As a man of age, approaching my eighth decade, I’ve come to an understanding of how I am to be in a right relationship with people of differing generations. It came to me almost in the form of
a mantra, a concise repeated statement that conveys a wise truth.
Men are my brothers.
Women are my sisters.
Older men are my fathers.
Older women are my mothers.
Younger men are my sons.
Younger women are my daughters.
This understanding has changed the way I view people and influenced how I try to treat them. I am now one of the older generation. As an older man, I find fewer and fewer father and
mother figures who are still alive. Those elders I meet, I treat with the deference and respect they deserve. There are, however, many admirable men and women who have passed on that I
am able to honor in my mind and heart as elders. I acknowledge the inspiring examples they have left behind and appreciate the efforts they have made to protect, educate and illuminate
younger generations as we grew to be adults. Nelson Mandela, Ram Dass, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, former President Carter, and Mother Theresa are among those respected elders. In a
way, they are like my parents.
I can certainly relate best to the men and women in my own age group. It feels right and good to take my place among the “brothers and sisters” who are my contemporaries. We Boomers
have lived together through times of change in art, music and social and political upheaval that characterized our generation. With our shared history, we are uniquely suited to understand
each other in ways that older and younger generations cannot. In a way, we are like siblings.
Seeing young men and women as my children has really altered my outlook. I’m more aware now of my responsibility to the younger generation. This “fatherly” parental view has informed
my desire to make the world a better place for ensuing generations. It has given me the juice to write and speak as a mentor. I am now more able and willing to step up to take my place as an
elder wisdom keeper and make an offering of my time, energy, and resources.
This mantra has also helped to purify my relationship to younger women. Seeing them from the perspective of a father, it becomes more difficult for me to view beautiful young women as
sexual objects, nor am I still so unerringly attracted to the images of scantily clad women the media uses to sell products. (At least I try not to be. Old habits sometimes take a while to die).
With the passage of time, the circumstances of the persons in the mantra change. Sons and daughters grow up to become their generation’s brothers and sisters. Then they mature to
share the parental position of fathers and mothers to the generations that come after them. We are all points in an ever-evolving lineage, finding our place as we move from past, to present, to future.
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This post is republished on Agents of Change on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock