I always tell people that I don’t consider myself a Great Trainer (even though I have the awards and recognition to validate that I am). Rather, I tell them that I am a Good Trainer because the minute I believe I am great, I stop growing in my profession; I peak. I’m too damned young to peak. I often wonder if I should apply that same philosophy to my Parenting and my Husbanding (is that a word? Husbanding? I don’t know. Fuck it. It is now).
My greatest fear is that one day someone will call me out as a fake; an unqualified, you have no clue what you’re doing F-A-K-E and I’ll not be able to prove them otherwise. Anyone with kids knows what I’m talking about. There will come a day when your child realizes that a large portion of what you said to them was pure and simple bullshit. And you will stand there with a made-up grin and simply say “I’m sorry.” A Great Dad would have his apology speech all planned out. Screw you Ward Cleaver! Screw you. But for the rest of us schlubs…errrr….I mean Good Dads, we can only hope that our kids will accept ice cream as a form of apology. Or at least be smaller than us so we can still beat their asses for being disrespectful! Kidding….Children’s Aid….kidding.I’d like to think that I’m doing a good job so far when it comes to raising the monsters children and entertaining the wife. I mean, the kids aren’t out lighting fires and robbing banks….yet. And my wife still seems relatively happy with my antics. I mean, I cook, I clean, I worship the ground she walks on. I really don’t expect much except for the occasional slap and tickle, so I’m pretty low maintenance. But there’s always that nagging little voice in my head that keeps saying “I’m good right? Please validate me……please?”
I’m not really sure I can answer what exactly makes a person great at what they do or who they are. I suppose if you’re not in jail, driving a big ol’ van with Free Candy written on the sides or using your children as monkeys in an organ grinder show, then you’re well on your way to being a “Good” person. If you said “Well…there was that one time….” seek professional help and then reassess your life. For those of us that question our worth day in and day out, don’t listen to the voices in your head. Realize that the difference between good and great is marginal and subjective. If the people in your life love you for you and what you do, then congratulations….keep up the good/great work!
Originally appeared at The Can-eh-dian Kid.
—Photo Shimmer Dog/Flickr