No matter what your situation or reasoning, a breakup is rarely a pretty thing. But the good news is, the single life experience can be.
Whether you were broken up with, or you were the one doing the breaking up, the process is never necessarily easy. Sometimes, we break up with people we still love. Sometimes, we break up with people because we are not in love with them anymore.
Other times, we are broken up with, and we are left feeling alone. No matter what your situation or reasoning, a breakup is rarely a pretty thing. But the good news is, the single life experience can be. Here’s why:
It’s Not A Curse
Being “single” is not a bad thing, and I will never understand why people see it that way. Why do so many people treat the single life as the prologue to marriage instead of the adventure it is all on its own?
Being single doesn’t have to mean you’re preparing for a relationship; it’s an awesome time to figure out who you are by yourself.
By definition, single means, “Only one. Not one of several.” So this one is for you, recently single or never-been-in-a-relationship people: Who says it takes two? One is most certainly enough.
Some steps need to be taken solo; it’s the only way to truly figure out where we need to go and whom we need to be.
You Can Be Unapologetically Who You Are
I am not going to lie, when you are completely and unapologetically true to who you are, some people and friends will fall away. It is not because you are doing anything wrong; it’s quite the opposite.
When I started being true to myself and realizing what I loved to do after my breakup, my new interests were not in tune with my some of my friends’ interests.
It does not mean they are bad people or that I don’t like them anymore. I am simply different than I was before. Rest assured knowing new and better people will fit who you are now and take their place. When you are in a healthy, happy place, you will attract those people in return.
You might even become closer to friends with whom you previously had ties. Focus on those friendships; those friends will not judge you. A person on a mission needs no permission.
You Can Become Your Own Better Half
The moment I realized that I am in control of my own happiness, my life changed completely. Growing up, I always heard about being my significant other’s “other” or “better” half.
Although this idea sounded nice in theory, it did not seem to make that much sense. If you feel like you need another person to “complete” you, what happens if he or she disappears?
We should strive to find the value within ourselves, first and foremost, before we try to find our value through someone else. Find a person who complements who you already are instead of completing you.
Then, when somebody is lucky enough to touch your heart, you can invite him or her into your already whole, happy life. Is it important to find a person who makes you want to better yourself? Absolutely. But feeling complete is not and has never been about finding the right person; it’s about becoming the right person.
It’s About You
Someone does not have to be a terrible person to be the wrong person for you. In fact, my ex was awesome. Some people called me crazy for breaking up with him; others told me it was the right decision because I am “so young.”
But the fact of the matter was that I did it for me, not for anyone else. I did not feel the need to explain to everyone my reasoning at the time. If we are being completely honest, although my ex was great, I kept trying to turn him into something he wasn’t, which was not fair to either of us.
We have to see things as they are, not as we want them to be. Otherwise, we could spend years dating someone’s “potential.” Whether or not you did the breaking up, if letting go of a relationship is what you need to do to feel better about yourself, then by all means do it.
I did not break up with my ex because he was a bad person. Remember, this is about you, and just because others are questioning your decision, doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
You Can Enjoy Your Freedom
Do not be afraid of being alone. Go explore, sweet spirit. What do you have to lose? Learn a new hobby, jump out of a plane, read books, eat weird foods, travel or even rest.
Do not fear embarrassment or other people’s opinions. Figure out you for you because you are free, and your opportunities are endless. Learn to allow the space between where you are and where you want to be to inspire you, not terrify you. Spread your wings and embrace your freedom.
Being single has been one of the most rewarding times of my life. If a special someone happens to stumble across my path, that’s wonderful. But it’s also wonderful to just be single.
I am happily single because I do not need another person, place, or thing to make me whole. Your life is full of possibility, and being single could make those possibilities even more expansive.
Singleness is not just “the time when you’re not in a relationship”; it’s your time to follow happiness and not a specific person. In the end, your positive outlook will draw everything else you are looking for into your life — whether that includes a mate or not is fate’s decision.
Either way, right now, you are exactly where you need to be. Enjoy the single life.
by Jessica Cooper
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
Jessica Cooper—> Life Enthusiast. Thrill Seeker. Adventurer. She’s a free spirited go-getter, full time ocean dweller and part time ping pong champion! She writes about what fascinates her, and posts awesome pictures with a gopro on her instagram “@jessicoops “. Keep calm and carry on? Nawww! Stay spastic, do wild things, and be merry!
Photo: Aditya Rakhman/Flickr