WTF: Babble Publishes List of 10 Things Moms do Better than Dads.

 

Okay, I admit it.  Guilty as charged.  I once wrote the phrase, “moms are generally better parents than dads. And that goes double for me” on the parenting website Babble. And I took endless shit for it.  Rightfully so.  But my lede was intended as a sucker punch, drawing moms in before I lectured them on a long list of things that moms actually don’t always get right (in my humble opinion) when it comes to raising boys. My list wasn’t intended to limit the spectrum of gender roles for parents nor kids, just push moms to think a little outside the box if they hadn’t already about what having a penis might mean in terms of how to deal with a male child.

Apparently Babble didn’t get the joke, or the memo.  Since for mother’s day they published a list of ten things that moms do better than dads.  No following lecture from a dad to moms about parenting, just a flat statement of fact.

Ready for this crap:

  1. Hugging (my hugs are legendary…think what happens when a 230 pound man takes a crying baby in his arms with a heart full of love)
  2. Injuries (do you know what it’s like to sleep with your toddler in the hospital on New Year’s Eve when his asthma is so bad he can’t breathe?)
  3. Changing Diapers (there’s this thing called the daddy lock which involved gently holding down a baby’s legs while protecting yourself from urine…)
  4. Preparing Health Foods (does cooking for two kids starting at ages 1 and 3 for six years solo count?)
  5. Keeping Kids Clean (bath time is the best ritual there is according to this dad, along with mandatory room cleaning)
  6. Snuggling (Please see my NYT piece: “Man I need a good cuddle” and the Gawker response calling me a pussy for saying so)
  7. Cooking (not sure the author can count but see #4)
  8. Going out and about (he seems to say dads can’t get anywhere without forgetting the diaper bag…listen after years of solo parenting my kids know its military precision when we leave the house)
  9. Expressing Emotion (WTF, really? I basically droop love all over my kids all day every day.  They know that I know they are the best thing that ever happened to me)
  10. Making Sick Kids Feel Better (again, see #2.  Add the thousand times my kids have vomited all over me and my command of the kids pain killer alternatives for fever)

Moms are not better.  Dads are not better.  There is a wide spectrum of parenting and roles, many that have nothing to do with gender.  But when I read articles like this one it just makes me so mad and sad (see #9 above).  So many men I know are awesome dads.  That takes absolutely nothing away from moms.  But to claim that we can’t feed, clothe, cuddle or care for our kids as well as moms is so insanely wrong on so many levels I think my head is about to explode.

What do you think?

 

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About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men Project. He has a 18-year-old daughter and 16- and 7-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life. Follow him on Twitter @TMatlack.

Comments

  1. I think it’s BS is what I think. But it sure will stir up the pot.

  2. wellokaythen says:

    The Babble list is insulting to men and a regressive view of women at the same time.

    So, according to this list, it’s best if men generally stay away from childcare and let women do it. I mean, if you want the best care for kids, that means that women need to stay at home more than men do. What looks like a self-congratulatory list for women is actually a push back into traditional roles. Be careful, ladies. If you want more opportunities outside of being a homemaker, this list is not your friend….

  3. Lauren Hale says:

    The only thing moms can do better than dad is breastfeed and give birth, this is only due to the way our bodies are built. You’re absolutely right when you say “Moms are not better. Dads are not better. There is a wide spectrum of parenting and roles, many that have nothing to do with gender.”

    There were several things my former spouse was better at with the kids, including caring for them and relating to them on their level.

    I don’t know if you took the time to read the comments but there’s an alleged follow up planned for Father’s Day. I can hardly wait to see how much further down the rabbit hole this guy goes.

    • Tom Matlack says:

      I have watched my three kids being born and I will give women props on that aspect of biology all day long. It is a miracle.

    • I thought the breastfeeding chest from meet the fockers,etc was pretty nifty:P

  4. The way Babble promoted it on Facebook was almost as bad.

    “Finish this sentence. The one thing that mothers do better than fathers is ___________. (Then see what this dad said!)”

    It started a long reply of moms dad bashing.

