No More Mixed Signals

I am no longer in pursuit of my next relationship. I am in pursuit of my best relationship with myself; my hope is to find a partner to come along. They must have their own circus already in progress. Something I can learn from, lean into, and love into. We need bigger ambitions for love. Just getting by is no reason to stay married, no reason to stay alone. A fact of life for me, at this moment, and that’s okay.

She Must Come With a Yes

She’s got to have an ambitious plan of some sort. I don’t need you to be 100% into my stuff, only bring some of your stuff I can learn about and explore with you. She’s got to have her own game. She’s made peace with her divorce, her ex and their disappointments. She’s even come to realize being alone is the most conservative approach.

When we meet, in my fantasy, we are almost giddy. Fascination street. Looking both ways. Ready to step onto a moving train that’s going to change your life?

I don’t know.

Are you ready to change everything about your life? I’m not sure I can say yes to that. I know the right woman, with the right trajectory, will pull me right alongside. There is no convincing that needs to happen. We both know.

Until that time, the pursuit of less-aware participants is not a good use of creative time. So, don’t pursue. Rest. Relax. Regain your super power: optimism.

She must be on her own path. She must “want” a partner but not “need” a partner. She stands in her own power and calls me in, just as I am doing in prayer to her future arrival.

Sparks.

Or we sleep alone.

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Previously Published on The Whole Parent

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