By Chelli Pumphrey
The anxiety of finding love can drive a person crazy. You’ve likely dated some people who have made you wonder, in retrospect, why you ever gave them a chance. It’s sometimes hard to know if they’re worth your time. Here are a few things to consider to help you decide:
They don’t play games.
If you’re still wondering if you should text or not, or if they take a day or two to return a call… you’re not in the relationship zone yet.
If they can live with you wanting to text whenever, and you can feel comfortable texting them at any hour of the day, you’re golden. At some point, you cross over the line from the anxiety of dating to the security of a relationship where communication is expected and accepted. This is a good sign that they’re into you.
They’ve got your back.
Do they put you first? When you’re in a crisis or just having a bad day, can they put their needs aside to support you? You should feel like a priority, with consistency. Think strong, steady, and dependable.
Someone who cancels plans, doesn’t follow through, or leaves you guessing can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. A great relationship should feel like your refuge and your foundation, the place you can return to when the world around you falls apart. If they’ve got a knack for being there for you, they’re definitely worth it.
Trust is essential. If you don’t have trust, it becomes impossible to grow into a committed relationship.
How do you know if someone is trustworthy? Dependability and consistency are characteristics of a trustworthy person. Actions should also match words. If someone talks a good talk, but doesn’t walk the walk, it is a sign that they’re not worth trusting. Do they share their life with you, and do they want to know more about your life? Trust comes from taking a risk with someone, then learning that it was safe to take that risk.
They’re comfortable with a relationship.
Relationships require intimacy and a commitment to the relationship. Someone who’s in it for the long haul will be willing to take the risk to share themselves with you in deep, vulnerable ways. They’ll be willing to move forward with you as your relationship grows. They’ll be open to sharing fears, flaws, and strengths to you and allow you to do the same. This will undoubtedly help you feel peace and security in a relationship.
If they fear the vulnerability and closeness of a relationship, it’s doubtful you’ll be committing to the long haul together.
They can handle you.
Let’s face it. Sometimes we can experience a roller coaster of emotions. We can cry one minute, get lost in worry or fear, and be laughing the next. A partner who is stable in their presence, and comfortable with their own and other’s emotions is most definitely a keeper.
The person worth your time won’t think you’re crazy, needy, or too much to handle. They’ll be present with your emotions and will validate them, not dismiss them. If they aren’t threatened or annoyed by your flowing emotional state, high five yourself. You found a good one.
There are certainly other things that will meet your partner criteria list, but these are a few golden standards to consider. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s only half in, or not in at all. And trust that there are plenty of possibilities out there waiting for you if this one isn’t measuring up to your standards. You’re worth it.
“5 Signs They’re Worth Your Time” was originally published on MeetMindful; republished with permission.
About the Author: Chelli Pumphrey, MA, LPC is a love & dating coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor from Denver, CO. More importantly, she’s a human being who strives to live an authentic life, by being real, raw, and unafraid to express her truth. She is devoted to helping others live and love passionately by gaining the confidence to be authentic in their own lives. She is the founder of Authentic Dating, where she offers heart opening retreats and dating and relationship coaching for those looking for guidance on how to keep their minds calm and their hearts strong in their quest for love. If you’re looking to boost your dating confidence, self-esteem, and become a dating warrior, you can visit Chelli at AuthenticDate.com, follow on Instagram,Twitter, or like her on Facebook.
Photo: Getty Images