  5. They’re getting kind of thrashed on it too. That post has spawned like 15 posts against it.

  6. Nah I think yours beat mine and a bunch others in. But there definitely was a huge eruption. Sad thing is, guy seems like an actually really great dad/dude. Just a bad word choice. If only he had said “Ten things my wife is better than me at.”

  7. For what it’s worth, this wasn’t a “Babble list’ – when people think of Babble lists, they usually think of the top blog lists and the like – this was a post by a blogger, and it was entirely his own opinion, based very clearly on his personal experience. We employ over a hundred bloggers, who post at will, and state very clearly in our community guidelines that we embrace a diversity of opinions and welcome, for the most part, all comers. Which is to say, no one blogger’s perspective can or should be said to be Babble’s own. (For the record, I’ll say that I happen to agree that there are some things that moms, in general, do better than dads, and some things that dads, in general, do better than moms – we have a piece going up tomorrow about the things that moms can learn from dads – but that’s my own opinion, not Babble’s. We disagree *wildly* internally about questions concerning moms v. dads – the lines, not surprisingly, tend to run according to who’s a mom and who’s a dad – but that’s another conversation entirely.)

  8. Tom Matalck says:

    Catherine thanks for the response though it brings up more questions than answers. Here they are:

    1) So does Babble take no responsibility for publishing such a male/dad hating piece?
    2) Will this blogger be fired?
    3) Would the answer to #1 and #2 be different if the blogger made similarly disparaging remarks about a race or a religion?
    4) “I happen to agree that there are some things that moms, in general, do better than dads, and some things that dads, in general, do better than moms”. Given that you are commenting on our site based on a piece on your site which was so horribly negative about dads, mind sharing what you think those are?

    In general, my view is that dads get a raw end of the deal. I don’t think there is any use generalizing about moms and dads abilities since there is such a spectrum of abilities and approaches. But the stereotype that dads are bad or somehow incapable parents is just as bad as statements made about women’s ability at work before feminism set the record straight and at least the ideal of equality became our common goal.

    • Eric M. says:

      “Will this blogger be fired?”

      Seriously? How do you get fired from blogging? This piece isn’t anywhere near as horrifically offensive as the piece that argues that ALL men are obsessed with violence. If it’s possible to fire a blogger, THAT guy needs to be fired.

  9. sweetsue says:

    WTF indeed I read I the cuddle article(NY Mag) and found nothing to comment about – makes sense to me. As for the list Babble is just babbling mindlessly – the 10 things they list are human traits – gender neutral applicable to a functioning human. Given that in my family the rule was if it was hungry feed it, if it cried, was lonely, grumpy/fussy hug it, sleepy provide a place to sleep, wet change it or dry it, and if it was broken fix it this list is meaningless.

  10. 1) We don’t regard it as man-hating or dad-hating. Cody wrote a personal piece, based on his personal experience, in which he said that he believed that there were some things that moms do better than dads. Saying that someone does something better than someone else doesn’t necessarily disparage the second person; I teach my children that degrees of skill or talent don’t correspond to their worth as people, and I think that that principles applies here. Cody didn’t say that men were bad parents; he said that his own experience as a father suggested to him that there were certain things that women were better at in parenting. At worst he’s guilty of over-generalizing.
    2) For over-generalizing?
    3) These are false equivalencies.
    4) Sure. I think that for the most part, moms tend to be more automatically responsive to their babies, in part because of biologically necessity (mothers have particular physical responses to the cries of their own children – and anyone who has had her milk let down just hearing her child’s cry over the phone knows this to be true), in part because the parent who is the primary caregiver has to develop, more thoroughly, a fuller set of skills – she or he (and in a culture where the dad is more often the primary caregiver, we might give this edge to him) has to hit the ground running and be able to multitask, think six steps ahead, know automatically how many diapers and wipes need to be in the the diaper bag. This is not to say that dads are lacking or lesser-than – it’s just to acknowledge that centuries – millenia – of cultural habituation and some degree of biology have fitted women for motherhood in some very specific ways. Once we’ve gone a greater distance in habituating men, we may – I hope that we will – get to a place where they truly are, universally, as fitted to primary caregiving. But it’s disingenuous to suggest that we’re already there. Women still do most of the work of parenthood. Women are still, for the most, the primary caregivers. It doesn’t disparage dads qua dads to say this – it’s just fact. There are lots of awesome dads out there, and they should be celebrated – but I don’t think that one guy saying that his wife does ten things better than he does hurts this cause.

