It’s the sad truth but more people are connected to their mobile devices and laptops than to the people around them.
And because of these habits, we start to feel distant from people, not because they’re not around us or right next to us — but because we haven’t taken the time to deepen our connection.
Deepening your connection with loved ones if it’s your partner, best friend or kids can be difficult because you’re not sure what the other person will say or how they feel about you.
But that is the whole point.
It’s better to know how the person feels and sees you rather than wanting to push your narrative of how they feel and see you.
Remember, you might not like the answer but it will help you to improve for the sake of yourself and your loved ones.
So let’s get into these questions.
1. What Are You Learning From Me?
Relationships and friendships should be progressive and they should also help you become 1% every day. They are great support systems and also teachers. Your partner could be teaching you to be more self-compassionate or learning how to listen before you speak.
Observe, learn and be better!
2. What Do You See in Me That I Do Not See in Myself?
I always say your loved ones are the ones who truly love you for exactly who you are. You are just being you, whereas they are loving you for exactly you. And sometimes you may see yourself differently from how others see you.
Our erratic moments to do well which can make us anxious can be seen as passion in someone else’s eyes.
3. What Was Your First Impression of Me and How Has it Changed Overtime?
Although people say ‘don’t be too quick to judge’. Naturally, as humans that’s what we do when we meet people. However, over time these thoughts change when people start to peel back the layers of their personality and we get to know them at a deeper level.
4. When Do You Feel Closest to Me?
We are all different, our love languages are different, and our needs and wants in life and our loved ones are different. We cannot equate what we want the same as what our partners want.
Find out when your partner or friend feels closest to you — and mentally note it down so you know what they may need from you.
5. If I Lost All My Memories, What Would You Tell Me About Us?
A deeper question that will allow you to fully express yourself and let the other person know how you truly feel about the relationship or friendship.
Naturally, we will find ourselves telling the other person about their great attributes as in this hypothetical situation, they will not be aware of them.
6. What Could I be Doing Better in This Relationship?
A question that a lot of people do not want to be asked but it is definitely a question that can improve the dynamics of your relationship. You will see from the other person’s perspective what they feel they have lacked from you.
Don’t get in your feelings!
7. What Are You Hesitant to Ask Me?
Leaving the most vulnerable for last.
The point of these questions is to feel a deeper connection and like I mentioned prior, there are going to be some uncomfortable answers where you will have to be brave and keep quiet and listen.
If the person was hesitant to ask you all this time, it would be hard for them to say it — so be understanding!
Feeling More Connected
Anybody who goes through this exercise, I hope it allows you and your partner or friend to deepen their connection and not distance yourselves more. Nobody is perfect and we’re all work in progress.
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
Criticism isn’t always bad.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Everton Vila on Unsplash