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With my 14-year-old son’s school prom fast approaching, he has started asking me about mine twenty five years ago. Now to me, this modern day event seems overrated and nothing more than a night created by marketers and social media. When I look back to my childhood I don’t even remember such a thing as the school prom, yes there was the end of year disco if we were lucky with a few balloons and a mix tape playing on the chemistry teachers stereo. There certainly was not six months of hype prior to the event, professional invitations, each attendee having to spend hundreds of pounds on an outfit, specially arranged transport in the form of supercar hire to and from the school, professional photography, flowers and whatever ever else cost inducing items I am yet to be informed about!
I barely had this at my own wedding let alone an end of year school event for teenagers, and what’s worse is he is only in year ten and has another two years left at school, which means we have to repeat the whole event and cost all over again in the coming few years.
Now, this whole situation causes me a dilemma- on the one hand like every dad I want him to experience the best in life and with the pressure of social awareness and fitting in there is a chance if he does not attend he will be seen as an outcast by his peers. But on the other hand there are other parents who share my views and are entertaining the option of boycotting the events due to the expense, but more importantly that they don’t feel their young teenage children are ready for this adult event, after all the non existence of these events during our childhoods have done us no harm- or has it?
It has dawned on me that it may well be that my constant social awkwardness at every work or personal party I attend may be a result of not being introduced to these events as a child, after all, they teach us how to behave and form an opinion in our minds that stay with us throughout life. These events would have made me more sociable instead of the uncomfortable person I find myself to be when I attend weddings and celebrations.
When I mentioned the fact that we were considering missing the prom, he understandably went into meltdown mode and did not speak to me for twenty-four hours. After eventually calming down he took me by surprise and maturely sat me at the kitchen table and in a calm and rational manner explained to me what the school prom meant to him and his friends.
It was at this point I realized just how different times were. Children were growing up and experiencing things at a much earlier age. He argued that the event was a step into adulthood, something my generation did not experience at that age and in fact probably never did until they married.
Very maturely he said that he just wanted to attend and was happy to do so without all the costly trimmings although I think this was a tactic by him to sweeten the deal. But I realized his social acceptance would suffer which would result in unhappiness. Was this something I wanted to directly contribute to? The answer was no, and of course, I agreed to all his “demands”.
As time has gone on and plans have started I have found myself more excited, with the prospect of planning for it, perhaps more than him. I think that I may be generating my own missed experiences and can now see how the annual prom is the new “Christmas” for teenagers.
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This content is sponsored by Mark Snell.
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