    Look – dads have it tough. My husband is a stay at home dad who will tell you with some enthusiasm that he has it tough. But as a former academic who studied the place of women and the family in the public sphere, I can tell you with some authority that moms have had the raw end of the deal for waaaaaaay longer, and continue to struggle. (Let’s talk maternity leave! And public breastfeeding! And the numbers of women who get fired for being pregnant or for nursing! And the rate at which women die in childbirth! And their struggle to control their reproductive health!) We *don’t* have equality – moms don’t have equality. So I have little patience for the outrage.

    • Eric M. says:

      1. It’s illegal to fire someone for BEING pregnant. And, women breastfeed in public all the time. Every now and then someone complains but those are few and far between. Not sure what you mean about getting fired for nursing, unless it’s that they stay at home and nurse instead of coming to work?

      2. At least maternity leave exists for many pregnant women; some as long as three months. Close to 0% of fathers get even a month, let alone three months.

      3. Some women do die in childbirth but, on average, men still die about five years younger. So, you’re still ahead of the game.

      4. Not sure how you figure that today, 2012, moms don’t have equality. Maybe you feel they don’t have the benefits they want or need, but you can’t substantiate a claim of not having equality.

    • “I don’t think that one guy saying that his wife does ten things better than he does hurts this cause.”

      Here’s the thing, Catherine, he didn’t say his “wife does ten things better than he does.” The article is entitled “Top 10 Things Mothers do better than Fathers” or are we conveniently forgetting the word choice for the sake of argument?

      In fact, he goes on to introduce the list with this phrase: “Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers.”

      Both are a sincerely hefty generalization and what I believe most people are upset about. HAD he entitled it “Top 10 Things My Wife does better than Me” we wouldn’t be having this discussion as it would be a moot point because no one else would have been brought into the claim.

      Clearly Cody is not at all keeping this to just a discussion of his wife and himself. Instead, he gleefully generalizes about the WHOLE realm of parenting, disingenuously dragging traditional roles for women into the mix as well. The entire piece is a gender stereotyping mess and should be removed.

      • Eric M. says:

        “The entire piece is a gender stereotyping mess and should be removed.”

        No, it’s his opinion. On a blog. Not the front page of the New York Times. Lighten up. Write a point by poin response if you disagree. That’s what I did.

        It’s not even college course, many of which also have content which is clearly gender-biased, such as women’s studies classes. You need to learn to read this stuff like you’re eating fish: eat the meat and spit out the bones. Some of it has more bones than others, and the meat is hard to find.

    • Random_Stranger says:

      Catherine,

      For someone who professes to have “studied women and families in the workplace” you seem awfully willing to provide substantive evidence that women should remain primary child caregivers. Closing that paragraph with a statement about lack of equality seems hypocritical in context.

      If I can rephrase what I’m hearing you say: “Women are natural caregivers, innately superior in that capacity to men. Its an injustice that society has not permitted women to continue their natural, dominant role in the home while compensating any disadvantage this natural domestic superiority might render them to compete equally with men at work.”

      Sounds pretty unfair to me, in fact I might say it sounds sexist.

    • 1. “Saying that someone does something better than someone else doesn’t necessarily disparage the second person” It does when you say that is based on gender. Just look at the comments on your Facebook page around this post. I know you don’t control those posters, but you have to see the way you advertised it along with the blog post encourages disparaging other people.
      3. The fact that you don’t think they are the same is a problem. Common non discrimination policies include gender. Why would you think it would be any different if I, based on my experience, over generalized about a race of people? Why would you have a problem with race but not gender?
      4. If you want to encourage men to be more involved with their kids may I suggest that blog post like this may have the opposite effect? And women had to fight for respect in the work world. Now men are fighting for respect in the home world. Yes, in some areas mom have it tough. But to somehow say that means men shouldn’t get outraged is just ridiculous.

