Self-doubt kills confidence.
Have you ever sold yourself short despite achieving your goals or living your best life? Or have there been times when you’re not comfortable in your own skin? Or does relying on others’ validations make you feel better about yourself?
As I’ve been there, I totally understand how self-doubt can rip off your confidence and make you feel scared, especially during the times when you need it the most. Maybe in a job interview, during your meetings, or at a party where you hardly know anyone.
Improving your confidence and eliminating unwanted traces of self-doubt provide you with a sense of security, evokes positive emotions, and increases your overall performance. Here are some powerful tricks that helped me improve my confidence when I believed myself the least:
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Falling in love with positive self-talk
When was the last time you engaged in positive self-talk? According to research, positive self-talk, when done regularly, improves your confidence and helps you build endurance during complicated tasks.
“Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.”― David Taylor-Klaus
You know yourself better than anyone else. You know your story. You know how far you’ve come by fighting against all challenges that life threw at you.
Reflect on your achievements and take a moment every day to appreciate your strengths and remind yourself that ‘You Rock!’.
Instead of seeking validation from others for your appearance and thoughts, indulge yourself in self-talk by reflecting on your thoughts and giving yourself constant reminders for your unique qualities.
When I find myself all over the place at work and feel unconfident if I’d be able to achieve a specific goal, positive self-talk comes to my rescue. I tend to replace ‘Oh no, I won’t be able to do it’ with ‘What can I do to complete this task efficiently?’.
This one shift in the mindset not only lessens my anxiety but also makes me realize that at times, I can be my own guide.
How to:
Before you make yourself comfortable with optimistic self-talk, identify negative thoughts you have about yourself. And then replace them with positive thoughts.
Besides, you can practice self-talk with positive affirmations. Having this internal talk boosts confidence and makes you feel good about yourself.
Though my favorite ones are ‘I am strong and worthy’, ‘I am grateful for everything I have’, ‘I embrace my imperfections’, you can create your own list to remind yourself of your positives and appreciate your negatives.
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Believing in their capabilities to thrive
Confident people embrace the fact that everything won’t happen the way they want. They are comfortable with getting rejected (even if it’s the 100th time). They don’t take failure personally. Without being distressed and demotivated, they keep going and don’t stop believing in themselves.
The only thing that separates them from the unconfident folks is that they continue to believe in their potential, learn from their shortcomings, and work their way up personally and professionally.
Confidence isn’t optimism or pessimism, and it’s not a character attribute. It’s the expectation of a positive outcome. — Rosabeth Moss Kanter
It’s all in your head. How you think of yourself directly affects your confidence. The more you believe in yourself, the more your personality will shine.
How to:
Know your goals and consistently work towards achieving them (without worrying about the outcomes or self-sabotaging yourself). Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of thinking, ‘Why this is happening to me’, think ‘I’ve got this, and will put my best foot forward in overcoming this situation’.
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Going fearless when communicating their own thoughts
We live in a society with different values, cultures, opinions, and thoughts. And sometimes, we’re too scared to open up or even share our thoughts with others because we’re not sure how the other person(s) will perceive them.
Have you ever seen a confident person being clumsy when communicating their thoughts?
That’s because they are clear about what they want to say, respect others’ opinions as much as they respect their own, and know when to create boundaries. Most importantly, they don’t live to please people.
When you prioritize others’ needs before your own, and don’t feel courageous enough to speak for yourself, when needed, what impression of yourself you’ll be creating in others’ minds? Okay, let’s forget about others. What image will you make of yourself, and will you be even proud of it?
How to:
Be okay with saying no if something doesn’t interest you. Make your boundaries evident for yourself and everyone. Besides ensuring the clarity of your thoughts, you can take your confidence one notch higher by striking assertive body language.
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In the past years, I’ve learned that confidence is not about being perfect, nor will it come from achieving something extraordinary. It lies within ourselves and taking persistent steps every day will bring you one step closer to being confident.
Lastly, be gentle to yourself and take your sweet time to be there. Show self-compassion, believe in yourself, and be willing to communicate freely.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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