Gentlemen in Training
The Case for Manners for Today’s Young Men – Part 10
In teaching my sons the art of gentlemanly behavior, there’s an unspoken maxim that’s emerged. While refining our manners might appear to be for the benefit of the women and girls in our lives, the core foundation is to understand how to treat each other as men. Knowing how to communicate, collaborate, and cooperate with other guys is, after all, vital for our survival.
This came into sharp focus over the holidays when my sons and I checked into a hotel in our own city for three nights to have some father and sons time, and to give my wife and their Mommy some much needed home alone time.
While there was plenty of goofing off, roughhousing, eating junk food, and discussing football, there was a lot of checking in on each other, taking care of needs and wants, and sharing of feelings. At random times, one of them would say they loved me, or the other would say I was his best friend. At one of our dinners out, my two-year-old said he was having a “nice relaxing time.” There were also a lot of “thank you’s” going around.
With Mommy not in the room with us, I sensed a natural increase in our abilities to provide emotional nourishment and support for one another. We moved and operated as a team, respecting each other’s strengths and weaknesses, celebrating in victories, and soothing the setbacks. A genuine sentiment of caring and nurturing—often prompted by the presence of our female anchor—grew organically among us.
Those three days alone with my sons helped me cultivate a resolution: set a new standard of what it means to have a weekend with the guys. I’m not taking about what activities—good or bad—unfold. And it doesn’t have to be constrained to a weekend. It could be any length of time: a morning, an afternoon, a few minutes. This is more about taking and making the time to work on your gentlemanly skills with other men. Re-engage with what it means to be present for a fellow man. Listen to them, praise them, be there for them. What you rehearse with your compadres will come back tenfold, when you have the chance to be a gentleman for a lady.
Manners Matter: Part 1 of the Gentlemen in Training series
PC or Not PC: Part 2 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Brotherly Love: Part 3 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Gentleman Up: Part 4 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Pick Your Battles:Part 5 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Ladies and Gentlemen: Part 6 of the Gentlemen in Training series
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Part 7 of the Gentlemen in Training series
I Feel You, Bro: Part 8 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Table Talk: Part 9 of the Gentlemen in Training series
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Photo by Les Anderson on Unsplash