    • Tom Matlack says:

      Catherine you might want to check out the research done by the Boston College Center for the Family in their study, “The New Dad: Caring, Committed, Conflicted” http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/centers/cwf/pdf/FH-Study-Web-2.pdf

      Among many other things it points out that while maternity leave might not be all we would hope, as you point out, paternity leave it pretty much none existant. In addition the law with regards to father’s rights are very skewed.

      I honestly appreciate your willingness to come onto our site and explain your point of view and how that fits in with Babble. In the end its the discussion that is the most important to me.

      But I gotta tell you that a piece talking about how dads don’t cuddle, clothe or care for their kids as well as mom’s is offensive however you want to slice it. It is man-hating or dad-hating. If the genders were reversed it would be called blatant sexism (how about a column about the 10 ways men are better in the work place than women?).

      Negative stereotypes of dads are, in my view, no different or less damaging that perpetuating negative stereotypes of women, african americans, jews or gays. Your Darwinian theory of why women are inherently superior parents continues where your blogger left off. What do you make of families where two married men are raising a child? By your framing, I guess that kid is by definition going to get inferior parenting.

      How about we say both moms and dads are great. Why do we need to compare and go negative on anyone?

      • The silly, biased, generalized title of that study, “The New Dad: Caring, Committed, Conflicted” shows that it’s agenda-driven and not to be taken seriously. No credible academic would ever title a study like that.

  11. Eric M. says:

    1. Hugging. Tie. Moms and dads hugs, I think, are different but neither is better.
    2. Injuries. Moms have it. Dad are okay, but nothing like mom kissing the boo-boo.
    3. Changing Diapers. Logistical tie (a 12 year old can change a diaper as well as any mother of father – it’s not rocket science). But in reality this one goes to moms. Why? Because a 12 year old boy or girl can change a diaper as well as any mother. The difference is wanting to do it. I only wanted to do it for my own kids. Moms often want to do it for other people’s kids too. In fact, young girls (e.g. my oldest daughter, loves, loves, loves babies and will volunteer to change a diaper). How many males do that?
    4. Preparing Health Foods. Moms have this one too. Dads can do it just as well, but don’t usually. Why? Because moms often feel more responsible to make sure the kids eat healthy. As a result, dads don’t worry about it as much.
    5. Keeping Kids Clean. I gave both of my daughters 100% of their baths, but now that they are getting older their mom handles keeping up/reminding/admonishing them on their girl-hygiene.
    6. Snuggling. Tie. We’re both really good at this.
    7. Cooking. Moms. Only because they tend to do want to be the feeders more so than dads.
    8. Going out and about. Dads. Hanging out with dad is definitely (usually) more fun. They don’t sweat the small stuff as much as moms often do. They’re more risk tolerant.
    9. Expressing Emotion. Tie. Obviously. Why? It all depends on what kind of emotion you’re talking about. Some emtion shouldn’t be expressed. Over-reacting in anger and frustration are examples. There is value in being able to suppress emotion at times. Dads tend to be better able to do that. On the other hand, not suppressing is often the thing to do. Moms and dads complement each other here, as in many other ways.
    10. Making Sick Kids Feel Better. I give this one to moms, at least when they kids are little. See #2.

    Moms and dads can do just about all the same things but they do them in somewhat different but complementary ways. That’s why one of each is better than only one or two of one and none of the other.

  12. Dont worry about it mate. It’s just trolling/link bait sensationalization just to get views.

  13. My dad did none of the things on that list. He was a stereotypical uninvolved father. No hugs, no snuggling, no kissing if boo boos, no cooking (ever), no child care responsibilities of any kind. If he noticed us it was to tell us to quiet down. It was very sad, when I look back on it. So glad that today’s dads have tsken a different path.

    • Eric M. says:

      How unfortunate.

      It is not a generational thing in my family. I’m only a little different than my dad, and I think my brother is about the same. We both have wonderful relationships with our kids.

      My dad is pretty traditional but also very loving and more emotional when it comes to us kids than my mom. He never cooked and I have no idea about diaper changing (which doesn’t matter to kids anyway since they don’t remember it), but he was and is a great dad.

