As I mentioned last week, I recently put the finishing touches on the initial draft of my second novel. And while I won’t celebrate that again (though why the hell not), I do want to talk about my mindset as I was writing it.
My new book is a love letter to the healing power of being and doing what sets your soul on fire.
What I’m talking about is the fear that lives inside your mind. The fear of who you are and who you’re not. |
One of my main characters is a legendary and influential musician who has fallen on hard times. He used to lead a critically acclaimed and influential Southern blues-rock band that was popular before my protagonist was born.
And as I’m looking for the right music to get my being and my soul in the right place to be able to write this well, I discovered something on Spotify that I didn’t know existed.
Then I found the video…
Speaking of critically acclaimed and influential Southern blues-rock bands…
All My Friends – Celebrating the songs and voice of Gregg Allman was an all-star concert that took place early in 2014. This CD and accompanying Blu-Ray features some real heavy hitters in the worlds of country, soul, blues, and rock music.
I cannot recommend this more if I tried.
The show closes with a rendition of Will the Circle be Unbroken that must be heard with the heart to be believed. I cried like a baby when I first heard it.
The finish of the main show was a short set by the Allman Brothers Band.
As I’m watching the video, one musician in the all-star portion of the program really stuck out.
He and his shock of solid white curls handled piano duties for most of the night. He appeared to serve as a musical director.
This man’s name is Chuck Leavell.
Chuck is from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He played with the Allman Brothers in their heyday. He’s also played with Eric Clapton, Gov’t Mule, and John Mayer. Currently, he’s the keyboardist and de facto musical director for the Rolling Stones. And he’s been so for better than 30 years.
Perhaps you’ve heard of them?
Chuck’s in his mid 60’s and is still going strong.
There was another pretty fair keyboardist who came up in the early 70s around the time Chuck was making a name for himself. He was also from Alabama and he and Chuck were friends. And he was also friendly with Gregg Allman, Dickey Betts, and many of the members of the Allman Brothers Band.
If still alive, he’d have been in his mid 60s by now.
His name was Tony Hall. But I usually called him Dad.
I’ve written about Dad this space before. And in all honesty, Tony’s story is the inspiration for the main story in my book.
By all accounts, Dad was damn good at what he did. And it’s a shame he got out of it. He got some pressure to get out of it when I came along (I wish I could ask Mom why she put that pressure on him.) But he never got back into playing at the level he was at before I came along.
To paraphrase my uncle – he’d rather stay messed up than do what he needed to do to get his act together to play well again.
While I admire his choice to quit touring for a while when I was born, I believe he regretted not getting back into playing.
Dad’s story is the classic case of personal demons derailing greatness.
Over the years, I’ve gotten all too familiar with the mind of an addict – of which my Dad certainly was. His vices took his life.
The main thing I see out of most addicts that I know is this: they are terrified of who they are and who they’re not.
People addicted to drugs and alcohol live their lives in fear.
So much shame…
These fears I’m talking about live inside someone’s mind. These aren’t fears of spiders, or of someone holding a loaded gun at your nose.
Logical fears to be sure – especially the gun one. I’m afraid of people shoving loaded guns up my nose. Granted, it’s never happened. But I’d be afraid of if it ever did.
The spider one I’ve never understood. But I digress.
What I’m talking about is the fear that lives inside your mind. The fear of who you are and who you’re not.
Taking a big “should” on yourself…so to speak.
These kinds of fears can absolutely paralyze you. They can keep you from getting out of bed and can keep you from making any progress in your life.
These fears can keep you from being and doing what sets your soul on fire.
These kinds of fears can absolutely paralyze you. They can keep you from getting out of bed and can keep you from making any progress in your life.
|
Not unlike what happened to Tony Hall.
I feel like I’m standing on the precipice of some huge, life altering, and mind-blowing greatness right now. I feel it deep in my soul and in my bones that 2018 is going to be the year that my life truly takes off.
This is going to be the year that my business takes off. This is going to be the year that I start making the money that I deserve. This is going to be the year that I’m in the best physical shape of my life. And this is going to be the year that I create long-lasting, deep, meaningful love with an amazing woman.
2018 will be the year I put my stamp on the world – author, coach, king, man, human.
This is all within my grasp. And more.
Here’s something to remember, everybody has these fears. Every human being has these fears.
As well as I know myself, even I have these fears.
The key isn’t to let these fears turn into monsters. Don’t feed them after midnight or get them wet.
Wait…that doesn’t sound right.
Anyway, I’ve got a few tips to remember when you start to get these fears creeping into your life.
- When you feel these fears pulling on you, stop what you’re doing, and just take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Put your hand over your heart, and say out loud – “Remember who you are.” And really take the time to be with the answer. (Shoutout to my magical friend and Magic Time co-host Emily for that one. It works.)
- If these fears really start spinning out of control, take a moment to get mindful of what’s real. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pen on your desk or the water in your water bottle, pick out five things in your immediate space that are real. And say this out loud. “This pen is real. The water in this bottle is real.” It feels weird, but it works.
- If it really starts to get out of control, call a friend. I’ve done this one, and it works. If you trust this person, they can get you re-oriented to just what’s real in the world.
- And by the end, if none of these work, call your life coach!
What? You don’t have a coach? Well, I’m taking on new clientele and I’d love to work with you.
Shoot me an email at [email protected] and we can connect on a sample session.
I firmly believe if my Dad had gotten the support he needed to stay clear of his own fears – and his own addictions – I think that not only would he still be alive, he would still be playing the piano at a high level.
And it could’ve been Tony Hall on that stage with all those music icons instead of Chuck Leavell.
• • •
Shameless shoehorned plug:
- Episode Two of the Be a King podcast is available for download. I recorded a fascinating conversation with Sean Swaby. Sean is a husband, Dad, addiction and recovery therapist, and a leading voice and editor on the Good Men Project. We talk about everything from fatherhood to tough love. It’s a great conversation and I highly encourage you to check it out. Subscribe on iTunes or Google Play.
Photos credit to Predi and Ryan Hall