Lee and Carla are a husband and wife couple affected by abuse and domestic violence, but Lee is the victim.
___
Most dramatizations of domestic violence and abuse show men hurting women and ignore the numbers from the 2010 CDC Intimate Partner Violence study indicating that a substantial percentage of victims are male. This riveting film acknowledges male victims and shows a husband suffering abuse from his wife.
Photo—Daniel Wilkinson/YouTube
Abuse is not a gender specific crime. I’m a heterosexual male and my ex-wife was extremely emotionally abusive, and intermittently physically abusive. People are so willing to believe the stereotype of the man as the abuser. I told people I was being abused and they either laughed, or thought I was trying cover up something I had done. Another one I hear if I try to use any proof, is that men who are claiming abuse are making up false statistics to support their claim. Your video is close to what my life was like. My new wife is great,… Read more »
Thankyou for sharing my video on your website
The tv show “Snapped” is very revealing. A lot of stories about women who murder
I’d still like to hear a woman comment on this.
No flaming, just a point of view.
I am sure there are women that have brothers who are in relationships like this, where children are involved.
I got a feeling GMP is going to get a lot of heat for this article.
But I think its something that had to be talked about.
Hi Angel, why would GMP get heat for sharing this article? And who would the heat come from? Have you seen heat received for articles discussing DV of men on GMP? Articles that address DV against women is not a popular topic around here; and I have seen heat for those articles. But I have not seen an article addressing DV against men receive “heat” for doing so. Domestic abuse and violence is horrible no matter who it is happening to. The video above was hard to watch. I was even less comfortable with it then when seeing DV against… Read more »
Erin: Hi. Thank you for your reply and comments on this subject. I am very impressed with what you said here. The fact that your brother was in an abusive relationship and how it effected his future behaviour speaks volumes. In some ways, I could see the Karma in that, as he abused you before his experience. Abuse is very hard especially when it comes from people we live with inside the home. When they are family, it makes it worse. I also liked the fact that you touched on the personality type of your brother was. All male victims… Read more »
Angelguy, thank you for giving acknowledgement to what I went through too. I have talked here and there in pieces about the abuse I went through on this website in various topics but have never received a direct comment from a man acknowledging what I shared. You’re the first to do so. It’s frustrated me at times since I see some men make very supportive and intelligent comments regarding the abuse of men. Yes, I think you are right that a strong male figure will be taken less seriously when he is the victim of abuse. He may also have… Read more »
“I wonder why most male DV victims would be Fathers opposed to a relationship with no children. Do you have any insight into that?” Erin: Most of the time, victims of DV who are Fathers don’t recognize the difference between real Abuse and a Wife complaining. It all comes down to what one grows up with. If Mom and Dad are screaming at each other, and settle their disputes after arguing, then the kids are going to emulate that growing up unconsciously. Children absorb everything that their parents put out, whether they like it or not. We all have different… Read more »
bobbt, good point and its shown in the film, she would do whatever it takes to make herself the victim and many women do just that. The only option this guy has is to leave her and take it again on the chin and lose custody of his child. Law enforcement in this country is clearly untrained as to better identifying the perpetrator as being a women. Reality is that our society in general is trained to believe women are the victims. We have a ton of work to do to bring light to this issue. I applaud GMP for… Read more »
‘Speak Out’, to who? Can’t call the police. They show up, she says she was defending herself, he goes to jail! Most of the domestic abuse hotlines aren’t even set up to take calls from male victims. No, the only thing young Lee can do is to leave. Hopefully he has somewhere he can go to as there are no shelters for abused men. I hope he’s not too connected to his young child as his visitation time will be curtailed. True story, several years ago a shelter for battered women opened around the corner from me. I thought this… Read more »
“Most dramatizations of domestic violence and abuse show men hurting women and ignore the numbers from the 2010 CDC Intimate Partner Violence study indicating that a substantial percentage of victims are male. ” I hate to say that it’s money, but I suspect in large part that it is. A lot of the shelters either won’t serve men or if they do will provide men a voucher for a hotel room. A lot of them don’t market to men I suspect it’s because they want to lower their costs. A shelter with 200 rooms for women are going to have… Read more »
GMP:
I am very impressed with this movie. I think this hits home for many men who are in relationships like this.
The most difficult part of watching a film like this, is taking this seriously, as threatening because the Male ego gets in the way.
I would be interested in knowing what Women will think of this film after seeing it. if they feel the Man is a victim or just a wimp.
Angelguy
He was 100% the victim. The fact that he’s a man is irrelevant to me. Abuse is not okay, it doesn’t make it even a little okay just because the abuser is a woman and the victim is a man. It would still be wrong if the couple was LGBT. Although it breaks my heart to see even a re-enactment of domestic abuse I am so incredibly grateful for people who get the word out there that it does happen. I’m glad that more and more men are speaking up and against violence towards men. It should never be acceptable.… Read more »
Hey, if he hits back defending himself, or even grabs her arm and leaves a bruise, he’s definitely going to jail! So yeah, he has to be a wimp, cover up and take the blows, and when she ‘tires out’ and stops, LEAVE!