Garrett Brown — @GarrettABrown on Twitter — sent this tweet to us:
Now, to be clear, what the guy does in the commercial is not rape by any definition we know of. It is, however, most certainly an unwanted sexual advance, to a high school girl who didn’t see it coming. Watch it again, you can see her flinch. Is this really the definition of #bravery, as Audi touts? Is that how we want boys — coming of age and somewhat socially awkward — to think about the world? That all they need is one manly instrument — in this case a car — to turn them into a sexually aggressive animal? (The boy even howls at the end. You know, like an animal.)
Addendum: One commenter asks these questions as well: ”What about the message that not having a date for a Prom is socially unacceptable, what about the boy should some how feel empowered to act rebellious because of a car, what about the fact that the boy became the victim of violence?”
Comments, please. We will publish the best in our Comment of the Day.
PS: The video posted on YouTube has the note: “You’ll have to watch the 1st of three alternate endings to the 2013 Audi Super Bowl commercial to see if his newly found bravery pays off.”
PS: Using a man-made product to “prove” your masculinity reminds us of the equally heinous ads by Bushmaster, which suggest that all you have to do if your man card gets taken away is to buy a gun.
About the Editors
Absolutely the wrong message! It perpetuates the image of women being property to be fought over with no consideration for their boundaries. He felt bad that he didn’t have a date, the car gave him confidence and the belief that he could take whatever he wanted.
“It perpetuates the image of women being property to be fought over with no consideration for their boundaries.”
This is supported by the Prom King not so much Audi kid.
“He felt bad that he didn’t have a date, the car gave him confidence and the belief that he could take whatever he wanted.”
How do we know he wasn’t confident before? No back story so we don’t know. Same problem with what i will say next.
So lets add back story in a positive way and give the kid and the creator the benefit of the doubt and say she gave him signals at some point earlier, instead of automatically claiming hes a creep. People, especially feminists, like to view men in a bad light when there is not enough information and women as victims. Men elicit pessimism in others. (Why is that old man buying children’s books?/Are those his kids or did he take them?/ect.) Women elicit optimism. (Girl punches cat calling guy in the street/ect.)
The creator could have done a better job of showing her earlier attention to him and his lack of confidence though.
Even if she showed an earlier interest in him, does that warrent him coming up behind her and grabbing her for a kiss?
I also think we need to pay attention to the role the young girl is playing. She is Prom Queen. She is the trophy right? She isn’t just any girl at the dance. She is the epitome of physical beauty and popularity as symbolized by Prom Queen “status”.
Trophy? Maybe, maybe not. Could just be the most attractive person and be based purely on lust. Trophy I’d say is way too negative a label. If I wanna kiss miss universe, it’s not because she’s a trophy, it’d probably be lust. I don’t date people to have something pretty around my arm, I date people I am attracted to (though I go for a mix of beauty n personality, beauty alone won’t work for me). You can still see people as humans even if lust is on your mind.
Yeap, Trophy is a negative label yet it exists largely in perceptions of masculinity and what men have to “win” to be considered masculine. Such as the hottest or most popular girl at the dance.
The reason the young girl in the commerical is respresented as Prom Queen isn’t because of some standard of equality among all the young girls at the dance. It is because the Prom Queen represents the epitome of trophy status. Like everything else in the commercial, it plays on stereotypes. I don’t think this needs to turn into a discussion about your personal life since no one is actually commenting on your personal life but the stereotypes that are present in the commercial.
Way to miss my point Erin, I am talking about how people assume he is someone looking for a trophy instead of assuming he just wants to share a kiss with someone he likes. A trophy is ONLY valuable for her looks, how do you know this person only values her looks? There is a shitload people are reading into this commercial. He probably did kiss the most beautiful girl at the dance, does that mean she is just a trophy to him? You can read it as that, or you can read it as his long-term crush depending on who you are. You can see him as someone stealing a kiss, or someone finally getting the courage to kiss the woman he loves/has crush on/likes/is attracted to/take your pick.