    • Random_Stranger says:

      That’s a shame, its when we’re let down by a mother, father or other emotional intimate, compounded with an absence of positive male/female role models, that feelings of misogyny / misandry start to foment. Hope that didn’t happen in your case.

      • Thank you Random Stranger. Fortunately I don’t think my experience with my father has caused me to be negative about men. I see my father now as a complicated individual who was dealing with his own issues. He was raised by a single mother so he didn’t have a male role model and he didn’t know how to be a good father. But he always worked hard and put food on the table. He was one of those guys who spent all his free time working around the house and yard, building things and fixing things. I know that’s how he showed his love for us. I mostly feel a sense of loss that he never showed affection, because that would have been so nice. I was a little starved for male affection growing up and it has colored my relationships with men, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten easier. I really love seeing men pushing baby strollers and playing with their children at the park. I think, those kids are so lucky!

        • He could have been raised to assume men are the tough parent, they have to remain strong and never cry, the lighthouse in the storm so to speak and showing emotion or affection to a child like you wanted might not have met the male role he was taught to be. He probably wasn’t shown much of it as a child himself and was clueless on how to show it?

    • My dad sang a bit to me when I got a boo boo from what I remember. I think it’s not a generational thing but just some parents do different stuff, I’ve seen grandparents who were real hard-ass men and women turn into total softies with their kids and grandkids.

  14. I’m willing to accept the premise that there are some things that on balance most mothers do certain things better than most fathers (even if you only count 1st time parenting couples, i.e. negate as much as possible experience and talk about genetic disposition).

    However, the problem lies in drawing the conclusion that therefore mothers are better parents. The simple fact is that while women (on balance) have through genes or socialization have drifted to certain parenting strengths, so too have fathers.

    Studies show that the best parenting model is one mother one father. Fathers are necessary specifically *because* they parent in different (not worse in total, but some things worse some things better) ways to mothers. Fathers parenting centers on rough-housing, exploration, self-reliance, high expectations, goal setting and meeting, consequences to breaking the rules, good sportsmanship and the like.

    90% of men in prison for violence come from fatherless homes (even though those homes only represent 30% of such environments for kids). That means men raised in fatherless homes are 27 times more likely to wind up in prison for violence.

    The number 1 indicator to teen girls self-esteem is the presence of a loving engaged father.

    Once and for all, fathers are just as necessary and integral to childrens well being as mothers (regardless of the prevalent narrative that wants to paint things in an unreal fashion).

  15. I’m so totally going to quote Gloria Steinem again. Get ready for it:

    “Women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

    • A few mothers on my facebook need to hear that:P Watching the random belittling of the “dumb men” with the kids can get annoying! One even asked if it was ok to let the daddy take the child for a weekend alone to the grandparents…..Worried that something would happen to the kid cuz they see the mother as the all knowing, superparent.

    • Tom Matlack says:

      Amen Heather.

  16. Calling for someone to be fired for a fluff piece is a little over the top.

    Get a hold of yourself, man. It wasn’t about *you*, it was a stereotypical piece about one guy’s experiences with his wife. His way of saying “holy shit, she’s good at stuff that I am terrible at, I’m glad we’re a team.”

    It’s a blog, not a commandment from the mountain.

    To paraphrase Alan Iverson: “we’re talking about blogging?”

    Hug it out, bitches.

    • Well I don’t think it’s worth calling for someone to be fired over.

      That being said, the original Babble article isn’t just one person talking about his own, personal, experiences. He makes generalizations…heck the title itself was a generalization. Now, if it were just a personal thing, then I wouldn’t have a problem. The bits in each part of his list where he comments on the specific parts of his own family’s dynamic…yeah no probs. It’s when he says stuff like “Mothers are definitely better at keeping their kids clean,” or “mothers are better huggers than fathers.” That’s when it becomes problematic, and mother-normative.

      I don’t think this is anti-man or anti-dad…I think it’s mom-normative. (Yeah, I’m making up all sorts of something-normative terms, but it works).

    • Tom Matlack says:

      DC:

      Generally I do hug it out. But every once in a while I think it important to point out the hypocrisy. Being a dad is the most important thing to me. And this idea that I am inherently not good at it is offensive, specially when we have this whole website devoted to talking about how men can be better fathers and husbands and men.

