It’s the beginning of a new year and, for many, an opportunity to do something different. It’s also the time when the phones in divorce attorneys’ and marriage counselors’ offices ring off the hook. For people like me, that’s a mixed blessing. I am happy to be a valued resource but also concerned that couples have waited to reach out for help. I am over the moon, however, that they are calling me instead of a divorce attorney.
Research has shown that the average time a couple suffers with a relationship problem before seeking help is six years. Can you imagine suffering that long with a sore leg or a tooth ache before getting help? This is because most people don’t understand that relationships, and especially marriages, aren’t really natural. Doing marriage well, like being good at anything, takes skill and practice.
So, if your marriage isn’t all you want it to be, what do you want to do about it? Ending it is one option but that presents at least as many problems as it solves, at least if you have children. Settling for things as they are is another but, if that isn’t working for you, you may think getting out is your only choice. In reality, there is a third way—making it what you want it to be.
This can be the most challenging option but is also the one with the best outcome for everyone—you, your spouse, and your children. The truth is, if you have children, you will be tied to your spouse. Doesn’t it make more sense to maximize that relationship? Settling isn’t required but taking action is. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is one definition of insanity.
But what to do differently? Ah, there’s the rub. You may be thinking your spouse is the one who needs to change. That may be true, but you can’t control that directly. You can, however, make it happen indirectly by changing what you’re doing. When you do things differently, your partner will have to as well. That’s the secret to creating a great marriage.
The catch? You probably can’t do it by yourself. It’s hard to see your part in the marriage dance. It’s even harder to know what to do differently. That’s where I can help. You’ve been reading my posts for a while and I am grateful. But what I really want to do is help you have the marriage you desire and deserve.
There are things you want to be different. Let me support you in your journey. Your primary relationship will decide either your joy or your sorrow. My goal is to make it be the former, but the choice is yours.
Most people don’t know what they don’t know about marriage. I have almost twenty years of professional knowledge about what makes marriage work and I want to share it with you. In honor of the new year, I am offering a coaching session free of charge so you can take advantage of my expertise. Don’t spend another minute in a less-than marriage. Make 2020 the year you made it great.
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This post was previously published on The Hero Husband Project and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Talk to you soon.
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