Where do these assumptions come from? Peoples intrepretation of the ad, yet there are a wide variety of interpretations from seeing it as an underdog story to a rapebutnotrape, taking a trophy to simply sharing a kiss, entitlement to hope n overcoming shyness. He might be kissing her because she is prom queen, or he might be kissing her because she is Stacey who he’s loved since 8th grade. The stereotype of prom queen is much more than just the status, it’s a common trope in teen romance for the guy to fall for the beauty (and usually the friend next door plain Jane who often turns out to be supermodel Jane at the prom). So why choose the trophy stereotype and not the I loved you since 8th grade one?
People see what they want to see in this commercial and other media plays a huge part in how they are reading it I think. Being that it’s only a few seconds long it’s pretty damn vague and all of us could be right or wrong.
I didn’t miss your point. I disagree with your point.
“A trophy is ONLY valuable for her looks, how do you know this person only values her looks?”
Because nothing else is shared or expressed about her other then her looks and Prom Queen status. You don’t value someone for more than their looks when that is all you represent them as.
You make a case for his shyness and make your own assumptions based on this. Is his desire to kiss her and over come his personal shyness of more importance then her ownership of her own body and if she even wants to be kissed or not and have control over who is doing what to her body? Does it matter if he is kissing her lips or touching her butt or grabbing her boobs? Aren’t her lips just as much a part of her body as her other parts?
In grade school when we were all going through puberty, it became popular for the boys to snap the girls’ bras. It didn’t feel good having to go through school worried about some boy snapping your bra against your skin and making it sting. But that was something a lot of the girls had to deal with because the boys felt entitled to it. You would be walking down the hallway with your girlfriends and before you could blink the guys would come up behind you and snap your bra and try to unhook it. It brought a lot of angst for us girls. It was considered “cool” by the other boys. Where these boys terrible people? No. They were young boys that were going through their own stuff but it wasn’t right what they were doing. And at the time, none of us said anything to the teachers because the boys would have shamed us further and made us further into the bad guys in the situation. And at that age, we all wanted to be accepted.
No one has any right to touch another part of someone else’s body without their agreement. Seeing how her back was turned and she was in the middle of a conversation, she wasn’t even given a chance to disagree or agree. His desire to overcome his shyness does not trump the freedom she deserves to have in saying “yes” or “no”.
Which is a great point about ownership of a body, but it still doesn’t imply she is a trophy to him. And when you say I wanted to talk more about my personal life, you failed to understand my point. Don’t tell me what I am trying to do, I know what I wanted to talk about and it wasn’t what you thought.
For me it doesn’t even matter if she’s the prettiest or a nerd or goth or whatever trope or type you want to throw in there. Or even if he kissed to Prom King (or some other male classmate instead).
People are people NOT toys or objects to win …
BOTTOM LINE: One shouldn’t be kissing someone else without consent.
What if the young man had stolen the principal’s parking spot, walked into the gym and up to within about 2 feet of the young woman, paused while looking her in the eye, stepped closer to her and and paused again before putting his arm around her, and leaned in for a kiss, giving her the option of meeting him half way or not?
I think that’s closer to the way first kisses happen. I think it allows her choice in each successive step he takes, and allows him his dignity if she says no or steps back or turns away. If she’s caught her off guard and she doesn’t see where he’s going until he leans in and he’s left leaning in ready for a kiss and she then turns away, well that’s the chancwe he took.
I bring this up because I think it’s plausible and it gets away from the idea that a young man, especially a young man who is a bit less than the ideal, has a choice to be either super bold and at least presumptive as hell, or to be forever celebate.
@The Editors,
So, does it mean,
Wanted Sexual Advance = Bravery?
While reading and watching I could not help but recall one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs/videos, “You Rock My World”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4tpuu-Up90
I totally agree that men and women should not be able to try to kiss or put sexual advances on anyone they would like to… but I am going to continue to be present in each moment and determine when it is or isn’t the right time to kiss. If that moment calls for me asking first, I’ll do that… if it means we both go for it… great!
