There was this place I went to for help with my mental illness at one point in my life. It was called Roger’s Behavioral Health. I stayed at the OCD center, where people with said illness lived and were treated.
One of the females that stayed there — let’s call her Callie — became quite a good friend of mine during my stay. She helped me work on my plans for when I got out, helped keep me company while I was on the inside, and showed me that good women do exist, no matter how few and far between they may be.
Now, she’s had more education than me, but despite that fact, she’s currently working a job at a grocery store near her house bringing food out to curbside customers. This isn’t to knock her grind or anything; in fact, I think it’s honorable what she’s doing. Entry level gigs are often the hardest and most mundane of jobs, and anyone who does them deserves a pat on the back. Especially her, the girl who might possibly be the sweetest and most angelic female I’ve met in my entire life. She deserves all the accolades available.
Something else to note is that when I went to Roger’s with her, she was still a virgin. I remember it vividly, because it was so uncommon for a girl of her age to have saved herself for so long. This is one of the main reasons I was and still am so infatuated with her.
At this current point in time, however, I am unsure if her status is still that of a virgin, but I know one thing: She is special enough to be courted seriously, and possibly even to marry. Her general demeanor alone indicates that.
Even though we both have OCD, I think that can be viewed as an asset rather than a liability. It just means we can understand each other’s struggles better than the average person could. We can also hold each other accountable when we start looking for reassurance and listening to what OCD has to say. It is the doubting disease, after all, and having someone there who can be of support is priceless.
Some people are of the opinion that if two partners have the same mental illness, it may not be a good combination, but I say fuck that. I’m of the opinion that it can only make us stronger as a couple, and I do want us to be a couple.
I can’t imagine a better feeling than coming home to her sweet, loving presence after a long, hard day at work. Seeing her and spending time with her would be all I’d need to make life worthwhile.
Even if we never become a thing, I still want her to know just how much of an impact she had on me at Roger’s and how much I think of her to this day. If she knew even a tenth of my love for her, I have a feeling she’d take me a bit more serious than she does at the moment.
Alas, I may never get the chance to feel her lips on mine, to feel her loving embrace, but I know I’m better off for having met her, and that’s a fact. Just the idea of her makes me want to be a better man. Just the mere concept of a relationship with her is enough to get me out of bed in the morning, to get me through my shit day at work, and to get me motivated to actually do something with my life. Hopefully by the time I make something of myself, she’s still on the open market. Either way, just having that fire lit under me and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, however brief that glimpse is, is enough to brighten up my life immensely. If that’s all she ever does for me, it’ll be worth it.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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