      Forgive me for caring but I do.

  17. So lemme guess, another article belittling men as parents to be celebrated by mothers hoping that everyone would have a good laugh because “we all know it’s true”. Sounds like it was trying to pander to mothers except I’m glad to see both women and men calling the author out on the sexism.

  18. I would also add this: the dads who blog and engage in this sort of discussion are the 1%.

    Go to a zoo, a playground, an amusement park, a mall, etc .. men are, for the mostpart, meatheads. There are a lot of us that care a lot about our kids, but there are a lot of asses dragging our side of the gender equation down.

    I’ve been upset over these sorts of things before too. I cook and do groceries in our house, all the flyers are Mom-centric. I like to shop, so why did Ikea create “manland” to babysit husbands?

    http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/buzz-bishop-daddy-buzz/men-are-stereotyped-too

    It’s a long road, and some of us are already at the finish line, we just have to wait for the rest of the meatheads to finish their beer at the bar, and wake up and join us.

    • Most of the Dads I know are really awesome, actually. Or at least, I don’t know more crap Dads than I do crap Moms.

    • Dadcamp:
      You seem to be making a lot of the same implications that a lot of feminists make. If a parent spends more time doing more of the paid work versus the direct care, that doesn’t make them the lesser parent.

      Doing the paid work typically isn’t all sunshine and roses. There are roughly 5000 fatalities from accidents at work per year. Roughly 95% of those are men.

      And this is just the tip of the ice berg. When you factor in things like injuries causing permanent disabilities (at work) and exposure to things like asbestos, pesticides or chemicals you are typically talking about men and fathers.

      • Hey John,

        I didnt say either side was a lesser parent, just saying that .. from my view, those who are on boards like this are the outlier from society. We’re engaged and trying to change things. But there are still a bulk of meatheads out there. Cody’s piece was fluff, linkbait, stereotypical, whatever. It may speak to parts of society, not all, but honestly – it doesnt matter an ounce to the relationship I have with my wife.

        I cook, she cleans. I take the kids to practice, she cuts the grass. For most of us, there are no defined roles, for others .. well ..

        • I can agree that a lot of meatheads are out there. However, I would hypothesize that neither fathers or mothers corner the market on irresponsibility and selfishness.

          I’m sure there are just as many meathead mothers as there are fathers.

    • Eric M. says:

      “like to shop, so why did Ikea create “manland” to babysit husbands?”

      Pretty insulting way to put it. Do they have a “sitter?”

      Anyone whose been shopping has seen, first hand, that men trailing their wives around stores, because lots of times they really don’t give a crap what she picks out, as long as she’s content and happy. Lots of time they would much rather be watching or playing a game. Or at least sitting down somewhere. Hence, there are seating areas in many stores where you will see husbands sitting, patiently waiting for their wives to decide which color or style this or that she wants.

      No matter how hard some people try, men and women aren’t interchangable, and and never will be.

  19. You judge millions of men as “meatheads” and “asses” without ever speaking with them or reading a word they wrote. Their experiences become erased in your rush to clump them together to fit your myopic view of half the world. Incredible. Those “enlightened” people like you who have taken to the blogosphere to share how enlightened they are do more harm than good by perpetuating the negative attitudes people carry towards men. Your breathtaking generalizations betray a common sentiment: men are incompetent fools who must be reformed by women (feminists).

    Men have problems, but men are not a problem. Maybe you should take a minute to talk to these “meatheads” and “asses” before you take to the blogosphere to get your cookie by ridiculing them.

  20. Eagle34 says:

    DadCAMP: “Go to a zoo, a playground, an amusement park, a mall, etc .. men are, for the mostpart, meatheads. There are a lot of us that care a lot about our kids, but there are a lot of asses dragging our side of the gender equation down.”

    How would you know they’re meatheads? You personally speak with them to find out or are you just pulling this assumption out of thin air like the rest you’ve made?

    Maybe those “Asses” wouldn’t be dragging your side of the gender equation down if you stopped putting all your focus on waiting for them to finish their beer at the bar which is another assumption of yours.

