We all dream of it. We all dream about finding our perfect match, our soul mate.
At least once in our life, we all met that person we hoped — and believed — was the one, only to realize later we were just projecting our idea of perfect partner onto someone we barely knew.
Finding someone compatible with us is harder than we imagine.
When you meet someone, and you two are meant to be together — that is, you are a great match and there is potential for a healthy and long-lasting relationship — you will see a few signs — which I like to call green flags.
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1. You share the same values.
Sharing the same values is key to long-lasting and healthy relationship. For example, you both believe in monogamy and don’t tolerate infidelity. Or you both believe in the importance of leaving others free to express their opinion and make their choices.
When you and your significant other are aligned on your core values, there is potential for a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
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2. Your life is going in the same direction.
This means you two are basically following the same path — or a very similar one. For example, you both want to work remotely or you both want to travel a lot, so you are working towards achieving the same lifestyle.
Or maybe you both want to live in the same city, grow professionally and raise a family. You are both looking for stability.
Whatever your ideal life is, you have the same idea of fulfilling life path.
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3. You have some passions in common.
Having a hobby or passion in common is great for a relationship. It adds that spark we all look for — especially at the beginning.
If you love the same music genre and go together to concerts, or you play the same instrument, it’s a good sign. A great sign. If you play different instruments and love to make music together, even better, you complement each other.
Another example of this is loving the same sport. Do you both love football? Do you both dance? Awesome. Spend time doing something exciting together. Go watch a football match together or prepare for a dance competition.
However, remember it’s also good if, in addition to share some passions, you have your own hobbies and spend time apart. This is essential in a relationship.
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4. You are strongly attracted to each other.
You have the feeling that time flies when you are together, and can’t get enough of each other. There is that undeniable spark between the two of you you can’t quite explain.
And everything feels easy between the two of you. You both feel that you are the best version of yourselves when you are together.
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5. There is no emotional dependence.
The relationship feels amazing and you don’t need each other to feel complete. You spend time together but you also have your own space. You regularly build some healthy distance that let you spend some time apart and pursue your own dreams.
This means you are both emotionally mature individuals who can be on their own and support each other at the same time. I call it true love.
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6. You complement each other.
Perfect is not when compatible people are together. It’s when you’re both opposite’s but in that way you complete each other.
One of you might be obsessively tidy and punctual, while the other one is always messy and arrives late everywhere. While it might seem a disaster from the outside, these differences might actually help you learn from each other and eventually make the relationship balanced.
The tidy person will learn not to be excessively obsessed with tidiness and perfection in everything. On the other hand, the messy person will learn to be a bit tidier, will start to be on time and respect deadlines.
They say opposites attract, and it’s true.
See, relationships are not only meant to make us happy, but also to find that person that complements us and makes us grow. If you think about it, it’s difficult to grow with someone who is exactly like us, there’s no challenge.
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Finding your perfect match is definitely possible. Some of the most important signs you have to look for are:
- You share the same values;
- Your life is going in the same direction;
- You have some passions in common;
- You are strongly attracted to each other and you feel the need to spend time together;
- There is no emotional dependence;
- You complement each other.
Most importantly, only when you deeply love yourself and feel complete before finding your perfect match, there is potential for a long-lasting and healthy relationship.
Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.
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