“Other hand, Allison,” our officiant whispered in my direction.
Either I didn’t hear her, or I was too caught up in the adrenaline of the moment to register what she was trying to tell me.
So, when I continued trying to put my husband’s ring on the wrong hand, she tried again.
“Other hand,” she gently nudged, not wanting to embarrass me in front of the crowd of onlookers.
Finally, I understood and quickly changed course, fumbling my way along and laughing at my little mistake.
I glanced over my shoulder to sneak a peek at our guests, who, luckily, seemed none the wiser. It looked as though my husband and our officiant were the only ones lucky enough to have witnessed this little exchange.
I breathed a sigh of relief in the moment and smiled extra wide, knowing what had just taken place and surprised that no one else seemed to notice. The three of us chuckled to ourselves and continued with the vows.
I guess it would be our little secret.
Weddings are rarely “perfect” — and not for lack of trying
At their core, weddings are meant to be a celebration of the love shared between two people.
But often, the stress of it all can overshadow the actual events of the day.
We get so focused on planning the perfect event and pulling off the fairy tale wedding that any little thing gone awry threatens to bring the whole day crashing down before us.
Growing up, I worked at hundreds of weddings as a summer job and later did a short stint as the general manager of that same wedding venue. I’ve interacted with many couples and their families over the years, and some are able to “go with the flow” more gracefully than others.
Everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect, which is completely understandable. It is, after all, a momentous occasion that is full of both seriousness and lightness. You’re making a choice to spend your life loving someone, being by their side, committing to them, and being their best friend (even when you don’t like them—and there’s no question that you will have those moments, too).
Of course you want this event to be the absolute best it can be.
But the truth is that weddings are almost never perfect, no matter how hard we try.
There will always be little things (or big things) that go awry
Let me give you some prime examples.
At my sister’s wedding in Costa Rica, she got attacked by a red ant colony moments before walking to the beautiful altar set up on the beach!
The music had already started playing, but her bridesmaids weren’t walking down the aisle ahead of her. Instead, there we were, squatting around her ankles, lifting up her dress trying to knock all the ants off her feet and legs as she shrieked in pain from all the bites she was getting! She talked about the stinging sensation she experienced for days to come. Enough said.
At one wedding I worked at years ago, the bride went to put on her wedding dress the morning of her wedding, only to realize that it wasn’t her dress. Somehow, she’d been given the wrong dress! And not only that, but this one was many sizes too big!
It’s hours before your wedding, and the bridal shop you purchased the dress from is a 4-hour roundtrip from your venue. What do you do!?
Well, in this case, she was in luck! A master seamstress who used to make wedding dresses for a living back home in Mexico was working that day, and her job was about to get 1,000 times more stressful!
In just a few hours, she whipped that dress into shape, making do with what they had in the allotted timeframe. That dress went from five sizes too big to looking like it had been made for that bride.
Now that’s what you call rolling with the punches!
Something is probably going to go wrong on your wedding day, too
Considering stories like this, along with many others I’ve heard over the years, isn’t it safe to say that something is likely to go wrong?
Whether you’re stepping into the wrong dress or stepping onto an ant hill, you’ll be dancing around no matter what!
It might be so cold that your teeth are chattering and you’re slowly turning an odd mixture of blue and purple (like I was at my wedding), your cake flavours might be all wrong, or your best man might forget the rings back at the room at a resort that’s the size of a small country! Whatever it is, it’s almost guaranteed that there will be something to look back on and reminisce about years down the road.
Some of these things may be more stressful than others in the moment, but one thing is for sure: every little thing that goes wrong makes for a great story that you’ll be able to tell for years to come!
The important thing to remember in these moments is that they aren’t going to matter to your relationship one bit, but how you handle them right then and there will matter to your overall enjoyment of your special day.
Which hand is the ring supposed to go on, anyway?
Putting my husband’s ring on the wrong hand during our ceremony in front of all our friends and family was slightly embarrassing, yes. But now, when I look back on it, it’s more funny than anything.
My husband continues to tease me about it to this day, and it brings a smile to both of our faces every time the memory comes up.
I don’t think about how stupid it was or how I looked like an idiot; I think about how innocent and how perfect it was. I think about how we laughed when we realized, and how big and goofy our smiles were that day. I think about how sweet our officiant was to gently correct me, and how she handled the whole mishap like the pro she is.
It’s often the mishaps and misadventures that stick with you, not the parts that went “perfectly” smoothly and according to plan. These are the stories that make up a life. These are the things we’ll remember fondly as we look back over the years.
…
So, embrace them.
Expect that everything won’t be perfect on your wedding day, and I promise you you’ll enjoy every minute of it a whole lot more.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Soroush Karimi on Unsplash
