Being attractive is not only about physical appearance and yes, we do get attracted to someone based on their looks (let’s all admit that, haha)
But being attracted to someone’s looks can quickly fade away once that person has a bad attitude and personality. I don’t know who said this but I love this statement:
“Beauty fades but character remains.”
One day you will get older, and you will notice the youthful beauty you once had has faded away, so what do you have all left? Your character.
I will say that being attractive isn’t always a romantic thing. When you have an attractive character/personality, you open up new doors of opportunities waiting for you such as careers, projects, collaborations, etc.
Work on your character/personal development now.
You won’t regret it.
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1# You Stay Calm When Someone Is Angry.
“To lose patience is to lose the battle.”
– Mahatma Gandhi.
You have the ability to remain composed and calm when someone shows anger or hatred towards you. You know they are just reflecting their own hatred of you. You don’t take it personally. You know it’s not about you.
You understand that reacting impulsively can escalate the situation, making it worse, and responding with calmness can calm the tension.
When you have the patience of a warrior, you become attractive to the people around you. It shows that you have strength.
When a toxic person gets angry at you, they lose the battle. When you remain calm, you win the battle. You become an instantly attractive person.
Here’s an example.
- You have a relative confronting you with a silly problem by being so angry for no reason (mostly toxic family members) instead of responding back with reciprocating anger, you stay calm and respond back in peace so the situation doesn’t escalate. You do this while setting healthy boundaries.
How to apply.
- Pause and Breathe: Before responding to an angry person, take a deep breath and pause. This moment can help you regain control of your emotions.
- Empathize: Try to understand the other person’s perspective and feelings. Empathy can go a long way in calming the anger.
- Stay Assertive, Not Aggressive: Express your own thoughts and feelings assertively but without aggression. Maintain respect for both yourself and the other person.
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2# You Take Nothing Personally.
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you.”
— Don Miguel Ruiz.
Extremely attractive people have thick skin. You don’t internalize criticism or negative comments. You understand that people’s actions and words often reflect their own insecurities and experiences.
For the most part, it’s never about you. You don’t take it personally because people don’t know you personally. Why do you care about the opinion of a stranger who hasn’t even had a face-to-face conversation with you?
The way you don’t take anything personally shows your confidence in yourself, and when you’re confident like this, you appear more attractive.
If they don’t know you, they don’t know you. Their words don’t matter.
Here’s an example.
- You read a comment online where someone is criticizing you and they don’t know you. How do you react to it? You laugh at their comment, but you don’t take it seriously, because you’re thinking, “This person makes rude comments about me, yet has never talked to me, how silly!” You either ignore the person or you block them. You never give them a single moment of your worthy attention.
How to apply.
- Practice Self-Love: Develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-love. When you value yourself, the opinions of others don’t matter anymore.
- Remember It’s About Them, Not You: When someone criticizes or judges you, remind yourself that it’s a reflection of their own issues. If they criticize people, they criticize themselves… At home, where you don’t see it.
- Focus on Growth: Instead of dwelling on criticism, use it as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Ask yourself, “What have I learned from this?”
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3# You Know Who You Are.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson.
You may not know who you are right now because you’re in your 20’s still trying to figure life out and that’s okay, take your time.
When I was in my early 20s I didn’t fully know who I was. I was still trying to figure life out, but now I understand more about who I am and the type of person I am and aspire to be as I’m turning 29 this year.
When you have a sense of knowing who you are, you appear more authentic and someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves even if it means people will judge them.
That makes you attractive; you know who you are and you don’t care if people like you or not.
Here’s an example.
- You know who you are when you’re able to admit your mistakes because you know that you have so much to learn, yet. You know your strengths and weaknesses such as being a good writer (strength) and being nervous in public speaking (weakness) You are not afraid of taking risks in life because you know you will learn a lot from taking risks such as traveling to a new country or going for that job interview.
How to apply:
- Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and passions. Understanding yourself is the first step to being authentic. The good thing is you get to see a different (amazing) version of you every time you talk to a different person.
- Stay True to Your Values: Don’t compromise your values or beliefs for the sake of fitting in or pleasing others. You can’t please everyone. Stop pleasing people and you become 10x more happier in who you are.
- Embrace Imperfections: Accept your flaws and imperfections. They are part of what makes you unique and attractive. No one is perfect anyway. Be imperfect and you become relatable to people.
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4# You Have an Amazing Personality.
“Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.”
— Elmer G. Letterman.
Attractive people become 10x times more attractive when they have vibrant and magnetic personalities. Your beauty may fade away, but your character will always remain.
When you’re an amazing person to be around, you become someone people want to see again next time. You become unforgettable.
People will perceive you as someone who is positive, friendly, has a sense of humor, and is simply a relatable person for many people.
There is nothing wrong with getting a glow-up and looking good but you should never let your natural beauty get in your head, or you become less attractive when you have a bad attitude and dislikable personality.
Here’s an example.
- One of the ways to have an amazing personality is to have empathy for people. You are able to understand and share the feelings of others. You always listen to people’s concerns and offer support when it’s needed. You console a friend who is going through a tough time, showing genuine understanding and compassion. That right there? That makes you attractive because you have an amazing personality.
How to apply:
- Cultivate Positivity: Focus on the positive aspects of life and maintain an optimistic outlook. Positivity is contagious. Your optimism can motivate people to never give up.
- Be a Good Listener: Show genuine interest in others by listening actively and asking questions. People appreciate being heard. Don’t make it about you, make it about them. They will ask about your life anyway (unless they are narcissists)
- Use Humor Wisely: A good sense of humor can break the ice and create connections. Use humor to lighten the mood and make people feel comfortable. You can turn a tense moment into a light-hearted moment by using humor.
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5# You’re a Very Smart Person.
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
— Socrates.
You’re a very smart person and smart people know that they know nothing, yet. Just like the quote says above. You’re humble when you don’t know something.
There is something empty about having beauty but no brains. Don’t just fall for someone because of their beauty, ask yourself, “Does this person bring any value to my life?”
When you’re with a smart person, you know they will make smart decisions in life (for the most part, we’ll still make mistakes)
In my own preference, I can accept compliments but I care more about having conversations about valuable topics.
People become more attractive when they show signs of intelligence and have the desire to learn more about life. You are open to learning, growing, and expanding your horizons.
Here’s an example.
- When something difficult happens, you remain calm and composed. You don’t freak out at the situation. You think about solutions to the problem, guide those around you to safety, and make rational decisions. You know that having calm energy in those situations can have a calming effect. Your ability in this situation makes you attractive in times of trouble.
How to apply:
- Read and Learn: Make reading a habit. It’s a great way to acquire knowledge and stimulate your intellect. Even if it means reading one page of a book every day, it doesn’t matter, just stay consistent.
- Seek New Experiences: Step out of your comfort zone and explore new experiences. See the world, try new hobbies or skills. Having a skill adds more color to your character. This makes you more interesting to others.
- Always Be Curious: Ask questions, seek understanding, and approach life with a curious mind. Curiosity is a sign of intelligence. When you can have open communication with your significant other, you appear more attractive.
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On a Final Note…
These habits can help you become more attractive in the dating world.
People shape their opinion of you by the way you carry yourself, interact with people, and navigate the difficulties happening in your life.
As you work on these habits, remember the words of Maya Angelou, a renowned poet and civil rights activist:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Sonnie Hiles on Unsplash