Sexual assault is one thing… unacceptable. Trying to establish rules and plans to the beautiful dance of a healthy courtship takes away from what it is… a dance.
I am agreeing that you need to ask when the time, moment, and person dictate, but you dismiss all of the people(not just men) who do have a good sense of intuition and recognition of connection. We try to establish rules and regulations for everything in life because we have forgotten what it’s like to be human, to feel, to make mistakes like a girl and boy fumbling on their first kiss.
I absolutely respect everything that has been said, but like this website is about… there are a lot of good men out there and I think we tend to paint them all with the same brush when there are some bad apples. Is this commercial right in the message it’s sending… depends on how you receive it. We all have the right to our own interpretation and our own experiences and thoughts will dictate the emotions we attach to it. Just because it is how our lens of the world sees doesn’t mean it is the way other people should have to see it.
When women start making advances (for real, and not just giving up because it doesn’t work out for them. It doesn’t usually work out for men, either), then they can criticize this kind of thing. Until then, you play the game by the rules that exist, not the rules that would exist in a perfect world.
And really, calling this ‘sexual assault’ is a big part of the reason I ignore all of that ’1-in-4′ nonsense. You lump stuff like this in with actual rape, and you totally lose all credibility. Saying that indicates that you want to see this kid in jail, where he will almost certainly be raped (because again, that’s the real consequence regardless of whether you think it should be or not), just because he made someone uncomfortable.
Really? you’ve never had a woman make an advance toward you? Somehow I find that hard to believe in 2013. In point of fact I get hit on more *now* that I’m pudgy and thus not as conventionally attractive.
However when I was model thin (several illnesses and years ago) – and literally used to do petite modeling for extra cash – often I asked guys out because the nice guys who I wanted to date were often too shy to ask me out. Many years later I even asked a few and they thought I would shoot them down because (and I quote) “you used to be so hot, I thought I didn’t have a chance.” Sad thing is about half of the guys I asked were one’s I would’ve gone out with if they’d just had the courage to ask!
I think most men have not had women hit on them, it’s pretty rare. I’ve had zero women hit on me.
“In point of fact I get hit on more *now* that I’m pudgy and thus not as conventionally attractive.”
You are a woman right? Most women probably get hit on, most men do not. Many women still expect men to hit on them but don’t hit on men themselves.
But that’s the thing I don’t “expect” men (or women) to hit on me.
My preference is that people just start a conversation and go from there. Plus like I said if the other person is shyer than I I’ll often make the approach, not just in romance but in platonic friendships as well.
You are also not all women, I would prefer more women to be like you since it’d make it much easier for me to date as I am a shy man and I also think people should hit on those they like without sticking to silly gender roles. Thing is women like you are still pretty rare which is why many of us men haven’t been hit on, if that is surprising to you I’d rather live where you are since it sounds like women actually do hit on men there often.
Interesting post!
Considering this offers some insights into why this kind of message persists. Here’s the line of thought I’m running through atm: Many guys do feel, privately, to lack bravery when they are trying to meet women. And that lack of bravery can affect their chances – a man who isn’t afraid to go sit by someone and start talking will do better than one who is more passive. It takes both courage and a certain amount of disregard to inject yourself into someone’s day; a certain amount of “I don’t really care if you’re not and this annoys you, because I’m on the hunt and am going to find someone who is interested.”
Walking up and smooching someone is a much much greater degree of imposition than walking up and ruining someone’s solitude, of course. But that idea is probably why it appeals to some people.
Taking a different track, a more honest question might be whether this would ever work or not. Per the prior point, a man who is aggressive, and even persistent, will have more success than one who is passive. However, there’s obviously a limit. Is this something any girl would ever appreciate? If so, you might as well blame evolution it. If not, then the commercial authors created a fiction that is just trouble for everyone.
This is what I took away from it. Dad fully knew what giving the car could mean. Son simply felt empowered to come out from the shadows and pound his chest like Tarzan
That was absolutely one of the most offensive advertisements I have ever seen in my life. What the Hell.