We have a choice before us. One on hand, is everything we’ve ever known and loved, and on the other, an unknown and dark future. What would you choose?
—
One of the most difficult tasks we will ever be encumbered with, is the reparation of a broken heart, especially when we choose to stay with the person who caused the breaking in the first place. Yet, one of the most beautiful acts you can ever perform as a human being… is forgiveness.
For we are all Human.
I confronted them both for merely a few seconds. I said that this would be the last time they would ever see me, and I left.
|
We are all beings of learning and growth. Our actions and decisions are not always the best; nor are they always made with the best intentions. Sometimes we are swayed by jealousy. Sometimes we are motivated by spite, or anger. Sometimes we do something simply because we love it. No matter the reason, life is a never ending road filled with our mistakes and our triumphs.
Having been cheated on myself by the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I know all too well the pain of betrayal. For nearly half of a year, my girlfriend and our mutual friend were acting on their mutual love for each other. They had known each other for ten years; been there to watch the world burn around them as things fell apart and grew anew. They possessed a connection that I never understood until I uncovered their dishonesty and their betrayal.
No. I was not given the dignity of an honest truth. They did not tell me. I had to find out by going through his phone while he was drunk on the floor and she was comforting him. A usual occurrence. I would be with them both, and she would give her attention and love to him. Right under my nose. I would be ignorant. I would be the butt of their jokes.
To them I was the enemy. The cold, insincere enemy…
—
I panicked.
The world closed in around me.
My heart beat like a thousand fists read to shatter the earth.
Anger. Rage. Pain. Sorrow. Flooded my mind and coursed through my veins like a drug.
I was all at once destroyed and brought to my end.
I confronted them both for merely a few seconds. I said that this would be the last time they would ever see me, and I left…
—
Sometimes we are faced with a decision that we don’t necessarily want to be facing. We have a choice before us. One on hand, is everything we’ve ever known and loved, and on the other, an unknown and dark future. I could have either stayed, worked on what was wrong with our relationship, believe the she loved me deeply and was just confused and scared and guilty, believe that she made a mistake, and that she does love me; or move on and let her go.
We all fear this decision. We fear having to choose because we are not the ones who forced this decision upon us. The ones who broke our hearts did and now we must choose.
There is no greater comfort in life than having no regret within your heart.
This was something my grandfather used to say to me as a child. I never understood it, but he repeated it whenever I would be disappointed in myself for something I had done, or a decision I had made.
It took me years to understand what he meant; but now I know.
And the hardest part about knowing that you were cheated on… the most painful part of a broken heart… is when you know that you, yourself, had a large part in breaking it.
|
The reason I stayed, was to be sure that I wouldn’t regret letting her go. Yes. Many others would have left. But I am not many others. I am me. We are all different. No one can tell you what is the right or wrong decision. You must decide for yourself.
I chose to stay because I needed to be sure that in years I wouldn’t look back and wonder “what if,” because no matter what anyone says, there is a reason we do what we do. She was unhappy because of many things in her life, and I wasn’t the man she needed.
I could have been, but I was not.
And the hardest part about knowing that you were cheated on… the most painful part of a broken heart…
… Is when you know that you, yourself, had a large part in breaking it. When you question your own actions and realize that you are not nearly the person you thought you were.
I stayed for love. I forgave for love. I move forward with her, because I want for no one else; because to me, she is greater than the beauty of every star in the sky. She is more amazing than anything I could dream. She is not just the only woman I want to spend my life with, she is the only person I have ever loved like I was drowning, and she was my air. I am not just in love with her…
She is love.
And I want to be the man who forgives and becomes.
Because that’s what she deserves.
Photo: Flickr/Kathy
Dear Anon, I am so sorry that your heart was broken into a million little pieces. As a woman that was cheated on I chose to stay but it damn near killed me. And then…I cheated too. A couple of years after him cheating and I still wanted to marry him, wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But anytime I brought the subject up there would be no discussion. I was called needy and obsessed. I started talking to someone from my past. Someone that would have married me in two seconds. We grew close… Read more »
This seem so one sided. “I stayed for love. I forgave for love. I move forward with her, because I want for no one else; because to me, she is greater than the beauty of every star in the sky. She is more amazing than anything I could dream. She is not just the only woman I want to spend my life with, she is the only person I have ever loved like I was drowning, and she was my air. I am not just in love with her… She is love.” Does she feel the same way about you?… Read more »
Cool story, Anon.
Can you share with us the details of how she has turned herself around to become a person who deserves you, your heart and your forgiveness?
I understand fully that we can survive and grow through infidelity. But it doesn’t happen without some incredible difficult personal work and rebuilding of trust.
How are you two navigating that? Specifically, what are you doing for each other?
Pathetic!