day they married. Is it really so awesome that people need a third day on top of that? What about people who already… Read more »
Hm, there seems to be one side that thinks Valentine’s day should be more open and less commercial, and another that thinks it shouldn’t exist. I definitely agree with the first sentiment, but disagree wholeheartedly with the second. Nothing wrong with having a day to celebrate love. Love’s awesome.