Excuse me Jess, didn’t you write an article claiming how wonderful it is to be single?
Yes, I am guilty of that. It’s here, and I stand by it.
But being in a relationship can be awesome too. With the right person and the right dynamic. With a fine balance between quality time together and respecting your needs as an individual.
I started a relationship after I wrote that article. And after almost 3 years alone, I got reminded of the nice little perks that a relationship brings to your life.
I bet you can relate to the points below.
Life Gets More Exciting
I am boring as hell.
I like to travel and I can hold interesting conversations on many topics, but my daily life is dull. I can spend entire weekends at home if nobody forces me out.
But my girlfriend kicks my ass. In a cute and gentle way.
She’s always planning the next fun thing: skating, surfing, trying a new restaurant, cooking a fancy dish.
Of course, we also do Netflix marathons, but we don’t default to that.
Having the right person in your life brightens up your days and makes them more interesting. Sometimes, you just need a little push to get rid of your old, tired ways.
Your Behaviour Is Healthier
When you are single, you risk spending a lot more time alone. Studies show that social isolation and loneliness can increase the likelihood of mortality by up to 30%.
While you should spend time by yourself, being on your own for too long is harmful.
Alone, you get lost inside your head.
You overthink.
You become a hypochondriac.
You eat a whole tub of ice cream while watching a movie.
You have a beer when you feel down and, before you know it, you’ve had one too many.
A person by your side is a constant reality check. They force you to stay healthy, sociable, human.
A Pair of Ears Does Wonders
A good partner listens.
They might not even say much back. But the simple fact that you can pour your heart our helps a great deal.
Research from UCLA shows that putting your feelings into words — called “affect labeling” — helps dealing with your emotions.
You could talk to a rubber duck instead, but it would probably make you feel more weird than good.
Your Overall Health Improves
Plenty of studies connect meaningful relationships and a sense of thriving.
People who have healthy, steady, rewarding relationships with others have better mental health, higher levels of subjective well-being, and can even live longer!
This Harvard study shows that people who are the happiest with their relationships at age 50 are the healthiest when they reach 80.
This is palpable. When you feel happy and safe with someone, you tackle life differently. You feel invincible because you have a solid ground to stand on and caring arms to fall into when the world comes crumbling down.
Someone Has Your Back
The other day, I had to pack a bunch of stuff in a box to send it over post. The box was slightly smaller than it should be, so I had to seriously push the contents, while trying to tape the open end of the box.
I could have used 4 hands. Instead, I used my 2 hands, my butt and my legs. It worked, but I could have done the same without having broken a sweat.
Having someone by your side means getting help on the little daily things.
Your tall partner grabs the pasta at the top shelf.
She cooks dinner for you when you feel under the weather.
She calms you when you are overwhelmed.
A good partner makes your life easier and sweeter. While you should be able to do just fine on your own, there is nothing wrong with accepting a little help every now and then.
Sexy Time Is Sexier
Meaningless adventures can be hot.
But there is nothing like sex with someone you deeply know and trust.
As you get experienced with each other, you learn what makes the other tick, what drives them wild every time, how to talk dirty to each other.
Studies show that the best sex occurs in couples who have been together for 15 years or longer.
You know each other’s body perfectly.
There is no pressure.
Sex feels less of a performance.
You feel comfortable being honest with one another.
Sex with someone you know and knows you is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
Kissing Is Awesome
Enough said.
Before You Leave
Not all relationships and born and bred equal.
Being in a relationship brings you all the benefits above, and even more, but only with the right person.
If you feel your relationship is nothing like this, it might be time to re-evaluate it. Here you find some tips to help you assess whether you should break up with your partner.
And remember, if you do break up, being single is awesome too!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Ave Calvar on Unsplash