I know you’re sick of all the toxic games people play in online dating.
It’s hard to believe there’s a single soul out there who genuinely wants to build a long-lasting relationship. It’s too frustrating that you want to quit — only to reinstall it again the next week.
In modern dating, every behavior seems to have a name for it. And if you’re new or making your comeback after years of hiatus, here are some basic dating trends that you should know:
Love-Bombing
This behavior is pretty easy to spot.
It starts with way too much attention in the beginning and it eventually dies down within a week or two.
While the reason for the love-bombers might vary, it’s still one of the most annoying behaviors out there.
It can wreck your self-esteem because after a full week (or month) of constant calls/texts, they suddenly show they’re no longer interested.
They’ll treat you like a princess and you’ll feel loved. Heck, you might even think you finally found the “one”.
But after they’re slowly backing off in a matter of weeks, you now realize you’re nothing but a pit stop to them.
It hurts but there’s nothing you can do to change their minds. In fact, you shouldn’t even try in the first place.
Ghosting
Ghosting is the new trend that young people nowadays like to use when they aren’t truly interested in someone who’s chasing them.
The worst part about it is they never tell you upfront. They never tell you that the fling between you two isn’t real and you should move on.
Instead, they take an extreme move by “disappearing” from your life all of a sudden but you know they aren’t dead. You still see their Instagram stories update every now and then.
Ghosting to me is you have options, to be honest, yet one chooses to be such a coward.
It’s actually more hurtful than having someone tell you in your face that they don’t like you anymore.
Orbiting
Surprisingly, people who pull this orbiting game are usually the same people who ghosted you earlier.
They have a second thought about passing you by and want to enter your life again without telling you they want to be in your life.
So what do they do?
They stalk your social media, like every picture you posted or comment on your latest life updates. All of a sudden, you see their name again all over social media.
People who got orbited often feel confused because “what the heck does this person want right?”
But hear me out, their confusion shouldn’t bother you anymore.
Let them be. If they aren’t sure what they want to say in your life, then it’s a good sign for you to completely move on from them.
Breadcrumbing
Another dating trend that frustrates people is breadcrumbing.
It’s a behavior where they give you little attention here and there but the relationship is never going anywhere — even after a year of hanging out together.
They never tell you that they want to commit to you and they obviously aren’t cool with you going out with other people.
But how do you know you’re the only one for them? That’s the tricky part.
People who breadcrumb others would do it so subtly that it takes a long time for you to find out all the truth.
That’s why you also see many people out there saying they’ve wasted months (or even years) of their life with one person.
In short, when being breadcrumbed you’ll feel so confused about whether this person is actually like you or not.
The Bottom Line
Knowing those trends are important to make you aware of certain behaviors inside the dating app.
You don’t want to be that person who keeps being played emotionally over and over again.
The best advice out there for those who are in the online dating pool is to be yourself and always learn how to manage your expectations.
And I couldn’t agree more with it.
Finding someone for just a casual hook-up is easy, but a lifetime partner? Not so much.
So it’s much better to take your time and not let other people tell you what you should/shouldn’t do.
At the end of the day, you’re the one who’ll be in a relationship — not them.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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