    DadCAMP: “It’s a long road, and some of us are already at the finish line, we just have to wait for the rest of the meatheads to finish their beer at the bar, and wake up and join us.”

    Meanwhile I, as an uncle to a niece am going to instill in her an empathetic feeling for boys and men and ,makse sure she focus her ire on the actual boys and men who harmed her. Also instill in her the courage to call out bigotry from mouths like yours.

  21. Catherine: I respect you coming on and expressing your views. But your dismissive and condescending tone leaves a lot to be desired.

    First of all, I don’t think Cody should be fired or kicked off the site. He made a bad judgment call — it happens. Hopefully he’ll learn from it. Frankly I take more issue with your baffling defense of his article and indignant nature concerning the backlash.

    1) Cody did NOT write a personal piece about his own experiences. The title says “10 Things Mothers Do Better Than Fathers.” Not “10 Things My Wife Does Better Than Me,” which would’ve been fine. He generalized. And not just in the title. He also had such gems as: “Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers?”; “mothers are definitely better huggers than fathers”; “I still haven’t met another father who has been able to change a diaper with less than two wipes”; “Mothers seem to have that ability to make sure that their children receive the proper nutrition through the proper foods”; “mothers are definitely better at keeping kids cleaner than fathers” and so on.

    So please don’t tell me it was about his personal experiences. Those are blanket statements about all mothers and all fathers. That is why people are upset. And having read enough articles from Babble, I know for a FACT that if a man had written something along the lines of “10 Reasons Why Men Are Better at Math” or “10 Reasons Women Aren’t as Good as Men at Sports” there would’ve been a collective epileptic fit amongst most of the Babble blogging ranks.

    Then you go on to talk about how moms have it tough, even mentioning maternity leave. Are you kidding?? At least the majority of moms get some form of maternity leave. Dads — for the most part — get nothing! We have to use vacation/sick time if we even have it. If not, we go unpaid. I mean give me a break.

    It would’ve been all too easy for Cody to write an ode to his wife using just his personal experiences. That would’ve allowed him to express his opinion without denigrating all other fathers. But instead, you guys clearly went for the controversy and the pageviews. And that’s fine — it’s your job. But at least have the intestinal fortitude to stand by that decision and please stop being so disingenuous with your own faux outrage to the justifiable criticism from many moms and dads to Cody’s piece.

    Cody seems like a genuinely nice guy who made an error in judgment. I hope he learns from this and continues to hone his skill. But as for you, Catherine, it’s nice to know you have so little patience for constructive criticism while being able to stand blatant sexism and misinformation on your own site. Very telling.

  22. Unfortunately for my children, their father chooses not be too involved too heavily in their lives. I could easily read the Babble post and shout “HOW TRUE IT IS!!!!” based on my personal experience. However, it would be a total lie. Because my significant other has stepped up to the plate with joy, patience, and more love than I ever would have expected. (And I expect A LOT when it comes to my kids!) He gives the ‘best’ hugs, he is the ‘best’ listener, he is the ‘funner’ adult to be around. My kids just flat out love that man, and he has proven over and over again that it is not taken for granted.

    This post forces parents, or parental figures, into a competition. Loving and caring for children should never be a competition. Involved dads are a miracle to behold. Involved moms are a miracle to behold. If you ask your kids, they aren’t judging (unless they’re mad at you at the time) who does what best. They’re just living their lives, taking the love in and going on with their day. Dads, keep up the great work. Moms, keep up the great work. And work together, no matter what the circumstances, ’cause honestly, kids don’t really care where the love comes from. They just want to fell it.

  23. I was going to hide under a sheet and make a “Leave Cody ALOOONE” video, I decided to write 500 words instead

    http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/2012/05/15/i-bbq-my-wife-does-laundry-and-other-gender-stereotypes/

    This intense uproar is over the top, people. Hug it out.

  24. I don’t know whats more offensive. Catherine’s bigotry or her rationalization of it.
    Future lists to appear on Babble based on the “personal experience” of their bloggers:
    10 Things Whites do better than Blacks.
    10 Things Christians do better than Jews.
    10 Things Straights do better than Gays.

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