This is a comment by Lars Fisher on the post “It Doesn’t Matter Who Wears the Pants: A Response to Hannah Rosin and The New York Times“.
The original article stated:
“Like everyone of their generation I spoke to, Charles and Sarah Beth Gettys both insisted that Charles was still the ‘head of the household.'”
Lars Fisher said:
“So, I’ve read this a couple of times now, and I’m still mystified. What kind a question is that? Is it really supposed to be a meaningful question in the 21st century? On what planet?
“I can’t imagine anyone asking me that question. Or my wife. Or any of my friends. Or anyone of my generation—not to mention young couples. The concept of a ‘head of the household’ is archaic. I belongs in a world where wife and children are property; I can’t wrap my head around applying that idea to a modern family.
“The fact that this question is asked (and the related question of ‘who wears the pants’) is indicative of how flawed the article is in it premise. The writer is so vested in the idea that there most be a dominant partner, that there must be a provider, a bread-winner in a family, that it’s only a matter of deciding who it is. The notions that both partners are equally providers—and equally caregivers—is apparently lost on Hannah Rosin. Not to mention this roles might be dynamic, changing over time. Hannah Rosin is trying to understand 21st century family and gender roles by mapping everything to family models and gender roles of the 1950’s. The result is a complete failure to see the real change that is happening.
“If you asked me who is the head of my family, I would not be able to give you an answer. Not because I have lost status, or my wife has won status on my expense – but because we have moved our relation to a different place, a place that we believe is much better for both of us and for our children.”
Photo credit: Flickr / kelsey_lovefusionphot