Aaron Gouveia looks at the “rules” some fathers are setting for their daughters and hopes they understand the meaning of the word irony.
When I read the headline “Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex,” I cringed and steeled myself for massive amounts of outrage. But as it turns out, the piece was a wonderful, grounded, common sense call to action for fathers to stop thinking of themselves as protectors of virginity, and start making sure our daughters have safe and meaningful sexual experiences.
Throwing the words “daughter” and “sex” in the same sentence is vomit-inducing for many dads. It’s much easier to think of the innocent little girl you know and love, while you guard her against any and all male suitors and act as her knight in shining armor. The idea of dad polishing his gun while meeting the new boyfriend is often the lazy commentary when it comes to how fathers will handle their daughters dating. That leads to memes like this one that spell out the “rules” boys will have to follow.
I get that this is hyperbole – to an extent. Unfortunately, even when it’s mentioned in jest, there are more than a few nuggets of truth when this subject is discussed in my online dad communities. Which is confusing and slightly amazing to me, because it leaves me wondering how the dads who feel this way manage to avoid being crushed under the weight of all the irony.
First of all, this whole thing neglects to take one important factor into consideration – girls are just as interested in sex as boys. In fact, it was my experience they were actually the aggressors. So if you see some “sexts” on your daughter’s phone, perhaps it’s a good idea to deal with her instead of shooting him. Because obviously you haven’t done a very good job of talking to your own daughter about sex.
But the part that really gets me and made me do a double take was “#7: She is not your property and as such you can’t try to change her.”
Is this for real? Dads who agree with the idiotic notions in this meme are basically putting a “Keep Out: No Trespassing” sign on their daughters’ proverbial front lawns, and they have the gall to tell the would-be boyfriend to not treat their little girl like property? It’s asinine.
Fellas, it’s time to start heeding your own advice.