When the stork visits a momma bird and a daddy bird . . . hold up! I am not talking about the birds and the bees. I am not a sex-ed teacher. I am talking about the talk with my two daughters about their father . . . me.
Who he is, what drives him, how his life is better since their arrival—AND—his sexuality.
Discussing the whole idiosyncrasy gamut that comprises myself and my daughters is imperative for me and for them. Imperativeness because it is important in remaining my authentic self to my children, and living up to the mission and goal of every father: raising their children to be wholesome, respectful, and caring individuals toward all people.
Having my daughters understand who I am will contribute to their understanding of others, and their ability to emphasize and sympathize. Our society is becoming more diverse, eccentric, and the critical need for unbiased living is paramount. So, how will I go about unveiling myself to my daughters? I will tell both when it’s most appropriate. It may be together, but it may be separately depending upon evaluating how both will react as they grow into young adults.
Here are a few thoughts on how I will unveil myself to them, but I am sure these may change, morph, and other ways will be added nearer to the actual time of my reveal.
It is my opinion that every family needs communication and honesty. Communicating in an honest way builds respect, trust, and deep-seeded bonds. Communicating who you are without any veils or facades allows others to see a genuine, authentic person who has enough confidence to have self-love and know that others will give reciprocal, unconditional love.
Honesty requires confidence which, in turn, requires patience. I need to understand when the appropriate time comes to have the talk. Revealing a critical essence of my character to my daughters will require tact, and this diplomacy will without a doubt confront shock, disbelief, and questions from my daughters. This is why I will need the utmost confidence, and to display and communicate the highest confidence toward my daughters with who I am. In turn, I pray and hope my daughters will display the utmost confidence when describing their father to others, and their confidence and honesty will proliferate onto others.
Without vulnerability; authenticity is not accentuated but lost. Openness creates trust and strengthens connections. If I didn’t display weakness and come across as defenseless to my two daughters while revealing my bisexuality, then they both wouldn’t understand the significance and sincerity of my revelation. By being vulnerable, I am allowing my daughters to learn the power of introspection and self-growth and I can explain the emotions, fear, and anxiety associated with positive growth. I will be able to teach my daughters that these feelings are quite appropriate when confronting important, positive character-building experiences.
I will also discuss with both my daughters my bisexuality to instill the value of tolerance. In a society that is becoming more global and diverse, becoming more open-minded and broadening one’s comfortability is essential. Instead of discussing class and racial issues strictly; discussing my sexuality spectrum involves class, racial/ethnicity groups, men, and women, etc. Sexuality hits the whole diversity spectrum needed to know and succeed in this global society, among of course many other appropriate life lessons. Being tolerant of sexuality will better prepare my daughters to be sympathetic and empathetic toward all walks of life.
Having The Talk
Lastly, I will have the talk with my daughters about my sexuality for them to know their father. Growing up and still to this day, I know I do not totally understand and know all about my father. I mean I have a fairly good sense, but not to the extent that I believe I should. Divulging my sexuality to my daughters along with everything else that defines me will teach my two little girls that expressing your true self is OK. Being afraid to express your whole self is not acceptable, and it is essential for my daughters to fully understand that others will continue to love them afterward. If others do not, then they are not worthy to receive my daughters’ love.
Finally, I will have the talk with my daughters because, in turn, I want them to talk to me, their father about who they are, what makes them tick, and what I can do to support their happiness.