Everyone has a Drama Llama in their lives.
They’re the toxic drainers, the exhausting personalities, the negative Nancies.
They’re people who create drama wherever they go, who thrive in chaos and crises, and push your buttons until you feel emotionally overwhelmed.
Some might be strangely unaware of the negative impact they have on you, while others unapologetically derive pleasure from wreaking havoc all around them.
Of course, the longer you keep that kind of people in your life, the more emotional distress you invite into your life — along with the danger of becoming a drama llama yourself.
You can’t hope to distance yourself from the drama llamas you’ll encounter throughout your life until you learn to recognize them. What follows is a description of five types of drama llamas that you should avoid bringing into your life at all costs.
The Gossip Girl/Boy
“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
As you can probably guess, a gossip girl/boy lives for gossip.
They seem to know everything about everyone. They’re the first ones to learn about other people’s misfortunes, spread harmful rumors, and engage in indiscreet talk.
Surely, most of us indulge in a bit of gossip from time to time. But the habit of repeatedly and unapologetically talking about people behind their backs (and not caring about potentially hurting them), is indicative of an untrustworthy, insecure, and even malicious personality.
Plus, one thing you can be certain of is that someone who derives pleasure from sharing negative gossip about others with you, sooner or later will also gossip about you behind your back.
The Mama’s Boy/Daddy’s Girl
“. . . we shouldn’t always have what we want: it spoils the best of us, doesn’t it?” — Anne Brontë, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
A mama’s boy or daddy’s girl is usually a spoiled and immature person, used to always having their way and thinking they’re the center of the universe.
Because their mom or dad catered to their every need and want, they grew up self-absorbed and highly inflated. That means that they don’t take no for an answer, will do anything to get what they want at all costs, and probably violate all your boundaries.
We’re talking about people who, all they want to talk about is themselves — so they’re not willing to listen to your problems. If you’re going through a stressful period and can’t shower them with attention and praise they’ll act out. And if you want to take a mutual decision or solve a problem together? Don’t expect that to happen without getting their parents involved.
The Judge Judy
“It is not for me to judge another man’s life. I must judge, I must choose, I must spurn, purely for myself. For myself, alone.” — Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
No one enjoys being around an overly judgmental person.
You know, the ones who consistently criticize you, see the worst in every situation, and give you their very unhelpful and overly judgemental opinion on every single action you take?
They’re a nightmare.
They usually latch onto every one of your small mistakes and bad acts, label you based on isolated events, and expect you to be perfect at all times. Once in their company, you’re not allowed to make any mistakes.
The worst part? If you try to confront them about their behavior, they’ll quickly dismiss you by saying that their judgment is “simply the truth”.
The Disaster Magnet
“Often the villain plays the victim very well.” — Karen Salmansohn
Some people are like drama magnets: wherever they go, drama follows — or maybe they are the ones who invite it.
These people thrive on chaos. Being by their side can feel like walking in a field of landmines. One moment everything in their lives seems to be going smoothly and the next? Everything crumbles to pieces.
They’re broke, their partner cheated on them, a friend betrayed them, their boss fired them. Bad things keep happening. And no matter how much help and solutions you offer, you’ll notice that in reality, deep down they don’t want to fix anything.
Why? Because they need drama and crises in order to feel important — and they won’t hesitate to make you part of the drama as well.
The Energy Moocher
“People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely” — Hans F. Hasen
Energy moochers are easily recognizable because they all have one thing in common: they drain your emotional energy and make you feel sad and miserable, even if you spend just ten minutes in their company.
They only have bad things to say whenever you see them, are unhappy about everything, and will always find something negative to mention about your own life as well.
They take advantage of your willingness to listen and help them and place their problems squarely on your shoulders, acting like a martyr and relying on guilt trips.
Some of the above characteristics might not show themselves at the beginning of a relationship or a friendship with a drama llama; after all, that’s when we all make an effort to show our best behavior.
However, if you’re careful and pay close attention to their behavior, you’ll probably pick up some hints that’ll betray their true selves. Trust your gut instinct; if a person makes you feel uneasy when in their company, or emotionally tired after seeing them, there’s gotta be a reason for that.
And remember: trying to change a drama llama is a waste of time. Kindness, affection, or love, can’t change a person, especially someone whose personality has toxic elements.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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