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Many men tell me that conversations involving consent are awkward and frustrating.
While I’ve heard things like: “That conversation kills the spark,” and “It guarantees a woman won’t want me,” I have actually found that consent conversations not only create a foundation of respect and deeper intimacy, but allow for more and lasting passion.
I want you to have that! And to get to put down any facades or masks that end up exhausting you and keeping you from the love and intimacy you want.
In today’s Man Alive Podcast episode with Michael Ellsberg, creator of The Consent Pledge, we discuss Michael’s journey from his younger days, dabbling in the “Pick Up” world, to being a man who now practices Affirmative Consent.
In this conversation we cover:
- The purpose of and inspiration behind “The Consent Pledge”
- How to build erotic tension in a genuine and respectful way
- Affirmative consent — why everyone wins when you put it into practice
- How to have consent conversations that don’t kill, and in fact ignite, the spark
- Michael’s history along with his courageous admission of having pressured women in the past
Michael gives a great example in a recent article of how he practices affirmative consent in a connection that begins to become sexual. He pauses to say something like:
“I’m attracted to you, and I want to feel free to express my desire with you. And I’m committed to you feeling totally safe and comfortable with me. So, if anything I do with you makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable, I want you to say ‘Stop’ or ‘Slow down’ immediately and I will.”
When I read this, I relax. I feel respected. My body actually softens and feels safe to open.
So, have a listen to this episode for more of Michael’s wisdom and a practice consent conversation we modeled that stays connected and exciting.
Even men at the top of their game find themselves wanting more from life. Man Alive is the resource for men who want more meaning, a bigger impact, unshakable confidence, a hotter sex life, more money, deeper love, solid friendships or a powerful legacy.
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A version of this post was originally posted on ShanaJamesCoaching.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo provided by author.