It happened a couple weeks ago.
She said no.
It hurt right away, and then it really hurt. Then it pulsated. It moved through my body, messed with my head, messed with other areas of my life, wakes me up in the middle of the night, got me sick, and continued to hurt.
It’s a live roller coaster with no stop button. I wanted this girl bad. I was in very deep. She wasn’t in at all. Absolutely devastating.
If you’re in a similar position, I’m here to say we will get through this and the grass will be greener on the other side. I know it doesn’t seem possible right now, but that’s because your mind is warped from all the emotional turmoil going on.
Here are a few positive habits that’ve been pushing me through this roller coaster.
Working More
I am at a point right now that I do not want to be alone. It makes me devolve into the uglier thoughts my mind can come up with so I do the best I can to stay busy.
Crazily enough, that means I actually like working right now.
I don’t even look forward to my off days, I look forward to my work days because I want to be doing something productive while I’m working through this mess.
You may very likely feel the same way. If work isn’t this way for you, or you need to “pick up more hours” for yourself to stay busy and productive, try doing things like cleaning out your closet or accomplishing a task that you’ve been letting go for months.
When you have that person on your mind 24/7, any kind of productive task that you can get stuck into with a healthy level of focus is a great break and a subtle reminder to yourself that life will go on without them (very important to remember).
Working Out
I’m a high energy person so I like to work out, however, this rejection has sapped my energy.
I can’t even talk enthusiastically like I normally do. It’s strange to hear how somber my own tone inflection is right now.
But even though I have less energy to give right now, I still like to go work out. Yes, because it’s a very positive habit to practice, but more importantly, because it’s my therapy session with myself.
I get to listen to whatever music I want to hear that day while I ride the stationary bike and completely escape this nightmare. It’s like jumping into another reality to me and thank gosh for it. I need it now more than ever.
If you don’t go to a gym or don’t love exercise, try other activities like walking, drawing, writing, or whatever lets you mentally escape the confines of your mind.
I also like to shoot my bow and arrows in the back yard when it’s nice out. Anything that allows you to access a flow state or meditative state is helpful.
Stay Around Family and Friends
Getting rejected or broken up with or ghosted can really be a cold reminder of how lonely life is.
When these things happen, I find it to be traumatic enough, and I feel that it’s time to regroup with the people that you can be certain will be there for you.
For me, that’s my parents first and foremost. I’ve spent the last several days sleeping at my parents house again because that rejection was bitter and I needed to feel “at home” in some way.
I have my own apartment, but sometimes you need to take care of yourself beyond logical measures. I also am currently sick, which I have a sneaking suspicion had a lot to do with my weakened state from my situation.
I also have a couple real friends that I can confide in. Although I don’t get to see them all the time, it’s a real blessing to have friends who will actually be there for you and most importantly, not feed you B.S.
Both of them gave me advice surrounding this girl I was interested in but allowed me to make my own decisions about it. They didn’t sugarcoat anything or tell me things I wanted to hear and I appreciate them for that.
Use the family, friends, or other resources you have to get yourself back to baseline. Don’t feel bad about it either. If they’re your real allies, that’s what they’re there for.
You would do the same for them!
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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