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Many of us have just enjoyed a Father’s day celebration. Father’s Day was started by a woman, Sonora Smart Dodd, who was raised by a single dad, William Smart. He was the sole parent to Sonora and her five brothers after their mother died during childbirth. The first Father’s Day celebration was Sunday, June 19, 1910. But it wasn’t until President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Father’s Day in 1966 and President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of the day in 1972, that Father’s Day became “official.”
For moms, Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at St Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. In 1908, the US Congress rejected a proposal to make Mother’s Day an official holiday, joking that they would also have to proclaim a “Mother-in-law’s Day”. However, in 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation designating Mother’s Day held on the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.
So why did it take 58 years longer (than Mother’s Day) to make Father’s Day official?
This is a result of a society that has intentionally diminished the role and importance of fathers. It’s created an environment where many dads quietly (but unhappily) take the back seat when it comes to parenting. We’re told by TV, media, and sometimes by the women in our lives that we aren’t equipped (or smart enough) to do it. Hollywood has been delivering that negative message about men as fathers since silent movies. Just read this review I wrote about a movie with Meryl Streep, “Ricki and the Flash? Hollywood Tosses Dad Like Trash.”
As many of you know, being a father has been a driving force in my life over the past 30 years. It was almost exactly 20 years when the mother of my 5 kids left us – never to return. I was scared, lonely, bankrupt and I thought all was lost. After all, what does a dad know about raising kids? It turns out, I knew enough to (with blessings from above) raise 5 little kiddies into happy, kind-hearted and successful adults. And there’s nothing extraordinary about me. The potential to be a great parent exists in the heart and mind of every man.
So, I call on everyone to recognize that fathers aren’t the 2nd parent anymore. Dads can be equal parents; they are every bit as capable and love their kids just as much as moms do! And this new view of fathers should have far-reaching effect: in media, in entertainment, in the law for family leave, in the courtroom for custody cases, and in the minds of men everywhere – who should know fatherhood is a blessing, a responsibility and something every man is 100% capable of doing – at least as well as any mom.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images
M hiatt, as a GMP member I commend you for being an example for many men to exemplify. As illustrated in my latest article “To Mom With Love on Father’s Day” your story is a clear example of my upbringing in a single mother household only in reverse with a delinquent father who fell victim to irresponsibility and substance abuse. Stories like yours are a clear and present reminder to society that there are several men like yourself who, like many mothers work twice as hard to compensate for an absentee parent who in your children’s case is the mother.… Read more »
Sorry for the typo at the beginning because I meant to say ‘Matt’.
This has sparked some very heated dialogue (which can be good). I would ask that we all look at how each of us are responsible and forgo the blame that is way too convenient to fall back on. I have struggled to not be passive in this situation and give in to the negativity that permeates this issue. I have also continued to grow in connecting with my children and work with young men to fight the passivity that is so easy to fall in to. Men have to show up and I believe that women do truly appreciate a… Read more »
Women don’t diminish the role of fathers. Patriarchy does. Be glad it’s your role as a father being diminished and not your humanity.
Bullshit. Patriarchy didn’t make women partake in diminishing the roles of fathers. Sure you can argue that patriarchy influenced them but that doesn’t let women off the hook for choosing to partake in diminishing the roles of fathers. Patriarchy isnt some invisible and all powerful force that does things on its own.
And yeah men’s humanity is being diminished as well.
And as women alive today are equally responsible for this culture are any man alive today, we all share the blame equally. Fun when blame is placed on those that have no more power than those placing the blame.
I’ll accept “equally” but it’s only men who are asked to be accountable.
Danny, women don’t take any responsibility for the state of society’s view of men. Troubled kids generally come from single mom parent homes yet the feminists still blame men. All the ills in society are blamed on patriarchy yet you can easily track the decline in family via the feminist movement. And what’s interesting is that fewer and fewer women see themselves as feminist because MANY women found out that life via the feminism plan sucked big time.
Danny, women don’t take any responsibility for the state of society’s view of men.
Aint that the truth. Sweetwood didn’t say the first thing about women blaming women and but look how fast Abhorel and Emily came in and made women the victims of the this article.
There is a knee jerk emotional response that causes people to interpret, “Hey lets help men out” as “Let’s attack women and shut them out of everything”.
But because they are women its allowed to slide and is even encouraged.
You’re right, Abhorel. Women excelling at motherhood does not diminish fatherhood, either. It’s a byproduct of a society that tells men they must provide and women must be the sole caregiver.
Women do not have the systemic power to diminish the role of fathers. If men want their role as fathers to be elevated, they must 1 – show up consistently (the author’s story is not commonplace), and 2 – change the systems they feel diminish their capacity, as they are best posited (read: bestowed the most power) within society to make such changes.
“Women do not have the systemic power to diminish the role of fathers”.
.I think this is a denial of agency……Because it is the very thing that happens in today’s society…..Try on the role of a SAHD and you’ll see tons of pushback from women who are threatened by the role change.
I think its an outright denial of power (and possibly even privilege). Women have for a long time now had the power to diminish fatherhood in various ways ranging from levering the deminization of male sexuality into “men shouldn’t be around children because men are dangerous” to plain old fashion paternity fraud (which at one time was even defended on this very site by some of the contributors).
“Denial” is an understatement
It’s a byproduct of a society that tells men they must provide and women must be the sole caregiver. And women choose to employ that byproduct when it suits them. Women do not have the systemic power to diminish the role of fathers. They do and use it quite well. If men want their role as fathers to be elevated, they must 1 – show up consistently (the author’s story is not commonplace), Damage control. This is part and parcel exactly what would be called minimizing and dismissive if a woman were describing her experiences and a man came in… Read more »
He’s not the common place? He represents single parent “dad” family. His views are real and are based on experience. Reality is also societal view where when dad has the kids, he’s “babysitting.” Would that be said about a women with her kids?
They don’t “feel” diminished, they ARE diminished. YOu don’t have to go any further then the family courts.
Emily, I think that the last part of your sentence is the cornerstone of this publication. Although there are deadbeat fathers society has capitalized on the phenomenon and used the division between the sexes for commercial profit. Hence, consistent rejection from the powers that be (whom are predominantly male) renders many of us feeling powerless professionally, socially, and spiritually. To disagree with one of your points, the Women’s Liberation Movement has proven that your collective power is greatly underestimated. The privilege to abuse that power is what grossly marginalized the importance of manhood that must be restored to achieve healthy… Read more »
If anything men/fathers abdicated their roles by pressure from the feminists who claim they can do it all and that men can’t adapt. If you’re subliminally or overtly told they’re incapable for the number of years that men have been, then they will never adapt.
Our society has demonized men. You see a man hanging around a playground and what you have are people who see him as potential danger. Airlines won’y put children flying alone next to a man … should I go on? This has NOTHING to do with patriarchy and everything to do with discrimination against men.
The defensiveness of the comments is interesting. Nowhere does Sweetwood blame women for diminishing fatherhood. Instead, he says that “society that has intentionally diminished the role and importance of fathers,” and adds that the idea that men aren’t good parents is promoted “sometimes by the women in our lives.” He is not generalizing about all women (note the use of “sometimes”), and women appear in a list of other factors such as the media, TV, Hollywood, and later he adds family courts. As I’ve mentioned before on GMP, this expression of male vulnerability is opposed because it raises uncomfortable questions… Read more »