I had a really crappy day recently, as we all do from time to time. Nothing seemed to be working out the way that I had hoped, everybody that I came into contact with seemed like they were being a jerk. I was over tired, hadn’t had anything to eat all day and wasn’t dealing with the negativity well. I was wearing sunglasses to attempt to hide my red eyes when I picked my daughter up from school but she immediately noticed that I wasn’t myself and asked what was wrong.
My first instinct was to do what I had been trained to do. Respond with “nothing” or “I’m fine”, swallow my feelings and “man up.”
Instead I was honest. I told her that I was having a bad day and that I really wasn’t handling it very well emotionally. I told her that I appreciated her asking and that I was sure that tomorrow would be better but for today I was probably going to stay a little sad.
She understood and didn’t say anymore about it but I think that it was an important confession. We all want our kids to be resilient and able to handle the bad days and the disappointments ,the letdowns and the other people who aren’t going to act the way that we wish they would but there needs to be more effort made than just the words “get over it” and trying to give them that as an example. Our kids aren’t always all right and just because we weren’t either and “turned out OK” doesn’t really work. A lot of us really didn’t.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month so I guess I’m a day ahead of schedule on this message but I think that it’s important for us all to be able to acknowledge our feelings and let our kids know that it’s OK for them to do so as well. It’s not being “woke” or “soft” it’s being realistic. Many of us are holding both ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard.
It’s also OK to ask for help or to seek out help for a child that is having trouble dealing. It’s not a thing that needs to be hidden or embarrassed about.
If you or someone you know is really struggling 1-800-273-TALK is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also just dial 988.
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Previously Published on Thirsty Daddy and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock