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A passion for music is one of those things that tend to last a lifetime. Many of us look back over our lives and hear a soundtrack in our heads for our most important moments.
Of course, it’s only natural to want this same passion for your children – but there are other benefits too. Studies show that playing music – especially guitar – can stimulate the connections between the rational left brain and creative right brain, giving your child a head start on creative problem-solving.
However, the advantages don’t have to be just developmental. In fact, a shared love of music can create a strong bond between you and your child.
The Bonding Effects Of Music
In 2018 study, researchers from the University Of Arizona found that parents who share musical experiences with their kids during childhood and adolescence have much stronger relationships in adulthood.
Study co-author Jake Harwood revealed that “if you can successfully listen to music together or share musical experiences with (your children), that has an even stronger effect on your future relationship and the child’s perception of the relationship in emerging adulthood.”
The study found that sharing music with your kids builds your relationship in two ways – through synchronization or coordination, and empathy.
Harwood explains, “If you play music with your parent or listen to music with your parents, you might do synchronized activities like dancing or singing together, and data shows that that causes you to like one another more.”
On Empathy, co-author Sandi Wallace said “a lot of recent research has focused on how emotions can be evoked through music, and how that can perpetuate empathy and empathic responses toward your listening partner”.
Temper Your Expectations
Of course, you’ll want to be mindful of sharing but not imposing music on your kids. As much as you might want them to be as enthusiastic as you are about Brazilian death metal, a three-year-old is more likely to want to listen to nursery rhymes.
Even as your child gets older and you’re able to share more developed music with them –many parents find early common ground with mercurial bands like The Beatles – be open to discovering new music with them and not so focused on having them mirror your tastes.
While there is a wide range of music aimed squarely at kids, they will grow into more adult music as they get older, and that gives you the opportunity to facilitate – not force – their developing tastes.
The Family Band
A great way to develop your musical bond with your child is to play music together. Most kids can bang on a drum from the age they can sit up, and once they reach around four years old you can teach them rudimentary songs on a ukulele. By the age of six they should be ready for a half-sized kid’s guitar, and of course every few years you can upgrade their instrument as they outgrow it.
Giving your kids the opportunity to learn an instrument also sets them up to have positive creative interactions with their friends. Even a simple beginner guitar kit can give your kids all they need to play in starter bands with their friends, and that’s a hobby that can and will last your kids their whole lives.
Of course, your family band isn’t restricted just to stringed instruments. If you and your child share a love of rap, you can practice together at any time and in any place. This is especially suitable for kids who love poetry, and of course, has huge advantages for developing language and vocabulary skills that pay off in many areas of life.
A Word Of Caution
One thing to bear in mind is to use your role as a curator for your child as an opportunity to reflect critically on some of the music you’ve enjoyed over the years, especially where there are messages that you are no longer on board with.
Where you might have “guilty pleasure” albums from your teens that you still love musically but realize the lyrics are no longer socially acceptable, be conscious that when you share this music with your kids, you’re endorsing those messages.
The endless advantages of a shared love of music
Music is a great opportunity to expose your children not just to new sounds but to new ideas too. Treat that opportunity with the care it deserves, and you’ll be rewarded with a strong common bond that will last a lifetime.
As Wallace says, “It’s not to say that this is going to be the prescription for a perfect relationship, but any parent wants to find ways to improve their relationship with their child and make sure that it’s maintained long term, and this may be one way it can be done.”
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This content is brought to you by Brian Kelleher.
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