How to Use an Escalator

Escalator

Josh Bowman is spending the next couple of weeks offering tips on how to do basic activities (you’re welcome). Today: using an escalator.

 

  1. Walk left. Stand right. Bags right. Backpacks right. Bikes right. Kissing right.
  2. Hold your farts.
  3. Walk the right way. If an escalator is going down, walk down. I’m talking to you, squeegee skid punks.
  4. Don’t wear long pants.
  5. Tie your shoes.
  6. Don’t push past elderly people. Wait for…like…one second.
  7. If you are elderly, don’t stand on the left.
  8. Do you need to hold the handrails if you are standing? Not a problem, just something to think about.
  9. Don’t just walk halfway up the escalator and then stop for no reason. Especially during rush hour.
  10. Maybe take the stairs once in a while. It’s better for you.

—Photo midiman/Flickr 

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About Josh Bowman

Josh Bowman is a professional fundraiser, story-teller, comedian, and blogger. He has worked and consulted in Vancouver, New York, and now Toronto for almost a decade. Josh improvises around Toronto, including regular shows with Opening Night Theatre, and also blogs for the Huffington Post. You can email Josh or follow him on Twitter. If you want to submit a guestpost or know more about Josh, check this post and this post out first.

Comments

  1. How about not stopping at the very top/bottom, blocking the exiting of others, while you decide where you need to go next?

  2. Geoff Glave says:

    Useful tips. I’ll add one more: If you’re on an escalator that is only single-wide, and your legs work fine, when you reach the escalator, continue walking, either up or down. Treat the escalator like a magic staircase that gets you to your destination a little faster.

  3. Joey Joe Joe says:

    5. Tie your shoes… Just don’t stop to do this at the bottom (although if you want to see something hilarious, do this).

    2. So much fun when you ride backwards and watch the people coming up into it though.

  4. Great idea and great advice….

    … except the whole walk left/stand right thing only works in The States. Please try to remember that almost the rest of the world stands left/walks right on escalators.

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